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You Were Never Meant to Fit In

A sense of belonging is one of our greatest human needs.  From our earliest childhood moments, we just want to be a part of something.  We want to fit in.

Think of the school-aged girl looking to be a part of the popular clique, or the young boy who just wants to be accepted into the club. As kids, we would do anything to feel like we fit in somewhere. We all wanted to be one of the first to be picked for the team and if we were ever excluded from a party invitation, life was over!

But what happens when you spend a lifetime trying to fit in? You may never have been rejected outright, but for some reason, you never felt like you fit in completely with any one group.

This common phenomenon is painful, but it actually makes a lot of sense and is a very good sign. Why?

You were never meant to fit in!

God has a special purpose for you, and if you “fit in” somewhere, you would not be searching for your spot. It is the searching that will enable you to hear His voice and His purpose.  While others are running with their crowds and spending their time catering to those relationships, you are in a unique position to have Him do something transformational in your life—if you let Him.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about:

Sidney was a real estate executive who felt so blessed that she had her core group of friends.  They were inseparable and did everything together.  They tried workout classes together, they cried together and they talked about everything.  That may sound wonderful, but Sidney always sensed something was missing. But because she was so consumed, she could not hear the voice of God and often times didn’t feel the need to since she had all of her needs met (or so she thought).

Sidney later came to Christ and suffered a tremendous loss.  These friends that she once fit in with now barely included her.

Sidney learned firsthand what it felt like to not fit in.  She began to fall into a depression until we explored grieving the loss and making room for what God has for her.

Sidney later became one of the leaders of the women’s ministry in her church and she has found new friends.  But this time, no one is taking God’s place in her life.

The next time you feel that you are not a part of something or feel that no one is there for you, consider yourself extremely special.  Leaders often stand alone.  Those with great purpose cannot spend too much time and energy with mediocrity.

Be encouraged by the apostle Paul.  “A servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God.” (Romans 1:1) And know that God may be preventing you from fitting in for a far greater purpose.