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How Can I Fulfill My Purpose If My Husband Isn’t On Board?

I have spent a good part of my life searching for meaning—and for a lot of it, I was not finding anything meaningful. In fact, I spent most of the first half of my life chasing “things” and not living for a greater purpose. So when I discovered that I was called to do greater things than just accumulate wealth and plan my next vacation, I felt renewed. For the first time, my life had meaning.


Many women can relate to my story. That’s because so many of us have wasted precious time pursuing things with no purpose. It gets old. For many, the thought of following a higher calling is alluring. When they realize that God has called them to a greater purpose, the excitement is almost unbearable.

But what happens when the very people you want to journey with are not with you? What happens when you journey through self-discovery, only to find that your husband is in complete disagreement over where you are headed?

You wonder, did I hear wrong from God? Or perhaps it raises a righteous indignation in you that begins to pull the two of you apart.

Since women are called to submit to our husbands as leaders of the home, does this mean that we succumb to a life of drudgery and give up on our purpose? Since we are called to respect our husbands, does this mean that we hang up our God-given talents and surrender? Or, does it mean that we walk away from our lives and families in pursuit of God?

While it is tempting to pack your bags and move forward or give up in defeat, there is a better way. In fact, there are three ways that you can stay on track with your purpose, even if your spouse is in complete opposition:

  1. Rely on faith. In other words, keep on keeping on. Just because your husband said he doesn’t agree with what you’re doing or what you’re called to do, that doesn’t mean that God cannot work in his heart. Trust that if God has called you, than He has equipped you with everything you need to succeed, and His timing is perfect.
  2. Keep the right heart. It’s easy to get a bad attitude when things aren’t going your way. You can develop a hardened heart if you believe you are being blocked from doing what God is calling you to do. That attitude can permeate your marriage and dissolve any chances of winning your husband over.  Remember, your ministry begins at home.
  3. Play your part. Just because you don’t have complete agreement from your spouse right now, it doesn’t mean that God isn’t at work. Allow God to use this time to mold you—to change your heart and prepare you in whatever way He needs so that you can be ready for that season when it comes along.  And it will.

Getting marching orders from God is both scary and exciting. However, the last thing you want is to do is to spend your time complaining that your husband isn’t not with you and developing a poor attitude.

Instead, do whatever you are capable of doing in this season of your life. God knows what you are up against, so remember that He is fighting for you.

Do what you can do and trust God to do the rest.

By: Kris Reece, Counselor, Coach, Speaker