Have you ever felt unbelievably drained, anxious, or even under attack, no matter how much you pray or try to set boundaries with someone in your life? It’s so bad that you even start to wonder, “Is there something darker going on?” Well, you’re not alone and you’re not crazy. What if the exhaustion, the confusion, and the constant self-doubt you’re feeling aren’t just emotional, but actually have demonic roots?

In today’s episode, I am going to pull back the curtain on the pattern most people never see coming. I’m bringing together powerful teachings to help you identify the hidden tactics that I see over and over again in toxic relationships where demons love to work through narcissists to keep you spiritually stuck, second-guessing yourself, and powerless. My friend, you’re going to learn what each tactic looks like and how to recognize it before it wrecks you.

Part 1 – When the Devil Can’t Get to You, He’ll Send a Narcissist and Use These 6 Tactics to Destroy You

I want you to think of the tactics that the devil uses through the narcissist like an elaborate maze, but not one of those fun mazes that come with a map. No, I’m talking about an elaborate, creepy maze specifically designed to keep you trapped. Each turn is designed to make you feel like you’re getting closer to your dream relationship, but in reality, it’s taking you further and further from the truth, until one day you’ve reached the point where you have no idea where or who you are.

Sign #1 That the Narcissist is Trying to Destroy You – The Trap of Confusion and Doubt

The first tactic that the enemy uses to trap you often feels deceptively comfortable at first, maybe even familiar. It’s kind of like something from your family of origin or something you’ve always dreamed of. But as time passes, you realize you’re drifting further and further from the clarity you thought you had. You are lost in a maze where every path feels like a dead end, and you start retracing your steps, second-guessing yourself, over-explaining, and believing that if you could just say it better, things would improve. But the truth is, you have been pulled into the trap of confusion and doubt.

Narcissists are masters at gaslighting, twisting the truth, and making you question your reality. And this confusion isn’t accidental; it’s intentional. It’s designed to create self-doubt and keep you dependent on the narcissist for answers and validation. The enemy thrives in chaos and confusion, and if you’ve noticed, so does the narcissist. When the enemy operates through the narcissist, it weakens your confidence, clouds your judgment, and makes you doubt your ability to discern right from wrong.

Confusion and doubt are one of the enemy’s most effective weapons, and it is crucial to recognize it for what it is. It is a deliberate strategy to keep you trapped in that maze. It’s in those moments where you need to take a step back and remember 1 Corinthians 14:33,

“For God is not a God of confusion, but of peace.”

Sign #2 That the Narcissist is Trying to Destroy You – Your Emotional Wounds

Now, if confusion makes you question your reality, what happens when the pain from your past keeps dragging you back into survival mode? Well, the enemy’s next tactic through the narcissist can best be described as a wound that never quite heals.

I want you to imagine walking through the maze that we talked about, and suddenly you trip over a hidden trap, one that you’ve encountered before, and that pain feels familiar, like an old injury being reopened, but instead of moving forward, you’re stuck now trying to deal with the fresh pain. And this is how the enemy works, using the narcissist to trigger your emotional wounds, keeping you focused on your pain rather than the path out of the chaos. And his goal is to keep you stuck spinning in circles.

Narcissists like to seek out your deepest vulnerabilities, the wounds that you thought were healed, and then reopen them. They push just the right buttons to make you relive past rejections, betrayals, or insecurities, or they use things against you to make themselves look like a victim. You think you’re reacting out of a present problem, but you’re actually reacting out of old pain, and it leaves you looking like the problem.

This keeps you in survival mode, focused on explaining yourself, apologizing for things that you didn’t do. And the emotional chaos begins to cloud your perspective, making it very difficult to see the truth, and the enemy uses this distraction to keep your eyes off of pleasing God and on to trying to please the narcissist. And once that wound is reopened, they will poke at it, pour salt in it, anything they can do to irritate it, because you’re now back under their control. But just in case you’ve taken their poisonous bait, here’s the antidote. Psalm 147:3 says,

“He heals the brokenhearted, and he binds up their wounds.”

Healing starts when you take your focus off the narcissist and their chaos and turn to God, who is the only one who is going to bring peace in the deepest pain.

Sign #3 That the Narcissist is Trying to Destroy You – Bitterness & Resentment

So if the enemy can’t use the narcissist to get through your doubts and triggers, he will most definitely use this next tactic. And it’s an easy one to use because of how the narcissist treats you. In fact, it’s almost baked into every narcissistic relationship. It’s the thorny vines that are growing over the exit, the ones that block you when you think you’re about to find your way out, and it’s tempting to give up and stay stuck in that maze once you hit those thorny vines of bitterness and resentment – sign #3.

That is the trap that the enemy is using to imprison you in the maze of your own making. This tactic is like a set-it-and-forget-it for the enemy, as he will use the narcissist to keep you in a perpetual state of “forgiveness,” just to have some sort of peace in the relationship. But because the hurts and the injuries are fast and furious and never-ending, before you know it, it’s a small step from survival mode to bitterness and unforgiveness. So, left unchecked, you think you’re guarding your heart, while in the background, Satan is actually hardening your heart, creating a barrier between you and God’s grace.

Sign #4 That the Narcissist is Trying to Destroy You – Attack Your Faith

And just when you think you’ve dealt with the bitterness and the resentment, the enemy will use the narcissist to send you mixed signals. It’s like being in a maze trying to find your way out, but you’re following deceptive signs pointing you in the wrong direction. So you follow these signs, thinking that God is leading you in the right direction, only to hit yet another harmful dead end, which then makes it almost effortless for the enemy to launch a full-on attack on your faith.

Yes, that is essentially what the enemy is after, and the narcissist is simply a tool to deceive and derail your faith. “If God was so good, why would you be in this mess?” “If God was for you, wouldn’t you have been able to get out?” “If God was defending you, why are you always hurt?” The attacks turn into full-on assaults until you are left with nothing but lukewarm faith.

And the narcissist may overtly plant seeds of spiritual confusion, intentionally leading you down a wrong path, or they may covertly distort scripture to suit their own agenda and even pretend to walk this faith journey with you, only to leave you as spiritually bankrupt as they are.

