What if the reason you feel stuck wasn’t that you lacked boundaries or discernment, but because you didn’t recognize what was actually operating behind the scenes? Most Christians can sense something toxic in a narcissistic relationship, but they can’t quite name it.
In this episode, I’m bringing together three powerful teachings to show you the six habits you consider normal that actually invite demonic influence, as well as the five narcissistic demonic tactics used to trap you.
Part 1 – 5 Narcissist Demonic Tactics Used to Destroy You
For many, it’s comforting to believe that narcissists are just broken souls needing a little healing. And while there is brokenness there, there’s also a far more dangerous reality that can’t be seen through psychology or human wisdom alone. Narcissists are not just victims of pain; they are often willing partners in a deadly spiritual alliance.
To understand their methods more clearly, you must first recognize the open doors in a narcissist’s life that give full access to demonic spirits to wreak havoc. Through their rebellion, pride, deception, and love of self, they open door after door to demonic influence and, over time, become spiritual assassins used against the people of God. This isn’t random. It’s the spiritual consequence of repeated willful choices to reject the truth, refuse repentance, and exalt themselves even above God.
Today, I’m going to reveal five terrifying ways this partnership happens and, most importantly, how you can recognize the real enemy, protect your spirit, and stand firm in Christ’s authority. Because if you keep fighting narcissists as if they’re merely people, you’ll keep missing the war raging behind their mask.
It’s not just brokenness you’re dealing with, it is a system of spiritual sabotage designed to wear you down, steal your peace, and sever your connection to truth. Before you can fight back effectively, you must see exactly how the enemy works through them.
Let’s walk through the five terrifying ways that narcissists become assassins in the hands of darkness, and how you can break free from their grip once and for all.
Tactic #1: Rebellion
Imagine standing at a crossroads. One path is narrow and steep, but leads to life; the other is wide and comfortable, but leads straight into enemy territory. Narcissists will always choose the easy path, and when they do, something devastating begins — rebellion — primarily rebellion against God’s ways. Rebellion is the birthplace of demonic partnership. First Samuel 15:23 tells us;
“Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft.”
When a narcissist repeatedly rejects God’s design and order, selfishness is at the forefront. Since narcissists are always self-serving, they will align themselves with anything that gives them what they want or makes them feel superior. To do this, they align themselves with that spirit of rebellion. Every time they reject conviction, resist God’s correction, or refuse to submit to God’s ways, they swing that door wide open. The spirit of rebellion gains authority over their lives, and they begin to think they are their own god.
How this plays out in your relationship:
- They flat-out refuse to take responsibility, no matter how gently you confront them.
- They twist God’s word to justify their behavior, making themselves the exception to every rule.
- Conversations turn into power struggles instead of moments of humility or healing.
- Rebellion leaks into every corner of the relationship — disrespect for your boundaries, refusal to change, and increasing hostility toward anything that challenges their self-exaltation.
And the more you try to lovingly point them back to the truth, the more they harden, defend, and resist, because rebellion can’t thrive where truth is embraced.
How to protect yourself:
- Don’t be deceived by outward appearances; not everyone claiming to be a Christian is truly Christ-like.
- Watch for fruits of repentance, not just empty apologies.
- Stay submitted to God’s truth yourself; the closer you are to God’s truth, the further rebellion wants to be from you.
Tactic #2: Unrepentant Pride
This is like watching a warrior wrapped in heavy, gleaming armor made entirely of pride. From a distance, it looks impressive, powerful, and untouchable, but up close, that pride is hollow and brittle, and cracks the moment true humility is required. That’s exactly how the enemy strengthens his grip — through unrepentant pride. Pride is not just a personal flaw; it is a spiritual legal right. James 4:6 says;
“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
Narcissists cling to pride like armor, shielding themselves from correction, growth, and true connection. But they don’t realize that pride draws demonic opposition like a magnet, and the spiritual impact is tremendous as they become increasingly unreachable, and deluded into believing they are above reproach.
How this plays out in your relationship:
- Constant resistance to correction, even when offered gently.
- Every disagreement becomes a courtroom where they defend themselves at all costs.
- Apologies, if they come, are shallow, meant to protect their image, not heal the relationship.
- Their pride shields the spiritual stronghold behind the behavior, trapping you in endless cycles of blame, confusion, and exhaustion.
