You Were Never Meant to Fit In

Growing up, I desperately wanted to be accepted, so I would become whatever anyone needed me to be. All I ever wanted in life was to fit in and I thought that if I looked better, acted a certain way, or gave in to things I didn’t believe in, I would finally be included.

But I always struggled with a nagging sense that I had greater purpose in life. I knew there was something in me; the problem was I relied on others to discover it.

I spent my entire childhood and a good part of my adult life trying to fit in. Even when I was well into my 30s I felt I had to drive a particular model car, live in a certain size house, and wear designer clothes in order to be successful. Then one day it hit me: I was still doing it. I was still trying to fit in.

I had had enough. I longed to live a life of power and purpose but I was confusing purpose with fitting in.

But what do you do when you never fit in? When no matter what you do or where you go, you feel excluded? Maybe you’re like me and you put on a mask to pretend to be something you’re not, or perhaps you settle for less.

Once I realized that all my efforts to fit in were just getting me exhausted and connected to people I didn’t even like, I knew I needed to break free.

But what came next was not what I expected. My marriage ended. My friendships ended. And I was all alone.

You may fear the same thing. But can I tell you that if you look beyond the loneliness and fear, you will discover something.

You were never meant to fit in!

I discovered that people who don’t fit in were created for a very unique purpose.

It is the searching that strengthens you.

It is the searching that empowers you.

It is the searching enables you to grow.

While others are trying to live up to someone else’s expectations, you are in a unique position to do something life changing.

I wish I could leap through this screen and help you see that if you’ve never quite fit in, it’s because you weren’t meant to. You were intended to stand out.

I want to encourage you today to stop crying over that lost relationship. To stop trying to mold yourself to a job that wasn’t designed for you, and to stop basing your happiness on someone else’s approval. You will likely never succeed in any of those pursuits.

To this day, I still don’t quite fit in and I’m guessing you don’t either… and that’s more than OK. It’s God’s plan.


3 replies
  1. Debra
    Debra says:

    So true! I have always been a bit of a loner… my BFF is God, that is who I want to spend my time with, He is my first priority. And He has a plan for me, just as I am, or as He is molding me. Thank you so much for putting it in such an acceptable and understandable way. Always enjoy your posts. Many Thanks! 8)

  2. sherrie howard
    sherrie howard says:

    This really spoke to me because I am at that point of my life. I know I never fit in, I even try to “fit in” with Christians but still stand out. I don’t want to isolate myself but then I know I shouldn’t lean on people to build my confidence. Prayers needed as I continue this journey of discovery of my identity and growth in Christ.

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