Sign #5 That the Narcissist is Trying to Destroy You – Isolate You

And if trapping you behind a wall of thorns and doubting your faith isn’t bad enough, here’s where the enemy seeks to set you up for the ultimate takedown. He will erect walls so high in the already mind-spinning maze that you can’t even cry for help. And this is where the enemy will use the narcissist to isolate you from support. Friends, counselors, and pastors are all going to get an earful of just how crazy, how unsubmissive and controlling, how disturbed, and maybe even how evil and narcissistic you are. You name it, they will first cut off your support by being your everything. They’ll make you believe that it’s dishonoring to share your struggles with outsiders, and then they will go to those same people and smear your good name. So when the time comes to box you in and push you out, you’ve got nowhere to turn. And what feels like love and support from the start turns out to be intentionally evil in the end. And once this tactic is in full play, you are now an easy target for manipulation.

But take heart, my friend, the enemy or the narcissist doesn’t get the final say in your life. I want you to be strengthened by the encouraging words found in Isaiah 41:10 – it says,

“Fear not, for I am with you: be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Sign #6 That the Narcissist is Trying to Destroy You – Distract You From Your God Given Purpose

But be careful, my friend, when all of his tactics actually succeed – when he has you spinning in circles in the maze, running into thorny exits, erecting walls so high that no one can find you – he is now going to come in for the kill. He knows that he can’t steal your salvation. He can’t touch your life. But he can taunt you with endless noise within that maze that quiets and drowns out that still small voice of God. He will keep you entangled in the drama and the strife with the narcissist so much that you have zero energy or interest to walk out the call of God on your life.

Yes, this is the ultimate in the enemy’s tactics. He will use the narcissist to distract you from your God given purpose. He will keep you from using the gifts and the talents that God has given you – burying your potential so far beneath the rubble of dysfunction that you don’t save souls, you don’t expand the kingdom, you don’t even live the abundant life.

This is not the time to roll over. You can fight back, and you don’t have to stoop to their level to do it. My friend, I want to position you to take three powerful steps to freedom. Are you ready?

Step to Freedom #1 – Pray

This is not a Christian cop out. This is where your true power lies. You can’t fight the enemy or the narcissist on your own or on their turf. You have to do this in the spirit realm. Stay anchored in God’s truth, and you’ll be able to fight the devil the same way Jesus did – with the Word of God.

When you pray, you are going to gain greater insight and spiritual discernment for how to handle the demonic and destructive tactics that are coming your way. Pray for the Lord to lift up a standard against the enemy and ask him to fight for you. He will; you only need to hold your peace.

Step to Freedom #2 – Set Boundaries

Being a godly man or woman does not mean that you roll over and show the devil your belly or give the narcissist access to abuse and walk all over you. Protect yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically, and you will limit the enemy’s influence through the narcissist. But be prepared, this will anger both the narcissist and the demons operating through them, and you’re likely going to see them cycle through the same six tactics that we just talked about. But that’s okay – stand firm and guard your heart.

Step to Freedom #3 – Trust God’s Justice

God will fight for you, and you can rest in knowing that God sees what you don’t see, He hears what you can’t hear, and He will do what you are unable to do. He will fight for you, and just like he deals with the devil himself, he will deal directly with the narcissist. Trust Him, trust His timing, and you will begin to see that our God will work all of this together for your good and his glory. So the question is, will you let him?

Part 2 – 5 Demonic Tactics Narcissists Use to Destroy You

Fred is a banker, and in his first few months of training, he was actually quite surprised at how he was going to learn how to spot counterfeit money. Fred thought, “For sure, I’m going to learn all about counterfeit money, what it looks like, how it feels, and what I need to do when I find it.” He was confident that his training would help him spot a fake from a mile away, but boy, was Fred wrong.

For the first two weeks, Fred spent all of his time in the back office counting real money – tens, twenties, hundreds, 1000s of bills over and over and over again. Fred asked his supervisor, “How is this going to help me?” and the supervisor responded by saying, “Counterfeit money changes, but the real thing remains the same, and if you know what the real thing is, you’ll easily be able to spot a counterfeit.”

The same is true for toxic people – especially narcissists. How can you expect to spot the fake if you’ve rarely encountered the real? And that’s how most of us have learned in life. We’ve learned toxic behavior from toxic people. So when other toxic people come along, they look, they feel, and they even smell familiar – and boy, do we love familiar – even if we don’t like it. And that’s why I want to pull you out of your familiar zone and train you to spot these Christian narcissists before they wreak any more havoc in your life.

Clue #1 You’re Dealing with a Christian Narcissist – How They Respond to Intimacy

No, I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about connection – deep, emotional, intimate connection. And it doesn’t matter who the narcissist is – parent, partner, friend – you likely want to connect with them on a deeper level. Share your heart. Share your hurts. After all, God calls us to be in relationship with others, but trying to connect emotionally with a narcissist is like watering a plastic plant. No matter how much you pour, it’ll never grow. And that’s because narcissists are hollow individuals – they only look to connect with people for their own personal gain, and their Christian facade may present well on the outside, but inside they’re a shallow shell of a person. It’s like an empty electrical outlet – the cover is there, but there’s nothing to connect with. But if you’re the type eager for any kind of connection, you may find yourself pulling the weight for both of you in the relationship.

Now, how about those people that you’ve just met – the guy that you swipe right on in the dating app, the fellow volunteer you met at the church fundraiser? These connection crooks are only looking for what serves their purpose in the moment. Maybe it’s at a party, and they’re avoiding eye contact and looking around for someone else to scam – I mean, talk to – and that’s if you don’t suit their needs. If you do, they will create this imitation intimacy where they feign interest and lay on the charm to make you feel special so they can set you up for the taking.

My friend, this may be all too familiar to you, so here’s what I want you to look for instead. True intimacy in relationships has a deep emotional connection. They have trust and they have vulnerability consistently. You have open and honest communication where both of you feel safe and heard. They will make eye contact, share experiences, show empathy, and make you a priority. No, not likely all the time, but you certainly won’t have to fight for your worth in truly intimate relationships.