How to protect yourself:
- Refuse to engage in battles of ego, no matter how angry or manipulative they get.
- Stay rooted in humility, where God’s grace flows freely, and avoid provoking their pride.
Tactic #3: Bitterness and Hatred
Imagine a garden overrun with thorns; neglect and resentment have turned it into something poisonous. That’s the next tactic the demons use to weaponize narcissists — bitterness and hatred. Hebrews 12:15 warns us;
“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.”
Narcissists are master record keepers; they store up offenses like ammunition, and over time, bitterness becomes their identity. Bitterness is an active doorway for spiritual oppression. Demonic spirits of hatred, revenge, and envy often feed off unresolved bitterness, and the narcissist becomes a vessel of spiritual contagion, spreading division and toxicity wherever they go.
How to protect yourself:
- Guard your heart against bitterness, lest you become the next pawn in Satan’s plan.
Tactic #4: Love of Self
Picture a mirror polished and gleaming, but instead of reflecting the image of God, it reflects only self. This is the next deep crack in the foundation — the narcissist’s love of self — especially over their love of God. Second Timothy 3:2-5 warns us;
“People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud… having a form of godliness but denying its power.”
Narcissists may appear religious or moral, they may even use spiritual language and position themselves as “good people,” but at their core, their loyalty is only to themselves, not you, and not God. This self-worship creates a massive open door to spiritual blindness and deception. The spiritual impact is delusion, as they walk in a false light, denying the true transforming power of the Holy Spirit. Where self-love abounds, you’ll see spirits of hypocrisy, idolatry, and false religion take root.
How this plays out in your relationship:
- Everything starts to revolve around them: their feelings, desires, needs, and problems.
- Every conversation turns back to them (except for corrective ones).
- Your needs, concerns, and faith will always take a back seat to their comfort.
- The relationship stops feeling like a partnership and starts feeling like an altar, with you as the sacrifice.
How to protect yourself:
- Test every spirit. Look for the true fruit of the Spirit, not just religious words.
- Remember, not every Christian label is backed by Christ.
Tactic #5: Deep-Seated Deception
Imagine standing inside a house of mirrors where you can’t tell what’s real anymore. This is the most devastating stronghold of all — their deep-seated deception. 2 Thessalonians 2:10-11 describes it when it says;
“They refused to love the truth and so be saved. Therefore God sends them a strong delusion, so that they may believe what is false.”
The narcissist who constantly lies eventually becomes a prisoner of their own deception; they don’t just tell lies, they live inside them, making them master manipulators. The spiritual impact is deadly, as they become nearly unreachable by truth. Spiritual delusion and confusion take over their thinking, and they destroy others while believing that they’re righteous.
How this plays out in your relationship:
- Conversations feel like a maze; somehow you are always wrong, misunderstood, and to blame.
- Truth gets twisted so often that you start questioning your own memory and sanity.
- You feel trapped in a world where facts don’t matter, only their version of reality does.
- The more you try to reason with them, the deeper the confusion becomes because they aren’t just lying to you, they’re living inside their own deception.
Remember, Satan isn’t satisfied with just owning them, he wants to take you down too.
How to protect yourself:
- Stay aligned with truth, even when it’s painful and everyone around you is believing their lies.
- Pray for discernment, especially when confusion tries to creep in.
- When you sense chaos and confusion around someone, recognize it as a spiritual warning.
Demonic influence doesn’t just happen to narcissists, it is the spiritual consequence of a willful rebellion, pride, bitterness, and deception. They chose darkness, and darkness chooses them back. You are not fighting people or personalities, but powers, and victory comes when you stop battling the flesh and start standing in the Spirit.
Part 2 – 6 ‘Normal’ Narcissistic Habits That Invite Demonic Influence
These six behaviors may seem normal in toxic relationships, but they are spiritually dangerous habits that invite demonic influence into your life and the relationship dynamic.
Trap #1. Religious Manipulation (aka False Light)
You expect manipulation to look dark or aggressive, but it can come wrapped in a Bible verse, with a soft voice, and all in the name of God. 2 Corinthians 11:14 reminds us that;
“Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.”
Religious manipulation is one of the most spiritually dangerous tactics a narcissist can use because it doesn’t just attack your confidence, it attacks your connection with God. This shows up when someone uses Scripture, spiritual language, or a position of authority to control, guilt, or shut you down.
