Hope For the Single Season
Are you tired of waiting? Are you tired of everyone telling you that God has your Boaz for you as they look upon you with eyes of pity? Are you tired of everyone telling you to enjoy this “single season”?
You may nod your head in agreement and say a few “amens” but deep down in your soul, your heart aches for true love.
Whether you are recently divorced or have been struggling with your singleness for a lifetime, there is one common question that always looms. “Will I ever find that someone who will love me?”
I remember after my divorce, I went on a man fast to allow God to do His work in me. but regardless of how great my intensions were, I always wondered if there was really a godly man out there that I could share life with, a man who loved me the way God calls a man to love his wife and a man that I found myself incredibly attracted to. And if there was, where on earth was he???
It was a tall order, but by this point in my life, I knew that God was a big God.
There are 3 ways that helped me make the most of my single season and allow God to bless me in ways I never expected.
1. Focus on what God is doing in you –Many women will gladly ward off men after they have been hurt but as soon as the pains of loneliness set in, the focus goes back to finding the man of your dreams. You may fast men for a period of time but without understanding what God is trying to do in you, the results are the same as they would be with an extreme diet. Once the diet is over you BINGE! God is allowing you to be alone in this season for a reason. Just the “act” of being alone will not constitute change. Allow God to have His way in you and He will make you into the woman that the godly man he has for you needs you to be. “Cease striving and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10, NASB)
2. Understand what YOU want in a relationship– some women are so eager to be in a relationship, they become anything for anyone. The problem with this is it can’t last. You can put on a mask and pretend for a short time but eventually the real you will shine through and all those areas that you settled on and compromised in come back to bite you with a vengeance. I have spent far too much time counseling woman who would love nothing more than to be single again because they entered into a marriage for all the wrong reasons.
3. Learn to enjoy the season – it’s just that….a season. Do you wait well? When God says He has a promise for you, do you live life with joy waiting for God to work suddenly? Or do you grumble and complain every time something looks contrary to His promise? Remember the Israelites took 40 years to take an 11 day journey. I believe had they just embraced and enjoyed the season they were in, they would have seen their promised land.
Yes, waiting is difficult. I don’t care how patient you are. We all want what we want and we want it now, but much like a tree that needs to deepen it’s roots before It can climb to new heights, we have to be rooted in some key foundations before we are ready to withstand the storms of life with a mate.