Emotional dependency is when the ongoing presence or nurturing of another is believed necessary for your personal security. It’s when your happiness is based upon someone else or the relationship’s success. We can even mistake feelings of emotional dependency for love. When there is a secure attachment developed in childhood, we are better equipped to have healthy relationships with others and with God, but in the cases of insecure attachments, the struggle is often exhibited through performance. When your worth hinges on others, you can easily slip into emotional dependency. Emotional dependency can be on just about anybody; anyone that you put in the place of God. This dependency can become an emotional crutch for you, but God calls us to be in a relationship and calls us to have healthy interdependence on others.
Let’s go over the 18 signs that you are emotionally dependent on people.
- Security. Do you struggle with your worth and identity?
- Attention-Seeking. Do you get jealous? If you are not the focus of their attention?
- Unsure of Yourself. Do you frequently? Doubt yourself, your desires, your goals, your decisions?
- Unable to Be Alone. Do you struggle to enjoy frequent quality alone time without this person?
- Need For Approval.
- Tolerating Toxic Behavior.
- Indecisiveness. Do you have trouble making even the smallest decisions, usually out of a fear of displeasing the other person?
- Low Self-Esteem and Self-Worth. Do you question your identity in Christ?
- Critical of Self and Others.
- Frequently Anxious. Do you often feel physical or emotional? Anguish? Are you unable to relax?
- Jealousy and Trust Issues.
- Fearful. Are your actions driven by fear, fear of rejection, confrontation, or loss?
- Self Punishing. Do you beat yourself up when your needs aren’t met?
- Plays the Victim.
- Poor Communication.
- Constant Need for Reassurance. Are you frequently checking in with the other person to be sure that they’re okay so that you can feel okay?
- Manipulative. Do you often feel the need to control others? This is more often in a passive manner, through guilt.
- Overthinking.
Anyone can struggle with these traits from time to time, but an emotionally dependent or needy person will display these traits with much more frequency than on occasion. It’s not hard to fall into the emotional dependency trap. There is no one my friend that could possibly meet your needs for love and approval. God wants to be your all in all. Will you let him?
There are some serious dangers remaining in an emotionally dependent state. It makes you prone to manipulation, blocks your ability to hear from God, and you may not reach your full potential in life. God is our source, and people are a resource.
Remember, all things are possible with God.
Thank you for reading and until next time friends.
