Over the years I’ve made mistakes that I realized (in hindsight of course) actually strengthened narcissistic tactics of manipulation and helped the narcissists in my life become better narcissists.
My friends, I want you to learn from the mistakes I’ve made so that you can STOP giving these narcissists the ammunition they need to manipulate you. I want to provide you with actionable ways to avoid narcissist manipulation, strategies to stop narcissistic abuse in its tracks, and the necessary steps to break free from a narcissist so that you can begin to build Christlike confidence despite the toxic opinions holding you back.
Here are 3 Mistakes To Avoid Making To Release Yourself From Narcissistic Tactics of Manipulation
Mistake #1: Over-Explaining
One of the biggest mistakes I made when dealing with a narcissist actually came pretty early on in my boundary-journey. I knew I needed to set limits, but what I didn’t realize was my need to be liked. I made the mistake of over-explaining, and not only did this waste my precious time and energy on someone who simply didn’t care to understand, but it actually did something far worse.
My over-explaining gave the narcissist insight into my vulnerability.
When I would share why I couldn’t do something in hopes that they would get it, I was instead met with solutions for my problems. But these “solutions” were designed to help the narcissist get what they wanted, not what I needed. Over-explaining actually gives the narcissist power by giving them something to respond to.
If you feel compelled to over-explain then try this: simply repeat what you just said. Scale WAY back on your sentences, because, guess what? You do not owe them an explanation. Give the narcissist zero oxygen for arguing. Snuff them out.
Mistake #2: Over-Sharing
This one’s going to sound an awful lot like mistake #1, but hang with me. In the past, when dealing with narcissists I would tell them what they were doing wrong and what they could do better, but what I didn’t realize was that I was only FUELING their deceit.
Basically, I was teaching them better ways to lie.
By over-sharing, all you’re doing is opening yourself up to a labyrinth of lies. You might be confused and saying to yourself that you can’t always be the problem…but then there’s another, automatic default, part of you who’s full of second guesses. You’re going to need to learn how to bolster yourself against narcissistic tactics of manipulation, my friends. And that brings us to mistake #3.
Mistake #3: Undervaluing
Before I explain what I mean by this, you need to understand something. I never fell for the overt narcissist. To me, they were obvious and repulsive. But I DID frequently fall for the covert narcissist. Covert narcissists are the worst because they pretend like they’re trying to work it out with you. But that’s just it – they’re pretending. They pretend to want the same thing as you. They act like they’re engaged in the conversation. They act like they want resolve, but covert narcissists know only two ways to operate: self-protection and victimhood.
I want you to get better at identifying the narcissists in your life as well as how to protect yourself when you do identify them. Because there’s the thing – I don’t want you to stop being a giving person, but I do want you to be able to clearly see when you’re being taken advantage of. The worst thing that could happen is that you’ll shut down your god-given traits that probably bring you tremendous joy.
I want you to stop undervaluing yourself by becoming better at discerning who in your life is worthy of your time, love, and attention…and who is NOT.
It’s my hope that you will begin to see the precious worth of our Lord Jesus Christ and of YOU, as his unique creation. You were created with purpose and intention. You are here for a reason, and that reason will only become clearer to you the more you weed toxic people out of your life.
If you need more help with this, then I want you to download my FREE Survival Guide for dealing with toxic people. This guide will teach you how to BREAK FREE from narcissistic tactics of manipulation using key biblical confidence-building principles.