What you hear:
- “God told me…” (but it always benefits them).
- “A godly woman would never question her husband.”
- “You’re not submitting to God, and that’s why it’s all falling apart.”
This is spiritual gaslighting — confusing their voice with God’s voice — and is a direct assault on your discernment and your identity in Christ.
How to come against this:
- Call it for what it is — this isn’t conviction; it’s manipulation dressed in Scripture. God doesn’t guilt, corner, or confuse His children.
- Pray boldly — ask God to expose anything masquerading as His voice and break the power of guilt, fear, or false authority.
Trap #2. Emotional Divination (aka Walking on Eggshells)
When you’re constantly scanning someone’s mood, bracing for their reaction, and adjusting yourself to avoid setting them off, you’re not just managing emotions; you’re living in emotional divination. God commands us in Leviticus 19:26 not to seek omens or practice divination, yet this is exactly what happens when someone forces you into a space where you have to read their signals, decode their silence, or anticipate their emotional fallout all before it happens.
You become hyper-attuned to their energy, tone, and vibe, stopping your listening to God’s peace and starting to chase emotional survival. It might not feel demonic, but it is soul binding. This is fear dressed up as wisdom.
How to come against this:
- Break agreement with emotional control — pray to break every agreement made with emotional fear and the belief that you must manage someone’s reactions to stay safe.
- Set emotional boundaries — you are not responsible for someone else’s emotional volatility. You are called to guard your heart and protect your emotional peace, which means stepping backwards when their presence pulls you into fear or hyper-vigilance.
Trap #3. Emotional Manipulation (aka Control Disguised as Love)
This is one of the most deceptive and spiritually suffocating forms of manipulation. It looks like love, affection, or concern, but underneath it all, it’s control. 1 Samuel 15:23 says;
“Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft…”
Emotional manipulation — like guilt-tripping, playing the victim, or love bombing — is a rebellion against a healthy, mutual connection.
What you hear:
- “After everything I’ve done for you…”
- “I guess I’m just the problem again.”
- “No one is ever going to love you the way I do.”
You bend over backwards, not out of healthy love, but because you are afraid of disappointing them or losing what little connection you still have. This isn’t love; it’s leverage.
How to come against this:
- Pray for clarity and release — ask God to show you where you’ve confused love with control, expose manipulation, and teach you what real Christ-like love looks like.
- Rebuild your internal filter — ask yourself: ‘Is this coming from love or fear? Am I giving freely or because I have to? Is this mutual or one-sided?’ God’s love is never manipulative and it never demands that you lose yourself to keep someone else.
Trap #4. Triangulation (aka Dividing Relationships)
You thought the problem was between you and another person, but the narcissist is always in the middle stirring the pot. That’s not just drama — it’s triangulation. Proverbs 16:28 says;
“A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.”
Triangulation pits people against each other to maintain control. Instead of addressing conflict directly, they drop hints, twist words, or play both sides behind the scenes.
What you hear:
- “They’re worried about how you handled that.”
- “I didn’t want to say anything, but they’ve been talking about you.”
- “I’m just trying to help the two of you get along.”
This tactic is meant to isolate you and damage your credibility, keeping the manipulator at the center of all the power. Scripture calls this perversion, a direct assault on unity, trust, and peace.
How to come against this:
- Stop playing the third side — don’t take the bait. If someone brings you information about someone else, shut it down and tell them you’d rather talk to that person directly. Refuse to let the manipulator sit in the middle and control the narrative.
- Create safe, direct communication channels — if someone tries to speak for another person, ask for a group conversation. Manipulation thrives in the shadows; truth brings alignment.
Trap #5. Word Curses (aka Identity Attacks)
Some of the deepest wounds come from words. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us;
“The tongue has the power of life and death…”
Not just hurtful words in the heat of the moment, but the phrases that are repeated, targeted, and aimed straight at your identity. This is what the Bible calls the power of the tongue, and when it’s misused, it becomes a form of word cursing.
What you hear:
- “No one’s ever going to put up with you as I do.”
- “You’re just like your father.”
- “You’ll never change.”
These are identity attacks that begin to sink in, shaping your self-image, confidence, and sense of who you are in God. Over time, they plant fear, self-doubt, and shame all in the guise of someone telling the truth, but these are not God’s words, and this is not God’s truth.