Clue #2 You’re Dealing with a Christian Narcissist – Defensiveness & Aggression

You’ve likely had your fair share of conversations that took a wild turn down the road of defensiveness, denial and even flat out aggression. That’s because, if you’re not aware of how narcissists respond to criticism, you could think that you’re offering constructive feedback to someone who appreciates your advice, but in reality, you’re dealing with a narcissist who perceives anything and everything as an attack.

Have you ever walked away from a conversation apologizing for what you said or how you said it, even though you didn’t do anything wrong and the original thing you were upset about never got addressed? That’s the dynamic you’re dealing with in a narcissistic relationship. And you likely don’t understand what’s happening, because you’re open to honest and open feedback, and you assume that others are too. Not so with the narcissist. These reactions are rooted in their fragile self-esteem, despite having an outward appearance of confidence. And if you’re the type to mistake arrogance for confidence or scripture reading for true biblical belief, you too can be swayed into believing that you’re dealing with a secure person who is able to accept criticism. But this coin is not two-sided. Narcissists are classic for being “I can dish it out, but can’t take it” kind of people, and that’s because their motive in criticism is control, which is likely why they always call you a control freak.

True Christians actually appreciate feedback even when it hurts. They view it as an opportunity for growth and learning, and they let the Spirit rule, not their ego. They don’t let their ego dominate, even if it just took a hit.

Clue #3 You’re Dealing with a Christian Narcissist – Pride

Lean in for this clue, because this one could save you years of aggravation.

Narcissists are marked by pride. Conversations with them will always be filled with me’s and I’s. In life, there are talkers and non-talkers, introverts and extroverts, but narcissists are a different breed. They thrive off of others. In fact, they can’t survive without your supply. They need you to be impressed with them, they need you to be enamored by them, and their ego needs constant stroking and validation, so conversations will always be focused on their accomplishments, their desires, and their goals. Their successes will be exaggerated, and their failures will always be someone else’s fault.

So listen closely for how they talk about themselves, because a narcissistic behavior will fly in the face of Romans 12:3, and here’s what it says,

“For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith God has assigned.”

So the narcissist may give God glory in words, but in their heart, they are their own rock star, and if you don’t recognize that, too, your time with them will be short-lived at best. They will talk over you, cut you off, and progressively get louder and louder as they fight for center stage.

Instead of mistaking arrogance for confidence, here’s what I want you to do. Healthy, safe people enjoy a mutual dialogue. They celebrate your successes even if it’s something they’ve been praying for. They listen actively, not just long enough to respond. They have an easy time validating your feelings and experiences because they truly care about you, even if they don’t understand. And this approach is what makes Clue #1 possible in healthy relationships and impossible in narcissistic ones.

Clue #4 You’re Dealing with a Christian Narcissist – How They Respond to Your Needs

As Christians, we are taught to look to the needs of others. We’re taught to put others first. We’re taught to think less of ourselves. But here’s where many Christians fall prey to this wolf in sheep’s clothing. They will completely surrender themselves, thinking that they’re doing God’s will, but they’re literally stepping into the fiery furnace.

Narcissists are self-centered takers. I don’t care how many fundraisers they volunteer for, or how much they claim that they’re a giving person, or how much they feign and fake empathy, because even their giving has a selfish motive. So, if you’re the type to meet their needs, it won’t be appreciated; it will be expected. Life is all about them, so your needs are a nuisance, and they won’t tolerate being inconvenienced.

So be sure to take a step back and watch how they consistently respond to your needs. Not just once in a while when they’re worried about how others will perceive them, no, how do they consistently respond to your needs? Are they pretending they didn’t hear you? Are they making something else up that they’ve got to get done that’s so much more important? If you are the rescuing type, to drop everything to help those you love, sadly, this could make you a target for these parasitic freeloaders.

I knew this gal one time who had a boyfriend who doted over her. He did whatever he could do to make her life easier. And while this is a wonderful quality of his, she just took advantage of him. She would get annoyed and angry when he didn’t continue to do all the nice things he had done for her, and those nice things now became the norm, so he had to continue to add more and more nice things to make her feel as special as she thought she was. I wonder if that guy ever burned out.

Here’s what I want you to look for instead. True biblical Christians will know their limits, and they will not let others take advantage of them. No, they won’t be suspicious and on guard all the time, but they will put their needs on equal ground to yours, and when they do truly need something, they’re going to be the first to ask for help. Look for people who ask how you’re doing and follow up on previous conversations.

Clue #5 You’re Dealing with a Christian Narcissist – How They Use Scripture

This clue can be very difficult to detect if you don’t have spiritual discernment. You see, we’re often fooled into thinking someone is super spiritual if they quote scripture, but that’s a mistake you may never recover from. Even the devil knows scripture.

So Clue #5 is to notice how they use scripture. They’ll likely use it just like Satan did when he tempted Jesus in the wilderness. It’s all for manipulation and personal gain. And the narcissist’s use of Scripture is simple, it’s to bolster themselves and control you. That’s it. It has absolutely nothing to do with the worship of God. They’ll use scriptures like – “God will bless me (not you, me).” “Submit yourselves to me.” “Honor me.” “God is giving me the authority to hold you accountable.” But if you try to hold them accountable, then they’re going to call you a judgmental Pharisee. If the narcissist had a nickname, it would be hypocrite. Rules simply don’t apply to them – just you.

True Bible believing Christians, on the other hand, will also use scripture to hold you accountable – but not to them – to God. They will use scripture to guide you, comfort you, and inspire you to be more like Jesus. They will handle you and the Scripture with humility and compassion, because they know the transforming power that lies within God’s word, and they have no need for brute force and manipulation.

Clue #6 You’re Dealing with a Christian Narcissist – Their Instability

This is the biggest clue of all. It is the one that can throw you off your game and get you into a mental mess. If you are not aware of this frightening clue, it is their instability.

