When I Stopped Doing this One Thing My Relationship with God Grew Fast
One church to the next, I would search for the most charismatic environment I could find because I longed for the spirit of God, I would wait online for hours, just for Word to be spoken over me. I would pray endlessly for a powerful move of God to overtake every fiber of my being, I was a woman on fire for God or so I thought.
I went to a conference many years ago and the purpose of this conference for me. Anyway was to experience a powerful move of God. And at the time, I needed guidance and direction and I was hoping for a miracle I went with expectation because that’s what faith does, right? But what I realized was that I was making this relationship with God all about me. Yes, I would worship God through song but the truth was, I was more about what I could get than what I could give. And I looked around at hundreds of people who were truly looking like, they were trying to conjure up the presence of God. It was almost like some Voodoo experience and emotions were high as the music pounded through our soul. And it was at that moment that I realized, This is exhausting. And I didn’t mean it in a way where I’m not willing to spend my energy for God’s glory. I mean, it in a way where it was emotionally draining in such a way that it made me wonder. Is this what God even really wants?
Is this really, what God’s presence is all about having pre-orchestrated events timed perfectly to induce a particular emotion and then calling that a powerful move of God? But was this really God? I walked out of that conference forever changed but not in the way I thought I vowed that I would stop searching for experiences and start searching for his heart and don’t get me wrong, I believe in miracles. I believe in creating an atmosphere to invite the Holy Spirit. I believe that he can provide incredible experiences for us. I pray for Revival, but I realize that I would walk out of conferences, church services, you name it upset if I didn’t get a word from the Lord crushed if I didn’t have some amazing revelation, disappointed if the pastor didn’t preach a message that caused the Holy Spirit to show up.
My friend, I had it all backward. I placed the emotional above the eternal, I craved his hand more than his heart. I was completely convicted that when you place the desire for experiences over your relationship you’re treading on very thin ice because not only is it selfish, it brings danger with it, and stick with me because we’re going to talk about a few of them in just a moment. But if you are always waiting for a word from the Lord, but you don’t actually read his word. If you frequently need a strong feeling, during your time with God, if you mistake an emotional expression for a move of the Holy Spirit, if you feel like you’re always battling Satan, if you find that you’re always at the altar, if you are always chasing down teachers, preachers and won’t receive from anyone else. If you find that, you’re always acting on the word of a preacher but not on the word of God’s truth. My friend, If you always have to be slain in the spirit, if you always have to have this amazing story of how God is moving in your life, my friend, you are treading on dangerous, spiritual ground when your goal is the next experience. You’ve missed the point of the relationship. I know I did.
Yes, we serve a God that loves to bless his children. Yes, we serve a God. who delights in the welfare of each, and every one of his children. He cares about every aspect of your life, but when we make it more about what we can get from him, rather than what we can do for him, we are surfing on very selfish waters and our heart should be to serve God and love him with all of our heart, all of our soul, and all of my mind.
And here’s how I see it now, God has already done so much for me, and when I came to the place when I realize that God you owe me nothing I want all that you have for me but you owe me nothing and it’s saving me from a life of eternal damnation through the blood of your son. Jesus is all that you’ve ever done for me. Well, it was certainly more than I’ve ever deserved when I gave up on seeking an experience from God and started seeking God himself. That’s when my relationship really started to grow.
And as I mentioned before, they’re also dangers to focusing on seeking experiences.
Number 1 – Ingratitude.
When you’re searching for the next experience, the last one becomes old news. It’s kind of, like a junkie, they’re always after the next movement, the next moment, the next high.
Number 2 – You become unstable.
When your feelings are based upon your experiences, your moods, be like the wind they’re going to fluctuate.
Number 3 – You are open to the demonic.
Satan and his demons are more than happy to send you an experience that looks and feels like a move of God, but it might not be remembered like in the days of Moses when the magicians were able to perform many of the same miracles.
Satan will gladly, send a false Spirit disguised as an angel of light to send you maybe a prophetic word or an emotional outburst, or worse, a devil-derived demonstration of what you think is the Holy Spirit. That’s why we’re told in first John, 4:1 to test the spirits to see whether they are from God. Many false prophets have gone out. We are in a time where false prophets and teachers are everywhere and it’s critical to know how to recognize them but that’s going to be for another time.
And if you would like a deeper dive teaching on how to recognize false teachers, please let me know in the comments below.
When I was seeking experience, I would get caught up in the music, manufacture a move, and when things didn’t work out declare and rebuke until my face turned purple, but all I did was get exhausted and that’s because it wasn’t experience, it was emotionalism and our God, far surpasses our temporary emotions and he deserves our faith.
Again, I am not saying that. God doesn’t give us experiences, but I am saying that when you seek experiences when your desire for experiences surpasses your desire for God your relationship is going to suffer.
Your experience can never trump the word of God. A true relationship with God is not a fuzzy, feeling a physical response, or some magical moment. It is a long-lasting loving counter. That is patient and trusting and self-sacrificing and if that sounds boring to you, dare I say you’re more interested. Some form of mysticism then you are in a relationship with God, my friend. I hope that you will recognize it faster than I did that a deep relationship with God is worth more than any experience that you can encounter.
And if, and when you do have a true experience from God, you’re going to know it. Because that experience will carry you. A lifetime and made a cry of our hearts. Be like the song is David in Psalm 63:1. When he was in the wilderness of Judah and he said, “oh God, you are my God honestly, I Seek You. My Soul thirsts For You, and My Flesh faints for you as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.”
If you are struggling in your faith or you want to grow in your faith, I want to invite you to join us for a Free Five-day Mountain Moving Faith devotional, it is my gift to you because I believe that you to my friend have Mountain Moving faith.