Many Christians have the idea that a Christ-follower must be accepting of other people to the point where we tolerate toxic behavior all in the name of love. But toxic people are a breed unto themselves. When I say “toxic people,” I’m not talking about struggling, broken people; I’m referring to difficult people who are not dealing with their issues and causing intentional harm to others.

To think that you could change such a person is not biblical; it’s prideful.


There is one person you can change, and that’s you. More specifically, you can change how you identify and deal with these seemingly devil-sent individuals.


The following six books can help you break free from the chains in which toxic people bind you.


Safe People
By Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Have you ever given your best and gotten the worst in return? In this highly practical reference guide, Henry Cloud and John Townsend teach you the traits of unsafe people and help you recognize what makes people trustworthy.


By Henry Cloud and John Townsend

If you feel like you always have to say yes to everyone’s requests and it’s leaving you feeling drained and unappreciated, you will want to grab this book. Another amazing resource by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, Boundariesteaches you how to let limits and still be a loving person.


Should I Stay or Should I Go?
By Dr. Ramani Durvasula

In this modern epidemic of narcissism, many who interact with left can often feel confused, insecure and frustrated. In this book, author Dr. Ramani Durvasula gives you the tools to help you navigate through the rough terrain of narcissistic relationships and determine the best course of action for your situation.


When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People
By Gary Thomas

As Christians we often feel the guilt and responsibility of meeting the needs of unhealthy people in our lives. Author Gary Thomas helps you to learn the difference between difficult and toxic people and how to keep a tender heart even in unhealthy relationships.


It’s not Supposed to Be this Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered
By Lysa Terkeurst

We can easily find ourselves disillusion and disappointed by life, especially when we are dealing with toxic people. The pain and hurt can leave you feeling shattered. Author Lysa Terkeurst shares deeply from her own experience of pain and invites you to discover the secret of being steadfast and not panicking when God actually does give you more than you can handle.


The Anger Trap
By Dr. Les Carter

Anger breeds toxicity. And if you are in a relationship with a toxic person, you know how destructive anger can be. In The Anger Trap, Dr. Les Carter helps bring clarity to what’s behind a person’s anger and how to resolve it. Whether you are in a relationship with an angry toxic person, or perhaps you are the one who is struggling with anger, this is an invaluable resource.

I hope you have found this list helpful. Is there one book that grabs your attention? Let me know in the comments.

Want more? Grab my FREE Toxic People Survival Guide to learn how to identify and deal with toxic people.

3 replies
  1. Martha Krech
    Martha Krech says:

    Hi my name is Martha
    I am responding because I am trying to identify if I am in a toxic relationship with a friend. If she is the toxic one or if I am. I feel it pours over into my relationship with my husband.I have a counselor she’s not Christian and so I have a hard time talking to her about my issues and how they relate to my Christian walk. I want healthy relationships in my life. I want to make healthy decisions for my life and I keep feeling like I get pulled back into frustration and depression. Will any of these help me in my own toxicity? Does this make sense?

  2. Martha krech
    Martha krech says:

    Hi my name is Martha if this is a public feed I dont want my post on here I was such searching for help. I dont want to put anyone on the spot I just want to work through my stuff.

  3. Paul Golembiewski
    Paul Golembiewski says:

    Re: “…In this modern epidemic of narcissism, many who interact with left can often feel confused, insecure and frustrated. …”
    Really? Isn’t “narcissism” just another manifestation of sin?
    When two become joined together by a Sovereign God, let no man with Satan’s help try to pull apart. No? The major emphasis from Dr. Ramani’s pulpit seems on the sin, and not the true remedy.
    She uses the raw material of mankind’s narcissistic spectrum, as ubiquitous and plentious as sand, and goes about “helping” folk construct glass houses. Stony hearts in glass houses; not good.

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