With God saying “I hate divorce” (Mal 2:16) and many Christians seeking to follow God’s plan for their lives, why is the divorce rate in the church the same as out in the world?
Yet when you consider that many Christians struggle to follow the word of God, it really isn’t any wonder that we have such a high divorce rate.
I do want to be clear—there is nothing Christ-like about staying in an abusive relationship. If you need get to safety for you or your children, separation until significant change has consistently taken place is needed.
But at the end of the day there is one thing that I teach all of my marriage-counseling clients and that is—
If you have two people who are willing to put in the work, marriage is sustainable. It won’t be perfect. After all, we are all broken and you cannot bring two fragmented pieces and form a whole. But you can bring two broken pieces to form a very unique and beautiful creation!
It’s no secret that marriage is not easy. So why do so many Christian couples suffer in silence, particularly when God tells us that we are to seek wise counsel? “Through insolence comes nothing but strife, but wisdom is with those who receive counsel” (Proverbs 13:10).
Christian marriage counseling is can be the missing ingredient to a successful and lasting union. It’s not the role of a Christian marriage counselor to sides or fix one person’s behavior so the other will stay. My role is to help you understand each other’s God-given strengths and weaknesses so that you can see how God brought you together to compliment each other.
Could you imagine if both people in the marriage were exactly the same? If both people were outgoing, impulsive and irresponsible? What a mess that would be! Or if both partners were introverts with little motivation? How boring would that be?
Christian marriage counseling not only gets to the core of the presenting issues, but also drills down—when necessary—to get to the underlying issues that are contributing to the triggers.
I understand that asking for help can be distressing. But Christian marriage counseling is not about admitting defeat, it’s about building trust and creating the conditions for love to flourish. Most importantly, it aims to help you both open to all the possibilities that God has purposed for your union.