Secret Ways Wise Christians Respond to Narcissists

Have you ever struggled to balance showing Christ-like love while protecting yourself from the manipulative people in your life?

Maybe you’re feeling guilty about wanting to distance yourself from the narcissist but worried you may be giving up too soon or, worse, not showing enough ‘grace’.

How much toxic behavior is a Christian supposed to tolerate?

Today, I want to share with you exactly how a true Bible-believing Christian would and should respond to narcissist manipulation tactics. My friend, get ready because these traits will leave you feeling empowered to effectively deal with the mental and emotional hijackers in your life—without feeling like a doormat, stuffing your emotions, or enabling more toxic behavior.

Divine Strategies and Scriptures

To do that, I want to share with you the divine strategies that Christians possess to ensure they handle narcissist manipulation tactics like Jesus did, and the 5 scriptures that prove you don’t have to be a doormat to be Christ-like.

Narcissists as Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing

Narcissists are like wolves in sheep’s clothing, preying on the goodness and vulnerability of others, sowing seeds of chaos, and then pointing fingers at you for the ensuing storm. A Christian firm in their faith is like a lighthouse standing strong amid the turbulent seas of narcissistic storms. And believe me, my friend, they rage EVERYWHERE. Though the seas storm, these Christians remain a force to be reckoned with. Without this foundation, many are left like an anchor-less boat with no sails, repeatedly battered by the relentless waves of manipulation and chaos.

Here are the Qualities of Wise Christians for Dealing with Narcissist Manipulation Tactics:

Quality #1: Love and Boundaries

This quality is the foundation of all Christ-like interactions. And I know what you’re thinking… It’s love… it’s not love… okay, it’s love. But not “love” in the way you’ve been manipulated to believe. The love I’m talking about speaks the truth in a kind-hearted manner but does not allow others to continue to violate them.

Love and Boundaries:

  • I can love you and still not allow you to abuse me.
  • I can love you and still call out your sin.
  • I can love you and still report you to the authorities.
  • I can love you and still file for a separation.

Biblical love DOES NOT mean enablement. In 1 Corinthians 5, the apostle Paul was writing to the church in Corinth about a man who had been sleeping with his stepmother. And here’s what Paul said, “Put him out from among you. Hand him over to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.” He didn’t say, “Oh, just love on him, and he’ll come to himself.” He didn’t say, “Oh, he who is without sin, cast the first stone.” He didn’t start a support group. He said, “Get him out.” He wants this demonic life… give it to him. Hopefully, when Satan has his hands fully on him, he’ll come to himself and turn his life back to the Lord.

We have a terrible misconception that to be a ‘good’ Christian means we need to be soft on sin. We have to ‘accept’ and ‘tolerate’ bad behavior… all in the name of ‘love’. But true Christians know that sometimes the most loving thing you can do is let toxic people suffer their own consequences. True Christians know that Jesus never enabled toxic people, and neither should we.

Quality #2: Integrity

This quality is essential for withstanding the stormy seas of narcissistic manipulation, gaslighting, and overall game playing. Responding to a narcissist’s manipulation can take a toll on your sense of peace and self-esteem. If you’re not standing firm, it’s only a matter of time before a wave takes you out.

But true Christians recognize that narcissists are just pawns in Satan’s schemes. Instead of caving into conformity or buckling under false accusations, they stand firm on Romans 12:21: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

True Christians maintain their integrity by not exchanging evil for evil. They don’t respond defensively, they don’t go tit for tat, and they don’t allow their self-worth to be eroded by narcissistic lies. They confront sin with truth and do so ‘in love’, without malice. Just because a Christian doesn’t have malice in their heart doesn’t mean they tolerate toxic behavior. They don’t believe it is their responsibility to fix, change, or save the narcissist.

Quality #3: Forgiveness

This is a quality that true Christians have down to a science. They may not want to do it, but they know this one trait sets them free every single time.

Matthew 6:15: “But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

A true Christian is not going to hinder their own prayers because of bitterness. They will forgive. They know that unforgiveness is like drinking poison, hoping the other person will die. It’s unproductive and deadly. But they also don’t have the misconception that forgiveness equals trust or reconciliation.

Quality #4: Peace

When it comes to narcissists, true Christians operate in peace. They operate in the peace that God will fight their battles, take vengeance, and bring justice. When you know this in your heart, there’s a peace that dwells within you that you just can’t explain.

Romans 12:18: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

True Christians don’t confuse peace with passivity or appeasement. They do all they can and no more. They are not codependent on narcissists’ toxic behavior.

Quality #5: Wisdom

True Christians use wisdom even when their feelings are flying. They use this wisdom to override any false feelings or deceptive strategies. Proverbs 22:3: “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.”

Through wisdom, a true Christian avoids every pitfall and yields to every red flag. Matthew 10:14: “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.” James 1:5: “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

None of this matters one bit if you feel stuck in the injustice of narcissist manipulation tactics and evil behavior. To learn what God will do to the narcissist when He’s had enough, be sure to check out this episode here.

Be sure to grab your FREE Narcissist Survival Guide to start your journey back to peace.

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