The worst part about narcissists, especially the covert ones, is that you don’t get the same person from day to day, or even minute to minute. They can take every one of those traits that we’ve talked about, sprinkled in with a few maybe decent ones, and display them all within one afternoon. Narcissists are fragile, weak individuals who thrive off of people and circumstances. That’s why their attitude and their mood and their behavior can change like the wind, leaving you second-guessing yourself. “Oh, maybe I was too harsh on them” or “Oh, I should assume the best, after all, God forgave me.”

But, my friend, forgiveness has nothing to do with it. It’s trust. I can’t trust someone who isn’t the same person minute by minute. I can’t trust someone who says one thing and does another. I can’t trust someone who changes the rules to suit their own narrative. It’s the reason you feel like you’re on shaky ground with this person, because you are. They’re unstable.

Yes, even healthy people have bad moods and hangry responses from time to time, but it’s not a consistent ground shifting that leaves you feeling like you’re the problem. They may need a little time to regroup, but they will have an appreciation for how they may have affected you and will be quick to repent. But with safe people, this is few and far between, as they’re secure in who they are and they’re solid in how they treat you. But narcissists are master manipulators, and if you are not careful, you can fall victim to their emotional and psychological tactics.

Part 3 – 3 Clues to Spot the Demonic Spirit Behind the Narcissist & How Spiritual Discernment Helps

Not every narcissist is emotionally immature or traumatized. Some behavior is driven by something deeper, something spiritual. 2 Corinthians 11:14 says,

”Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.”

That means that not everyone who looks polished, acts kind, or even calls themselves a Christian is actually walking in the Spirit. You see, there’s a big difference between emotional dysfunction and spiritual deception. And 1 John 4:1 tells us to,

”test the spirits to see whether they are from God.”

So let’s do that. These three questions will help you gain clarity fast.

Question #1 – What’s the Fruit?

Here’s the thing, you can argue with opinions, you can even dismiss gut feelings, but you can’t argue with fruit. And if you’re trying to figure out whether what you’re dealing with is narcissism, deep trauma, or something darker, the first place to look is the evidence that it leaves behind. Because fruit doesn’t lie. You don’t need a psychology degree to spot demonic influence. You just need to look at what it consistently produces. Is it peace or is it chaos? Is it healing or destruction? Is it love or truth? Is it fear or confusion?

You see, you don’t need to analyze the root when the fruit is already rotten. When someone is truly operating under the influence of the Holy Spirit, their life bears fruit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness – all found in Galatians 5:22. But when it’s another Spirit at work, you’ll see a different kind of pattern, and Matthew 7:16 reminds us,

“By their fruit you will recognize them.”

And here’s what I want you to watch out for – a wake of emotional chaos and confusion. No matter how much love, no matter how much prayer, and no matter how much patience you have, it’s always self-focused. You’re going to recognize lies and manipulation masked as growth or love. You’re also going to recognize a complete lack of repentance, just damage control. 1 Corinthians 14:33 says,

”God is not the author of confusion.”

So if your peace is constantly under attack and destruction keeps following this person, it may be a sign of a spirit of confusion, rebellion, or destruction in operation. And if you find yourself constantly questioning your reality, that’s fruit, too!

Question #2 – How Do They Respond to Truth?

If question #1 revealed rotten fruit, question number two is going to expose the root. Fruit shows you the outcome, but the next question uncovers what’s feeding it beneath the surface. And once you ask this, you’ll start to see not just what is happening, but why it keeps happening.

Imagine walking into a room and flipping on the lights, and suddenly all the cockroaches scatter. Why? Because darkness is where they thrive, and the same is true with toxic people under spiritual influence. The moment truth enters the conversation, they don’t just back away, they fight to keep you in the dark. So the second question that every Christian needs to ask is this – how do they respond to truth? Are they convicted or combative? Are they humble or do they hide? Light exposes what darkness hides. So why do they rage when truth enters the room? Well, John 3:20 tells us that,

”Everyone who does evil hates the light and will not come into the light…”

When someone reacts with anger, blame shifting, or self-victimization in the face of truth, these are clear signs that could be in operation. So which spirits could they be? Well, for starters, it’s the spirit of deception – they twist the truth, they gaslight, they confuse. The next could be the spirit of pride – pride-filled people cannot accept correction or admit fault. There could be the spirit of offense – causing hypersensitivity, victimhood, and resentment. And these spirits don’t just block truth, they attack it, especially when it threatens their control.

And this is also the area where you’ll see the spirit of victimhood thrive, as they refuse to take ownership. The spirit of victimhood often works in tandem with the spirit of deception, pride, and manipulation, making it so cunning and deceptive.

Question #3 – Do They Imitate Righteousness but Deny Its Power?

So, if question #2 uncovered their hostility towards truth, question #3 will expose what they’re using to hide it. Because here’s the thing, not everyone pretending to be godly is following God. Some people don’t just reject the truth, they repackage it. They’ll use Christian language, spiritual-sounding phrases, and even scripture, to convince you that they are righteous, all the while they are quietly manipulating you behind the scenes.

Think of it like this, a wolf in sheep’s clothing doesn’t bark, it bleats, it blends in, it looks the part, sounds the part, but it’s still hunting for something to control. And that’s what makes this question so critical. It doesn’t just expose behavior, it reveals the spirit behind the mask. And what is that question that every Christian needs to ask? Do they imitate righteousness but deny its power? Do they – speak peace but sow confusion, pray publicly but stir up chaos privately, claim Jesus but act like Judas?

A lot of these people will wear a costume of Christianity, but walk in the character of control. And 2 Timothy 3:5 says it best,

“They have a form of godliness but deny its power…”

When someone uses spiritual language, quotes scripture, or claims moral superiority but has no fruit of the Spirit, it may be an indication of counterfeit righteousness. So what are some of the spirits that could be in operation here? Well, for starters, a religious spirit – they focus on appearances and legalism, but resist true transformation. The second is the spirit of control – aka the Jezebel spirit – they manipulate, dominate, and they all operate under a false spiritual mask. You could be looking at a spirit of hypocrisy – they say the right things, but live the opposite life.

