If you’re a Christian and are considering a divorce, I won’t be so bold as to say that I understand what you’re going through despite the fact that I have been through a divorce myself—two, in fact. I do know that it’s difficult for anyone else to understand the unique dynamics behind your marriage and the pain you may be suffering.

I also know that choosing to get a divorce is one of the most agonizing decisions you can make. There is a pile-up of conflicting emotions, including anger, fear and excitement over the future.

Whether you are the one itching to get out or have just received the worst news of your life, divorce can be devastating to both parties and especially to the children, no matter how prepared you may think you are.

As a Licensed Christian Counselor and Divorce Recovery Coach, I work with many people who have gone through a divorce, are going through a divorce or desire a divorce.

It’s not uncommon for one or both parties to look at divorce as a solution to their marital woes and an end to their pain and frustration. But often times, divorce only succeeds in trading one set of problems for different problems. In many cases, divorce doesn’t bring the happiness you might expect because if the problem lies within yourself, your issues will follow you through the transition because wherever you go, there you are.

If you are thinking that unhappiness after divorce only happens outside of the church, you are mistaken.

If you marriage has a fighting chance, it should be given that chance. I could shock you with the stories of marriages that you would have never thought would be able to recover, but they did and the spouses are now living the “happily ever after.”

If your marriage seems worth fighting for, consider giving Christian Marriage Counseling a chance.  It’s a small investment to make for the biggest decision of your life and your family’s life.

Making Sure a Christian Divorce Is the Right Thing to Do

If you have already tried or are unwilling to try to repair your marriage, there are several questions you should ask before proceeding with divorce:

  1. Do you believe that divorce will make you feel better? Divorce may solve some of your problems but it brings a host of other ones.
  2. Are you driven by your feelings? Feelings change, commitments shouldn’t. It is possible with the right help to change your feelings towards your spouse.
  3. Do you value having a successful marriage? Many people put raising kids and having a fulfilling career above having a successful marriage.
  4. Are you Biblically released? If you are looking into Christian Divorce than my guess is you are looking to follow God’s way of doing things. The first thing you need to ask yourself is, has there been infidelity, abuse or abandonment? If not, you will be outside of God’s will if you proceed with the divorce.

If, after counseling, you decide to move forward with the divorce process, be careful with the next steps you take as they can have a great impact on your future.

If you need referrals for a litigator, mediator or collaborative attorney, don’t hesitate to reach out. Finding that person to journey with you during this critical time is crucial.