7 Signs that God is Trying to Break You of a Victim Mentality
Have you ever felt like your good intentions were just misunderstood? You feel like you’re always under attack and not able to move forward in life, no matter how hard you try. The way you perceive your situation can actually be the difference between victimhood and victory. One of the things that God wants us to be aware of is to avoid having a victim mentality. A victim mentality takes the negative experiences of our past and unites them with our identity. However, there is a big difference between actually being a victim and acting like you’re a victim. People can be innocent victims. But, we just need to be aware of that shift into adopting a victim mentality.
Today, I want to share with you the 7 signs that you have a victim mentality.
1 – You often feel stuck and powerless.
When we adopt the same, “I’m powerless” mindset over our lives, we actually believe the lie, that we have no personal responsibility, for any of our next steps. We want someone to come and give you what you need to get unstuck. At some point, we have to take the steps forward. We should be internally working through our stuff to get unstuck. 2nd Peter, 1:3 reminds us that His divine power has given us everything that we need for a Godly life, through our knowledge of Him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
2 – Your words are negative.
Have you ever tried to encourage someone who has negative thinking, they always seem to have a problem with your solutions? It’s exhausting! So, naturally, you give up, and rightfully so. Notice people around you; they are actually avoiding you and it’s likely because they are absolutely exhausted, and they have no interest anymore in rescuing you. A victim mindset will also now use this perceived abandonment as a further justification to remain negative about their life. Matthew 12:36 hits us hard saying, “I tell you on the day of judgment people will give an account for every careless word.”
3 – You feel entitled.
If you feel like others owe you something, because you have suffered more than someone else or that somebody else should be giving to you because you have less than they do, you certainly feel entitled. 2nd Thessalonians 3:10 gives us this reminder by saying “If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat”. We are called to do what we can with what we’ve got.
4 – You procrastinate.
Procrastinators put things off. They wait for just the right time, the right situation. Often times procrastination is really just a beautiful wrapping of laziness. It’s an indirect way of saying that, “unless I know that the little effort that I’m willing to put in, is going to produce me grand results, I won’t bother trying.” The truth is, God is not going to bless laziness. Proverbs 13:4 tells us that the soul of a sluggard craves and gets nothing while the soul of the diligent is rich. We need to take whatever baby steps that need to be taken.
5 – You always feel attacked.
People with a victim mindset often say that the enemy is always attacking them. When you start to see everything that’s happening in your life as a result of the enemy’s wickedness, you are exalting his power over God’s. The truth is, the enemy is not everywhere. He’s very limited in his resources. 1st, John 4:4, says “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them. Because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”
6 – Everyone knows your story.
If you are the type that is constantly replaying those same, painful stories of your past, with little to no growth, you are using your past circumstances to now justify your current in-action. It’s the same story with no action and no desire to change. The truth is, we have to see ourselves in light of God’s word, not our story, but we don’t always have a choice over what happens to us. We do have a choice as to how we’re going to view it and how we are going to move forward.
7 – You are unteachable.
Do you struggle to take constructive criticism and even suggestions? Do you find that you like it when people encourage you but then you do nothing with it? If you are the type of person that is constantly going for all of that support and there’s no growth, no movement, it’s likely that you are struggling with being unteachable. Proverbs 12:1 hits us really hard with this; “whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.” You cannot live a victorious life with a victim mindset.
You can live a responsibility-free life, but the price you pay is that it doesn’t get to be meaningful. Regardless of the hand that we’ve been dealt, or the circumstances that we’ve endured, we each have a choice every single day to stand up and leave anyway.
Curious about your thoughts? Take our How Toxic Are My Thoughts Quiz.