Galatians 5:22-23 lists the true fruit of the Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness – and if those are missing, it’s time to test what Spirit is at work. These spirits often hide behind narcissistic behavior, but a little spiritual discernment goes a long way. I’m not talking about walking around in your own demonic spirit of suspicion, but rightly discerning the truth. When patterns of destruction, deception, and counterfeit righteousness become clear, it’s not just a personality issue, this is a spiritual battle. 1 John 4:1,

“Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God…”

So what do you do if you’re not sure? Ask. James 1:5 gave a promise from God that you can count on.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

But let me warn you, my friend. I’m not going to sugarcoat this. The good news is that God will give you the wisdom and the spiritual discernment that you need to see right through these wicked spirits. But don’t you dare ignore that wisdom. It would be better that you didn’t even discern it than to be given wisdom from God that you disregard. Matthew 25:28-29 is a great example of this when it reads,

“So take the talent from him and give it to the one who has 10 talents. For whoever has will be given more, they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.”

And while this parable is about stewardship, it also reflects a powerful principle – when you fail to use what God gives you, including wisdom, it can be removed or given to someone else who is going to use it faithfully. When God shows you how this person is operating, now is not the time to find the best in them or just show them Jesus. No, this is the time you go to war.

Part 4 – 7 Hidden Demonic Traits Behind Every Narcissist

Demonic attitude is not your run-of-the-mill, bad mood. We all have off days where frustration, impatience, or even arrogance can creep in, but these are fleeting, passing moments, not defining characteristics of who we actually are. However, when someone is more influenced by darkness than by truth, their attitudes don’t just become problematic, they become downright demonic.

I want you to think of it like this – imagine walking into a house where the foundation is rotting from the inside out. At first glance, everything looks normal, maybe even inviting, especially if it’s decorated nicely, but step too hard on the wrong spot and the floor caves beneath you. And that’s what it’s like dealing with someone whose mindset is ruled by demonic influence. They look stable, maybe even pretty, but beneath the surface, everything is built on deception, manipulation, and destruction.

Demonic Trait #1 – Deception & Manipulation

The first demonic attitude on the list is the very thing that makes everything about them feel off, yet so convincing at the same time, and it is deception and manipulation. The most dangerous thing about narcissists is their ability to twist reality, gaslight you, and make you question your own judgment. You could have proof right in your hands, but somehow they’ll convince you that you’re the one who’s in the wrong. It’s not just lying, it’s warping the truth to keep control, and the enemy has been using this tactic since the beginning. Genesis 3:1, “Did God really say that?” – and just like that, deception took root in humanity.

When a narcissist operates under this demonic influence, they don’t just deceive, you start to doubt yourself. They twist truth, distort facts, and reframe reality, not just to win, but to weaken you. And Jesus himself exposed this type of deception when He said in John 8:44,

“You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

When deception is at work, it’s not just a bad habit, it’s evidence of who they’re truly influenced by.

Demonic Trait #2 – Control & Domination

Have you ever felt like you’re losing yourself in a relationship? Like every decision, every thought, every action, is no longer yours? You see, it starts small, so small that you don’t even notice it, but before long, you find yourself second-guessing everything because someone else has taken the wheel. This isn’t love, this is control, and that is what #2 is – control and domination – and it is one of the most insidious tactics that narcissists use to dominate their victims.

Once they hook you, narcissists use a dangerous mix of emotional blackmail, guilt, fear, and gaslighting to wear you down. And at first, they present themselves as your protector, your guide, or even your savior, but in reality, they’re laying the groundwork to make sure that you submit to their authority. And perhaps they have something you want, perhaps something you need. But what happens when you do something they don’t like? That mask slips suddenly, that caring partner or that friend or family member turns rather cold, punishing, and ruthless. They treat your independence like a betrayal because they don’t want a relationship, they want control.

And here’s the kicker – their control doesn’t always look like rage or aggression. Sometimes it’s a sweet, soft-spoken manipulation disguised as concern – “I just want what’s best for you.” “You’re making a big mistake, but I’ll support you anyway.” This is deception at its highest level, and Scripture warns about it in 2 Corinthians 11:14-15 when it says,

”And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness.”

They don’t want a healthy, equal relationship. They want to own you. No, they’ll never admit it, but the moment you step out of line, the punishment will begin.

Demonic Trait #3 – Blame Shifting and Accusations

The third demonic trait can best be described as a rigged courtroom where the verdict is always against you. No matter what happens, no matter how much evidence you have, the narcissist always walks away innocent, and you’re left carrying the guilt, the shame, and the blame for their actions.

Narcissists are masters at blame shifting and accusations. They are infamous for rewriting reality, not just to protect themselves, but to place the burden of responsibility onto you. And their goal isn’t just to avoid accountability, it’s to make you believe you’re the problem, like somehow everything they do wrong is your fault. They lash out – well, you must have provoked them. They betray you – you weren’t meeting their needs. They manipulate and deceive – you’re paranoid and overreacting.

This is more than just manipulation, my friend, this is a demonic attack on your identity, and the enemy has been using this tactic since the beginning. Satan is called the accuser for a reason. He works day and night, falsely condemning you, to keep you trapped in guilt and to distort the truth. In fact, Revelation 12: 10, reveals his very strategy, and it says,

“For the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God.”

And just like Satan, the narcissist thrives on false accusations, twisting truth, and keeping you in a constant state of self-doubt. And the more you internalize their blame, the more power they hold over you. The blame is not yours to carry, but the boundary is yours to set.

Demonic Trait #4 – Attitude of Hypocrisy

The next demonic trait can best be described as a perfectly polished mask covering a heart of darkness. On the outside, they present themselves as kind, compassionate, even godly, but behind closed doors, their behavior tells a completely different story. That’s the damaging effect of the demonic attitude of hypocrisy. It is one of the most infuriating and confusing tactics that narcissists use, especially in Christian circles.

