I know what it’s like

to lose yourself trying

to love difficult people well.

I know what it’s like to lose yourself trying to love difficult people well.

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Hi, I’m Kris.

For years, I thought being a good Christian meant being endlessly understanding, forgiving, helpful, and willing to give people another chance.

That made me very good at relationships where other people brought very little—and I made up the difference.

Eventually, I had to face the fact that the problem wasn’t only the toxic people in my life. I had patterns of my own that kept me stuck with them.

For the better part of two decades, I’ve been immersed in the world of toxic relationships—studying them professionally, enduring them personally, and examining them biblically.

Today, I bring you the best of what I’ve lived and learned to help you recognize toxic and narcissistic patterns, break free from codependency, set biblical boundaries, and grow in wisdom and discernment.

I’ve authored four books, including my latest, Breaking the Narcissist’s Grip, created numerous online courses, and published hundreds of videos reaching millions of people around the world.

My heart is to help you see clearly, heal deeply, grow spiritually, and become the person God created you to be—regardless of who chooses to grow with you.

My purpose

How it all started…

My search for significance started young.

I spent many childhood summers peering over the fence at the community pool, wishing my family could afford a season pass. I sewed fake labels onto my no-name jeans and even perfected a pattern for stirrup pants that launched my first business—selling leggings to my fellow eighth graders.

That may make me sound spunky and my childhood sound charming, but the truth is, I resented my humble upbringing. I wanted more.

More money. More success. More significance.

So I ran from anything I thought might stand between me and the life I wanted—including God—and toward anything or anyone that made me feel significant.

For a while, I thought it was working.

But after two failed marriages and a career that left me burned out, I was forced to face the truth:

My running wasn’t working.

I had spent years trying to build a life that looked nothing like the one I came from, only to discover that success couldn’t fix what was driving me—and neither could another relationship.

There are parts of my story I once wished I could erase.

Today, I can see how God has used even those broken pieces to shape the work I now do.

But in His sovereign grace, He didn’t disqualify me – He transformed me

If there’s anyone who should be disqualified from representing Him, it should be me.

But in His sovereign grace, He didn’t disqualify me. He transformed me.

The anxious, sleepless nights began to disappear. In their place came a joy I couldn’t explain, a peace I couldn’t manufacture, and a love for people that I knew didn’t come naturally to me.

But trusting God when He’s changing you is one thing. Trusting Him when He asks you to change your entire life is another.

It’s easy to say, “My God will supply all my needs” when there’s money in the bank.

It gets a little more real when God says, Close the successful business you’ve spent years building. Go back to school. I have something else for you.

I was excited.

And terrified.

Because passion is wonderful—but passion doesn’t pay the mortgage.

Still, I couldn’t shake the conviction that God was asking me to stop talking about faith and actually live it. So I closed my personal training business, went back to school, and stepped into a future I couldn’t see and certainly couldn’t control.

And there was one thought I couldn’t get past:

I couldn’t spend one more day helping people build better bodies while their minds were a mess and their souls were in torment.

So I hit the books.

I didn’t know exactly where God was taking me.

I just knew it was time to go.

Then God refined my mission…

I started counseling anyone who would give me a listening ear. And for years, I had a front-row seat to what happens when biblical truth collides with the places people are hurting most.

I loved the work.

But eventually, I was booked solid and burning out. There were only so many people I could sit across from in a day—and I began to realize that maybe I wasn’t supposed to keep helping people one at a time.

I felt a little like Moses before Jethro stepped in and essentially said, You can’t keep doing this by yourself.

So I started teaching what I had learned.

One course became another. Then came the books, hundreds of videos, speaking, and a community of Christians around the world looking for biblical answers to some of the most confusing and painful relationships in their lives.

And somewhere along the way, God refined the mission again.

I realized I wasn’t here simply to help people survive toxic relationships. I wanted to help them recognize the patterns those relationships exposed in them, grow in wisdom and discernment, and stop allowing difficult people to take up so much space in their lives.

My approach is still pretty simple:

I don’t sugarcoat. I don’t chit chat. And I don’t suffer fools.

But I do love deeply. And I’ll always tell you the truth—even when it’s not the answer you were hoping for.

What’s in my heart?

I believe God has used both what I’ve studied and what I’ve lived to prepare me for the work I do today.

And if there’s one thing I want you to know, it’s this:

You don’t have to spend the rest of your life trying to figure out difficult people, fixing what they refuse to fix, or questioning yourself every time someone doesn’t like your boundaries.

You’re in the right place if…

You love God, but you’re confused about what He actually expects from you in a toxic relationship.

You replay conversations, second-guess your decisions, and spend far too much time wondering what you should have said or done differently.

You know something is unhealthy, but guilt keeps pulling you back into the same patterns.

You’ve set boundaries—but you’re still struggling with the reactions that come when you actually hold them.

You spend far too much time trying to understand why someone does what they do and wondering if there’s something you could do differently.

I won’t promise you that difficult people will change.

But I will help you get clearer about what’s happening, stronger in what you know, and wiser about what you do next.



What You’ll Get

Biblical wisdom without the fluff. Practical guidance you can actually use. And the kind of honesty that may occasionally kick you in the pants—but will never leave you wondering what I really think.

You’ll also get a healthy dose of dry humor, because sometimes the things we go through are so ridiculous you have to laugh.

Whether you find me through my books, videos, courses, or speaking, you can expect me to help you think differently—not just feel better for the moment.

I want you to leave stronger in your faith, wiser in your relationships, and far less easily manipulated than when you arrived.

What You Won’t Get

I love God with all my heart, but you won’t get perfection from me. I don’t have it, I don’t expect it from you, and I’m suspicious of anyone pretending they do.

You also won’t get fake smiles, sweet little lies, or advice designed to tell you what you want to hear.

I’ll tell you the truth—even when it stings. I’ll challenge you to look at yourself, not just the difficult people in your life. And I’ll never pretend to have all the answers.

But I will keep pointing you back to the One who does.