Have you ever wondered why your life hasn’t turned out the way you expected? Is it bad luck? Or someone else’s fault? Or God’s plan?
In my counseling and coaching of women I have seen that there are three subtle lies that a vast majority of women are telling themselves daily. And it’s these lies that are keeping you from all that God created you to be.
Subtle lie #1: If I only had more time, I could do everything I want to do
I refer to this as a “go-to lie” because it’s where so many people’s thinking seems to go. I’m not saying you’re not busy. We’re all busy. But the difference between successful people and people who are unfulfilled is how they spend their time. Unfulfilled people are focused on the urgent, not the important. It takes discipline to focus on what’s important and not giving in to every little distraction life throws at us.
You may use your jam-packed schedule as an excuse for not taking care of your health or going back to school, but if someone you loved walked in to the room with deep, bleeding gash, you’d find the time to go to the hospital. Or if you ran into an old friend you’d find an hour to catch up. Everything in life is a choice. And you always have the power to choose to spend time on the things that are truly important to you.
Subtle lie #2: There’s something wrong with me.
How is it that we can know in our heads that God has made each one of us uniquely different (Psalm 139:13) yet still assume something is wrong with us. Your words may say, “I don’t care what they think,” but your heart is longing to fit in.
In my practice, I review my clients’ temperaments and each one is so distinctive that I find it simply amazing. But many women who have grown up with a different temperament than perhaps their parents or siblings are made to feel like they need to change. This breaks my heart as I see the number of years wasted. God made you EXACTLY the way he wanted you to be, and He doesn’t make mistakes.
Subtle lie #3: I’m not good enough
This lie comes from one of two places: it was either a message you consistently heard in childhood, or a sign of your inexperience.
Messages from childhood can leave a lasting impression on your deep core beliefs. But at the end of the day, you still have the choice as to whether or not you want to believe that lie.
More often, the lie of not being good enough comes from a lack of confidence. And a lack of confidence comes only from a lack of experience, and experience can be gained. Now that I’ve done it dozens of times, I have plenty of confidence to get up and speak in front of a room full of people. But I wouldn’t feel confident about flying an aircraft. The “I’m not good enough” lie can only begin to disappear when you start to step out and learn what you need to learn. The worst thing you can do is allow the lie to keep you from even starting, because that only further perpetuates the “I’m not good enough” lie.
All the lies we tell ourselves come from one source: toxic thinking. And toxic thoughts grow from core beliefs that have been so deeply embedded into your subconscious that you don’t even realize you are thinking that way and sabotaging your own success.
Take a FREE “How toxic are your thoughts?” quiz to find out if your lies are holding you back in life.