They weaponize faith, morality, and righteousness, to control and manipulate others while living in direct contradiction to the very values they claim to uphold, only to turn around and use the sin you struggle with against you as a justification for their deliberate iniquity. They demand respect, but show none. They preach about forgiveness, but hold on to bitterness. They judge others harshly while excusing their own sins. They claim to be victims when confronted, but mercilessly tear others down. And the worst part – if you ever call them out on their hypocrisy, they rage with self-righteous indignation or cower in the corner and play the victim.

Narcissists love the appearance of goodness because it keeps everyone deceived. They want admiration, not transformation. Jesus exposed this exact behavior when he rebuked the Pharisees, the religious narcissists of his day. And here’s what he said,

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.” Matthew 23:27-28

They act like good people, they say all the right things, but behind the scenes, they manipulate, lie, and deceive without a shred of conviction. It’s nothing more than a cover for their corruption. And if you’ve ever been made to feel less than by a self-righteous narcissist, remember this – God sees behind the mask.

Demonic Trait #5 – Entitlement

Have you ever noticed how some people walk into a room and just act like they own it, even when they have no right to? It’s not confidence, it’s not leadership, it’s actually something much darker. You see, demonic attitude #5 is a lot like a dictator ruling over a stolen kingdom. They act as if they hold ultimate authority, demanding submission from everyone around them, yet they have no real right to the power they claim. Every decision, every interaction, is about reinforcing their dominance, making sure that you recognize them as superior, even if they have to manipulate, intimidate, or bulldoze their way over you – and that is the damaging effect of entitlement.

Narcissists truly believe that they deserve special treatment, that rules don’t apply to them, and that others exist to serve their needs, and they’ll demand it all without earning it. You see, the overt narcissist will make their entitled attitude known, but beware of the vulnerable narcissist who knows well enough not to say it, but you better believe that they think it, and they act on it in a very manipulative way.

And this is more than arrogance. It is the same attitude that led Satan to rebel against God. They trample over your boundaries, make manipulative comments, disregard your needs, and react with rage or tears when you don’t cater to their needs. In their minds, they can’t fathom why they’re not getting what they want. And this is exactly what we see in Isaiah 14:13, where Satan declares, 

“I will ascend to the heavens; I will raise my throne above the stars of God… I will make myself like the Most High.”

Just like Satan, narcissists believe that they are above others, deserving absolute power, when in reality, their authority is nothing more than an illusion, and they know it, and that’s why they’re so demanding and manipulative. They’re counting on your fear as their fuel.

Demonic Trait #6 – Vindictiveness & Unforgiveness

The sixth demonic attitude can best be described as a fire that refuses to burn out – smoldering beneath the surface, waiting for the right moment to ignite again. You see, to a narcissist, a perceived offense is never just a moment of hurt. It’s a lifelong grudge. They don’t just hold on to resentment, they nurture it, feed it, take it to lunch, and wait for the opportunity to strike back. And their version of justice isn’t about fairness, it’s about destruction – and that is the demonic attitude of vindictiveness and unforgiveness.

Narcissists never forgive, and they never forget. Even when you’ve moved on, even when you’ve apologized for something you didn’t even do, they will still keep score. They don’t just want to be right, they want leverage. And here’s where you’ll see the smear campaigns, the slander, the passive-aggressive comments, and the relentless attacks kick into high gear, because they can’t just hate you, they have to make sure that others hate you too. And it’s not enough for them to walk away, they need to take everything and everyone with them – your reputation, your support system – the more they can take, the more powerful they feel.

And this level of unforgiveness is more than bitterness, it is demonic vengeance. But I have good news, my friend. You see, Romans 12:19 warns us,

“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

It may be 10 days or 10 years that the narcissists refuse to let go. Their words may say they’ve moved on, but that vindictive fire burns within.

Demonic Trait #7 – Playing the Victim While Being the Oppressor

The next demonic trait can best be described as a wolf draped in sheep’s wool, soft and innocent on the outside, but underneath, nothing but fangs and a hunger for control. Narcissists don’t just play the victim, they weaponize it. They will abuse, manipulate, and destroy without remorse, and then turn around and convince everyone that they are the ones who have been wronged.

Narcissists love playing the victim while being the oppressor. They lie, they cheat, they manipulate, they betray, but the moment you hold them accountable, suddenly you’re the bad guy and they are the wounded, helpless victim. And this is why narcissists are so dangerous in Christian circles – they will twist scripture, cry false persecution, and pretend to be humble while secretly tearing others down. And their ability to play both the victim and the oppressor keeps their true nature well hidden from those who just don’t know any better. And believe me, my friend, there are plenty of people out there who fall for their facade. And if you fight back, that just proves their point, and they push you to the brink, then when you finally snap, they act horrified and claim that they always knew that you were unstable, abusive, or ungodly.

They recruit flying monkeys, spin false narratives, and rewrite history to cast themselves as the innocent, traumatized party. And Jesus warned us about these types of people in Matthew 7:15 where he says, 

“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.”

They may cry the loudest, act the most wounded, and make others feel sorry for them, but make no mistake, the true victim in the story is the one they’ve been tearing apart behind the scenes.

Part 5 – 4 Undeniable Signs Narcissists are Influenced by Demons

If you’ve been around a narcissist for more than 10 minutes, you know the emotional, psychological, and even spiritual damage they can cause. With their self-entitled, grandiose, manipulative behaviors, they wreak havoc everywhere they go, then they blame you for the fallout. And while you’re left tangled in confusion, constantly defending yourself and walking on eggshells, you may not realize there is a smoke screen forming right in front of you. Behind the scenes, a far more powerful and sinister force is at work, driving these self-centered individuals and fueling their destruction.

And the damage it’s causing reaches deeper than you can ever imagine. You spend your time trying to understand their behavior, hoping they’ll see the harm they’re causing, and work tirelessly to fix the relationship issues. But here is the truth – treating narcissistic behavior without addressing the spiritual root is like cutting weeds without pulling up the roots – they will always grow back stronger. And that’s because the narcissistic behaviors that you see are just the weeds – the spiritual forces are hidden underground. They form that root system, and if you only treat the visible signs (those psychological traits) and ignore the root cause (that demonic influence) the toxic behavior will keep coming back worse than before.

