What Shocked Me About Being a Step Mom

Being a stepmom is not an easy job. Many times it is thankless, emotionally draining and time zapping. You work so hard to help these children navigate through the difficulties of their situation, and then they forget about you.

Everyone likes to be appreciated, but if you NEED to appreciated; being a stepmom is not for you.

What shocked me most about being a stepmom was the children’s allegiance to their biological mother, despite how badly she behaved. Trust me, I’m not just talking a difference of opinion or personalities. I am talking about a woman who so maliciously does everything she can to get back at my husband, despite the fact that she stole money and cheated in their marriage. Her anger is covered in a façade of PTA meetings, fake smiles and heavily orchestrated sleepovers.

Deep inside, she HATES (I can’t emphasize this word enough) the fact that the children love their father. This also shocked me. This despite the fact that he is a great man who has overcome many problems from his past. And despite the fact that all statistics show that bashing your ex to your kids has a negative effect on the children. She continually puts them in the middle of situations that they should NEVER be privy to.

Any time my husband tried to initiate a visit with the kids, the cat claws came out. Although the claws were never in plain view, they were disguised behind manipulative comments to the children such as, “I just fear for your safety,” and “He’s just going to leave you.”

What kind of woman does this to her children? A woman who is controlled by Satan. Many people say to me, “Kris, you must want to strangle this woman.” My answer is “No, I actually feel for her. Because behind the manipulative tactics, the ugly rumors and the jealous motives there is a little girl who never grew up and never got healing.”

But I also get angry. Angry that these children are left feeling confused. Confused about why mom says one thing but does another. Confused about whether or not to believe her about all the horrible things she says about Dad. And now confused about life in general.

How someone could put her children directly in harm’s way with her words and actions shocked me.

So what do you do, when evil looks like it’s prevailing and there are young souls suffering?

You pray.

I know that sounds like a sissy response to all you fighters out there, but there is power in your prayer. When you use prayer, you invoke the powerful name of Jesus. When you do that, demons have to flee or they have to bow down, because nothing is more powerful than the name of Jesus. You may not see much evidence in the physical world right away, but know with all certainty that God is working on your behalf and in my case, my stepchildren’s behalf as well, to bring justice to the situation.


You can also use warfare. Where prayer is a petition to God, warfare is the fight against Satan and his attacks. Satan uses people to attempt to thwart God’s plan and because there are people in this world who are blind and foolish; they don’t even realize they are a puppet for him. They go about doing his bidding and think they are in control of their lives. You can stand in the gap! By using the power that you have in the name of Jesus, you can command Satan to cease using these people to further his efforts.

For those who are unfamiliar with warfare, it is an authoritative demand to Satan.  While, yes, others have free will, you can say this to your enemy:  Satan, I demand that you cease all of your tactics against my children through the use of this woman in Jesus’ name.  I demand that you loose their minds to loose your control over them and her.

You may say, Kris that is ridiculously simple, yes it is.  That’s the power we have in the name of Jesus.  Demons have to flee.  Just remember, you can undo what you say but speaking contrary to God’s word.  If God said He will avenge you of your adversary, don’t go around speaking words contrary to that.  Satan can smell doubt from mile away!

Whatever you do, don’t think there’s nothing you can do to improve the situation. By calling on God and and by directly addressing the attacks, you can get the enemy to stand down and goodness to prevail.

By Kris Reece, Counselor, Coach, Speaker

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