Why is it that some Christians are able to move on from toxic relationships while others stay stuck in their hurt feelings?
Maybe you’ve suffered so long, you don’t even know what happiness feels like anymore.
Before you go thinking that God’s forgotten you (or worse, getting angry at Him), I want to break down for you three very powerful reasons why this hurt feelings may be lingering more than you’d like,
AND the prayer that could change EVERYTHING.
To do that I need to remind you what happens when you touch a hot iron. You may cringe at the thought because you know how much it hurts. But how do you know it hurts? Well if you’re as stubborn and stupid as me, it’s likely because you HAVE touched one of these at some point in your life. (Despite how many times your mamma told you not to.) And once you did, the pain was excruciating. Maybe you even needed to go to the hospital. And I’m going to take a wild guess and you never did that again.
The same is true for toxic relationships. We enter into them, ignoring the red flags, and then we slide right into the sizzle.
Here are the 3 Reasons God isn’t removing your hurt feelings:
Reason #1: God wants to make sure you learn
What do you think would happen if God just took those feelings away, erased them from your memory, and wiped them from your emotional hard drive? You’d enter into a toxic relationship again because you’d have no memory of how painful it was.
So yes, God will allow these feelings to linger to teach you. I’m not saying that what that person did to you was OK, or even excusable. Ignoring this valuable insight is like being offered a ride in a luxury SUV but choosing a piggyback ride instead.
Reason #2: You’re trying to stay in the driver’s seat
Even with these valuable lessons learned, missing what I’m about to share could cause you—as it would most Christians—to backslide during a difficult time.
If you’re like me, you use your GPS for everything, even when you know exactly where to go and how to get there.
And again, if you’re anything like me if your GPS tells you to go a way that differs from where YOU think you should go, you ignore it. (I told you I wasn’t smart.)
And what happens? More often than not you’re stopped by a traffic jam or worse. That’s because the GPS knows the roadblocks and delays you can run into.
Your hurt feelings are the roadblocks and God is your GPS.
God doesn’t always remove the roadblocks because they actually serve His purpose. Just like his purpose for the Israelites in the Red Sea and the wilderness wasn’t to harm them but rather draw them closer to HIM.
Could it be that God wants to be your guiding light on this journey of healing? My friend, don’t miss an amazing relationship opportunity because you’re upset that he’s not teleporting you to your next destination.
Reason #3: God wants you for His purpose
You may be saying, “Kris, that’s great. I’ve learned my lesson and I’ve made my way back to God. But what’s the point in keeping me in pain for so long?”
That question can best be answered by Sam’s example. Sam was a trainer I hired when I had my old personal training business.
Sam was highly educated. She graduated at the top of her class in biomechanics and she could tell you about anything that had to do with anatomy, from the function of the hip flexors in relation to the knee upon deceleration to the distal insertion point of the femur.
There was only one problem: Sam had zero life experience. She couldn’t relate to our clients who came to us wanting to get rid of their dad guts or grandma arms, so her education meant nothing to them.
They wanted someone who could get them results but also empathize with their struggle. And to empathize, you have to understand. And for many of us—me included (Me – raise hand)—we often have to experience it to understand it.
So is it possible that you’ve had to go through what you’ve endured because God wants to use you?
Let’s face it, this blog is one of your favorites (I hope) because I understand what you’re going through, and we both share the same desire to work through toxic nonsense with biblical truth.
I’ve been there. I got the T-shirt and went back for seconds.
So you’re here because not only did I walk this journey, but I walked it with God and I came out (and am still coming out) on the other side, exactly where you want to be.
Who knows, you could be to someone else, what I am to you right now.
I get what you’re going through and it hurts me to see you stuck. That’s why I want to share with you the prayer that changed everything for me.
When I was stuck in the muck of my hurt feelings, I stopped begging God to take it away and I prayed this instead:
“God let these lessons not be wasted and use this pain for your purpose.”
Now that you know the reasons why God may be letting your feelings linger, it’s time to understand God’s plan after a toxic relationship. To learn more about the 3 steps in God’s relationship detox, watch this episode next.
Also, be sure to grab your FREE Toxic People Survival Guide right here.