So how can you recognize when there’s more than meets the eye? Well, let’s dive in and identify the four clear signs that the narcissist is actually being controlled by demons.

Demonic Sign #1 – Manipulation & Deception

I want you to imagine this – you’re sitting across from the narcissist, trying to have a simple conversation, maybe even a disagreement. At first, they seem reasonable, calm even, but as the discussion unfolds, the story begins to shift. They subtly twist your words, making you question your memory, and somehow, before you even realize it, you’re the one apologizing for something they did. It feels like you stepped into a maze where every path leads you further and further from the truth, and just when you think you found your way out, they move the walls again – gaslighting, denying, or playing the victim. You’re left totally disoriented, emotionally drained, and wondering, “How did we even get here?” This is the first sign that you are dealing with the demonic forces of manipulation and deception.

And this isn’t just manipulation, it is a carefully constructed smoke screen designed to keep you confused and powerless. And behind it is a far more sinister force weaving deception to keep you feeling trapped. Their main goal is control, and isn’t that what Satan is all about? Isaiah 14:12-15 reminds us, and it describes the fall of Lucifer, whose pride and desire to be like God led to his rebellion.

Now, similarly, narcissists exhibit pride, self-exaltation, and their desire for control. They want to be the center of attention, and they reject any form of accountability – all behaviors that mirror Satan’s rebellion. And we can’t forget John 8:44, which states that,

“Satan is the father of lies.”

Narcissists, too, are known for manipulating truth to maintain control and avoid responsibility, and they will manipulate and deceive at all costs. Once they gave in to this controlling behavior, that door swung wide open for the enemy to get a foothold and step on in, and he was more than happy to send in his foot soldiers to keep the destruction going.

And this is where things spiral out of control, and now the narcissist becomes trapped in their own web of wickedness. You see, no matter how many times they hurt others, it’s as if that manipulation is second nature, and that is exactly what makes it so demonic. First Timothy 4:1 says,

”The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons.”

Demonic spirits can influence people through deception, pride, and manipulation, and if your narcissist’s behavior involves gaslighting, twisting the truth, or rewriting history to portray themselves as a victim, this could be evidence of spiritual deception at work. Some even believe that manipulation, control, and emotional abuse can be influenced by what’s often referred to as a Jezebel spirit.

Demonic Sign #2 – Spiritual Blindness & a Hardened Heart

Have you ever looked into the eyes of a narcissist during an argument and felt like you were talking to a wall – a cold, black-eyed wall? No matter how clearly you explain yourself, it’s likely they just can’t see the truth, almost as if something is blocking them from understanding. You may lay out the facts, hoping even for a flicker of recognition, but instead, you’re met with denial, defensiveness, or a cold indifference. It is exhausting. You find yourself wondering, “How could somebody be so blind to the harm that they are causing and resistant to seeing my side”?

And at first, you might assume that they just need a little bit of time to reflect, but days, months, or even years pass, and nothing changes. Their heart seems more closed off than ever, as if any trace of empathy has just been locked away for good. And they’ll gladly accept your apology, but there is no apology to be found on their part. What you’re dealing with isn’t just stubbornness or emotional immaturity, it is something far deeper. You see, when the door is open to demonic influence, one of the first things to go is spiritual vision, and the narcissist becomes blind to the truth, and over time, their heart becomes hardened, making real changes feel impossible.

So the second sign is spiritual blindness and a hardened heart. You see, 2 Corinthians 4:4 speaks of how spiritual blindness isn’t just a personal choice, but also a result of demonic influence. Here’s what it says,

“In their case, the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.”

These demons work hard to keep people from seeing the truth, blocking their understanding and hardening their hearts. And in the case of the narcissist, this blindness isn’t just keeping them from seeing the truth of God, it also makes them blind to the harm that they inflict on others, trapping them in a cycle of sin and selfishness, no matter how much the truth is presented to them.

So, if your narcissist seems irrational, disconnected from reality, rationalizing their behavior, avoiding accountability, and rejecting Godly counsel, this may indicate a hardened heart and spiritual blindness.

Demonic Sign #3 – Division & Strife

Demonic sign #3 can best be described by the constant storm of conflict and chaos that seems to follow the narcissist wherever they go. It’s like no matter what situation they walk into, whether it’s family gatherings, friendships, or work environments, relationships get strained, arguments erupt, and peace becomes impossible to maintain. And you try to avoid the tension, thinking maybe if you just keep the peace or tiptoe around them, things will stay calm, but somehow that drama always finds its way in. It’s as if conflict is drawn to them like a magnet. One minute, they’re blaming others for the discord, the next, they’re stirring the pot, and again keeping everyone divided and on edge.

This isn’t just personality dysfunction, this is division and strife, and they are the key tools that the enemy uses to destroy relationships and isolate people from one another. You know that whole triangulation smear campaign, yes, and the narcissists are prime candidates for this spiritual strategy, with their need for power and control fueling that chaos. The third sign that the narcissist is controlled by demons is division and strife. John 10:10 reminds us that…

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it in abundance.”

The enemy’s goal is to destroy relationships and sow division, especially in marriage, which reflects God’s love for His people – you’ll find that in Ephesians 5. And if your narcissist behavior has led to manipulation, confusion, or emotional abuse, it is possible that spiritual forces are influencing him or her to bring destruction to your relationship.

Demonic Sign #4 – Unforgiving Spirit

The next sign can best be described as a heavy weight of bitterness that the narcissist carries everywhere they go. An unforgiving spirit that refuses to release past offenses. Yes, I know they say they’re forgiving, but even the smallest slight is stored away, ready to be used as ammunition at that perfect moment. You apologize, you try to make things right, but it never seems to matter. They hold on to resentment like a prized possession. It’s as if they thrive on keeping score, rehashing old arguments long after they should have been forgotten. And you think, “Surely at some point they’ll let this go,” because you have talked it through. You did think that you came to some resolve, but they never do. And the most deceptive of them all are the ones that lead you to believe that all is well between you two, but deep down inside, they are seething with resentment, waiting for that just-right moment to justify their ungodly behaviors.

