3 Things Every Mom of a Teenage Daughter Needs to Do
If you want a low paying, thankless, emotionally draining, time zapping job….than be a mom! If you want to add a little bit of craziness and confusion….be a mom to a teenage daughter.
Raising children is tough, but raising teenage girls is a nightmare if you don’t’ know how to navigate through the turbulent teenage years.
These years are absolutely crucial to a girls success in life and overall sense of well-being and security. So while many moms are throwing their hands up in the air and saying “I made it through, so can she”, this is not the answer. Many moms back off at this point feeling as if they are losing control of their teenagers and while it can feel this way, it is actually not the case. In many cases the relationship needs a bit of a shift.
There are 3 things that have helped me as well as countless women navigate through the turbulent teenage years with their girls.
- Teach Life – there are lessons in life that are much easier to learn earlier rather than later. Teenage girls think they have all the answers simply because they feel as if they are supposed to. Give them answers to life’s questions and they will feel more secure, more equipped and more mature than their peers. As a mom, I made a list of the things in life that I wanted to teach my girls (how to budget money, how to spot a loser, how to tell if a friend is using you, etc). I made sure that I made time to teach (not lecture) on these important but often overlooked lessons in life. Think of things you know your daughter will go through in life and teach in advance. She’ll thank you for it.
- Boundaries – Teenager girls need boundaries just like everyone does. They need to know what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior and there can’t be any confusion. If inappropriate behavior is tolerated to any extent it causes stress for mom and confusion for daughter. Creating these boundaries may not get you the role of “BFF” right away, but it will get you the respect you need to be stress free and her to be secure.
- Stay Involved – one of the biggest mistakes I see moms make is to back off from asking their daughters anything because they are afraid of how they will react. Or worse, I see moms involve themselves too much in their daughter’s lives in an effort to live through them. Both approaches are unhealthy and dysfunctional. Stay involved to the extent that you know where your teenage daughter is at all times and who she is with. Yes, check out the friends and boyfriends, get to know them. If you don’t approve, you can teach those life lessons ahead of time before they infect your teenager and it becomes too late.
The teenage years always come to an end. The difference between whether a teenage girl grows to be a responsible adult with a good relationship with her mom or an adult that still acts like a teenager is the influence at home in those crucial years.
