If you’ve been in or just left a relationship with a narcissist, you know how distressing and destabilizing it can be.

Constantly questioning yourself, struggling to defend against their vicious, victim-like lies—it’s enough to make anyone furious.

The temptation to seek justice on your terms is real. You want to call them out, tell them off, and dismantle every lie they’ve told—anything to get revenge for the harm they’ve caused.

But HOLD ON. 

What if I told you that there’s a way to achieve far greater justice than you ever could on your own—and that it would bring you peace?

Stay with me.

In this post, we will talk about why taking revenge isn’t the answer—and what God wants you to do instead.

Trust me, their downfall is coming, and you’ll have a front-row seat to witness the justice of God.

I recently went through a narcissistic attack from someone who was spiteful, vindictive, and deceitful.

The lies, manipulation, and malice were worse than ever before. And for the first time, I was the direct target of their abuse.

I’ll admit, my flesh rose. I wanted to tell them off, expose their lies, and undo the damage they caused. 

But something in my spirit told me to hold on—to ask, What would God want me to do?

As I cried out to God for strength, I heard Him speak clearly to my heart: Put your armor on. Therein lies your strength.

It stopped me in my tracks.

At that moment, I pictured Jesus standing in front of me, shielding me from the enemy’s attacks. I saw this powerful shield protecting me from every dart the enemy threw, while the Lord held back the forces of darkness. It brought me to tears.

Then I was reminded of Ephesians 6:12: “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”

Through this experience, I realized the power of trusting the justice of God over my desire for revenge.

The Real Enemy Behind Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissists are often used as agents of the enemy, though they likely don’t even realize it. They’re sent to trigger and trip us up, causing us to react in the flesh.

Now, I’m not excusing their behavior—they are still responsible for their actions. But their willingness to hurt others makes them a tool for evil.

So, what do we do?

Should we just give up, roll over, and let them walk all over us?

Absolutely not.

We prepare for battle. This is spiritual warfare.

Spiritual warfare is the fight to believe God’s truth over the enemy’s lies.

When dealing with a narcissist, you’re battling deception.

The enemy attacks through lies and one of his favorite portals is toxic people—those who come in like sheep but are wolves.

But here’s the good news: the justice of God prevails, even when the lies and manipulation feel overwhelming.

The Justice of God: Your Protection Against Narcissistic Manipulation

The Bible tells us to put on the full armor of God so we can stand firm against the enemy’s schemes (Ephesians 6:10-13). Each piece of armor was designed to protect us in battles like this.

• The Belt of Truth – This exposes the lies of the narcissist. It grounds us in God’s truth, helping us see through their manipulations.
• The Body Armor of Righteousness – This protects our hearts. When we live in righteousness, we guard ourselves from reacting out of hurt or manipulation.
• The Shoes of Peace – These keep us grounded in the peace of God’s salvation, no matter the chaos around us. We can remain calm and secure in His love, unswayed by the narcissist’s emotional tactics.
• The Shield of Faith – This shields us from the narcissist’s lies. We stand firm in God’s promises, trusting His truth over the enemy’s deception.
• The Helmet of Salvation – This guards our minds, protecting us from the toxic narratives the narcissist tries to plant. It reminds us of our identity in Christ, not the identity the narcissist tries to impose on us.
• The Sword of the Spirit – This is the Word of God, our weapon in spiritual warfare. With it, we cut through the narcissist’s lies and manipulation, standing firm in righteousness.

Offense and Defense in Spiritual Warfare

The armor of God equips us not only to defend ourselves but to fight back. 

The belt, breastplate, shoes, shield, and helmet protect us. But the sword of the Spirit—God’s Word—is our offensive weapon.

With it, we destroy the lies of the enemy. It allows us to fight back against narcissistic deception with the truth of God’s Word.

Want real power? Use the sword of the Spirit and the shield of faith together. With one, you defend yourself; with the other, you strike down the lies.

Spiritual Warfare: Taking the Battle to the Spirit Realm

Narcissists are masters of manipulation.

They spend their lives perfecting the art of deceit, using it to get what they want without vulnerability.

You can’t fight them on their playing field.

The real battle is in the spirit realm, where the enemy works to deceive and manipulate through toxic people.

Narcissists will deceive you into thinking you’re loved, so you let your guard down.

They’ll make you feel responsible for all the relationship problems, so you conform and concede.

And when they discard you, they’ll make you believe it’s your fault, leaving you a shell of who you used to be.

So be careful, my friend.  If you don’t suit up, you’ll get chewed up.

Rest in God’s Promises

When faced with these attacks, it’s easy to want to retaliate in the flesh. But I encourage you to close your eyes and picture God’s shield around you, protecting you from every attack.

With that shield, stand firm—girded with the belt of truth, wearing the body armor of righteousness, grounded in the shoes of peace, holding the shield of faith, and crowned with the helmet of salvation. In your hand, carry the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.

When your mind screams for revenge, remember Romans 12:19: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

You can rest in God’s promises. Release the desire for revenge. Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord. He’s got your back, your front, and your side. He holds your victory.

Will you trust Him?

What’s Next?

Still, wondering what God will do when He’s had enough of the narcissist’s schemes? Be sure to check out the next episode to find out.

Don’t forget to grab a copy of your FREE Narcissist Survival Guide to help you stand firm in the face of toxic relationships and walk in the justice of God.