Forgiveness in their minds kind of feels like weakness, something they refuse to give, no matter what the cost is to them. And with every grudge they cling to, their heart hardens even more, and the distance between you now grows, but you’d better believe they expect forgiveness from you. My friend, this isn’t just stubbornness – unforgiveness and resentment are powerful tools that the enemy uses to keep the narcissist in bondage. That’s right, they’re in bondage because he knows that it doesn’t just destroy them, but it’s now going to bring destruction to everyone within firing range.

That fourth sign that the narcissist is controlled by demons is their unforgiveness and seething resentment. Ephesians 4:26 reminds us,

“In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”

Narcissists always feel righteous and justified in their anger. They carry it to bed, they dwell on it, they nurture it, they allow it to take root deep within their hearts, and especially the covert narcissist who likes to seethe quietly. They think that because they’re not exerting their anger outwardly, inward anger isn’t causing equal destruction. Because they feed on it – they replay every offense, over and over and over again until that bitterness grows like weeds with deep roots that sink deeper and deeper into the soil of their soul. And when they do this, they open the door wide for the enemy to now gain influence.

And if your narcissist has accumulated resentment over time, it’s highly likely that the enemy may be using that bitterness to fuel his or her actions, driving a wedge between you and keeping him or her emotionally distant. What they disguise as people pleasing and conflict avoidance could actually be demons reveling in their secret nurturing of resentment.

Demonic Sign #5 – Misuse of God’s Word

Narcissists often like to twist scripture to suit their agenda, weaponizing God’s truth to manipulate and control others. They will cherry-pick verses to justify their behavior, demanding forgiveness without repentance, or accusing you of being unloving when you try to set boundaries.

Now, should we really be surprised by this? I mean, Satan himself twisted God’s word to tempt Jesus in the wilderness in Matthew 4 – manipulating scripture to serve his own deceitful purposes. Now, in the same way, narcissists may use God’s peace as an excuse to avoid confrontation, or Stonewall you, or claim God’s direction to pursue their selfish desires that benefit them at your expense. They may even declare themselves as spiritually superior, implying that questioning them is the equivalent of questioning God.

This behavior isn’t rooted in genuine faith. It is a strategic tool to maintain power and keep others under their influence, and they know that if they disguise this manipulation as spiritual guidance, you’ll hesitate to push back after all, who would dare question God? But behind these twisted interpretations are lies, and they are not from the Spirit of God, but from a spirit of control and deception. And this type of spiritual manipulation not only distorts the true message of the Bible, but also feeds confusion and guilt in the hearts of those they target, and the enemy loves nothing more than to twist what is holy, turning it into a tool for perversion and destruction. And when scripture is misused in this way, it is a clear sign that something is far darker at work behind the scenes.

So the big question is, what can you do? Can you actually get them to see? Is there a way to help them, or should you just run for the hills? Well, the bad news is that if you don’t do something, this will get worse, and the good news is that you have the weapons in your arsenal to fight this spiritual battle. That’s right, because this is not a fleshly battle. You’re not arguing with a person. This is a spiritual battle, and there are several powerful steps that you can take to help rescue this loved one from the kingdom of darkness.

So how do you respond if you believe there are spiritual forces involved:

#1 – Pray for spiritual discernment and protection. James 1:5 says,

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

Ask God to give you discernment to recognize whether spiritual forces are influencing this person, or if these are simple personality differences. Pray for protection over your heart and mind during this battle.

#2 – Pray for deliverance and healing. 2 Corinthians 10:4 reminds us that,

“The weapons we fight are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.”

So pray that God would break any spiritual stronghold over your narcissist, whether it is pride, deception, manipulation, or unforgiveness. Ask God to remove any influence that the enemy may have over him or her and set them free.

#3 – Use the authority of Christ. Luke 10:19 says,

“I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.”

As a believer, my friend, you have the authority in Christ to pray against any demonic influence. You can pray in Jesus’ name for any spirits of manipulation, control, or confusion to leave your narcissist. The truth is, if they continue in that behavior, the demonic forces will return, but you’re standing in the gap for them and asking the Holy Spirit to intercede.

#4 – Pray for their heart to soften. Ezekiel 36:26 says,

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”

Pray that God would soften their heart and open their eyes to the truth. Ask that any spiritual blindness or hardness would be removed and that he or she would be drawn to repentance and healing.

#5 – Fast and pray. Mark 9:29 reminds us that,

“This kind can only come out by prayer and fasting.”

Some spiritual battles require prayer combined with fasting for a breakthrough. So consider a time of fasting as you pray for your narcissist’s deliverance and healing.

If demonic influence is contributing to your narcissist’s behavior, God has the power to bring deliverance and healing. And while you cannot change their heart directly, your prayers are powerful and effective. Continue to pray for their freedom and healing, even if it’s from a distance, while also protecting your heart and mind. My friend, you are not alone in this battle. God is with you, and he desires to see them set free even more than you do.

And if you have ever wondered if there will be justice for what this person has done to you, be sure to check out this episode next, and remember to grab a copy of your free Narcissist Survival Guide.

Were you once confident, clear, even joyful, but after years in that toxic relationship, you now second-guess everything and wonder what happened to the person you used to be? Then this is for you.

Maybe you’ve begged God to heal the relationship, maybe you questioned yourself, tried harder, forgiven over and over, only to be met with blame, silence, or twisted words. My friend, that’s not love, that’s emotional captivity disguised as commitment, and it’s keeping you from the freedom that God intended for you.

That’s why I wrote Breaking the Narcissist’s Grip. This book isn’t about diagnosing them, it’s about delivering you. You’ll learn how to recognize covert manipulation, respond without guilt, and stop being triggered by the person who keeps wounding you. So if you are ready to cut the strings of manipulation, set boundaries that actually stick, and reclaim your life from takers, order your copy today.