How to come against this:
- Counter the lie with God’s truth — for every curse spoken, find a truth in Scripture to replace it. For example, for “You’re too much,” use Psalm 139:14, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
- Pray to break the spiritual impact — renounce every word spoken over you that didn’t come from God’s heart and break agreement with fear, shame, and false identity.
Trap #6. The Silent Treatment (aka Withholding)
Not all abuse yells; some of it goes quiet. Withholding is a form of covert control, whether it’s affection, communication, emotional support, or spiritual intimacy. The message is clear: “Until you fall back in line with what I want you to do, I’m going to withhold myself from you.”
First Timothy 5:8 says that,
“If anyone does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, they have denied the faith and are worse than an unbeliever.”
This is the silent treatment, and it’s not a momentary boundary; it’s a punishment. It creates fear, anxiety, and depression in the one who’s being shut out. The manipulator’s goal is to maintain power while avoiding responsibility.
Provision isn’t just financial; it’s emotional, spiritual, and relational. Withholding love and presence as a tool of control is a denial of Christ-like love. When it’s spiritualized — “I’m just protecting us” or “God told me to be silent” — it becomes a twisted justification for relational neglect.
How to come against this:
- Call it for what it is — it’s punishment, not peace. This silence is controlled through emotional starvation. Validate your experience before you stand against it.
- Refuse to chase false reconciliation — you are not responsible for earning your way back into someone’s affection. If love disappears the moment you disagree, it was never love — it was leverage.
- Rebuild your peace around God’s presence, not their patterns — the only silence that heals is the kind that draws you closer to God. If someone uses silence to control you, it’s time to build boundaries that guard your heart.
Part 3 – This Demonic Trap Keeps Christians Stuck with Narcissists
Imagine standing in quicksand. You think you’re being still, patient, or humble, but without realizing it, you’re sinking because what you’re doing is pulling you under. You’re doing the wrong things in the name of Godliness. These spiritual traps look holy and feel righteous, but they slowly pull you under until you are more bound by guilt than guided by God.
So ask yourself — what if the very thing that you thought was Christ-like is actually what’s keeping you stuck?
Trap #1: Confusing Restoration with Reconciliation
Restoration is God’s heart; reconciliation, however, requires repentance. Luke 17:3 is clear:
“If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.”
Forgiveness is a command, but reconciliation is a process, and it’s conditional.
It may be a parent who spiritually guilts you into reconnecting with a toxic sibling just to keep the ‘family’ together. It might be a narcissistic ex who shows surface remorse but no real changed behaviour and you feel obligated to give them another chance all in the name of Christian love. Or, it might be a toxic friend who apologizes just enough to stay in your good graces but never owns their patterns and then you’re told you’re holding on to a grudge.
This trap is the pressure to reconcile with someone who is toxic, abusive, or unrepentant simply because they said “I’m sorry.” The core of this trap is the belief that reconciliation is unconditional and that walking away from someone unrepentant means you are unloving. But God doesn’t call you to relationship with unrepentant people, He calls you to truth and wisdom.
Remember — forgiveness clears the debt, reconciliation requires a change in direction. Don’t confuse release with return.
Trap #2: Mistaking Passivity for Patience
How many times have you said, “I’m just being patient,” or “I’m waiting on God,” when you were really shrinking back in fear or guilt, avoiding conflict, and calling it godliness? Patience is a fruit of the Spirit, but passivity is often wearing a spiritual disguise.
Jesus was patient, but not passive; he flipped tables, rebuked Peter to his face, and called out Spiritual leaders who twisted God’s word. Passivity lets evil stay comfortable. Patience stays rooted in truth while trusting in God’s timing.
How this might play out in your life:
- You may say nothing when a family member consistently disrespects your boundaries because you don’t want to cause division.
- You may be letting a toxic person continue their manipulation while telling yourself that love covers a multitude of sins, when the truth is you’re just afraid of what they’re going to think, say, or do.
- You may be avoiding a tough conversation and calling it grace, when it’s really a fear of conflict.
The core of this trap is avoiding the hard truth in the name of virtue. But Ephesians 4:15 says;
“Speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ.”
Remember — patience walks in wisdom; passivity avoids with fear. When you confuse the two, the enemy uses your silence as permission.
Trap #3: People Pleasing Disguised as Humility
This trap often sounds like, “I don’t want to sound prideful,” or “I just want to be Christ-like.” This is the hallmark of people pleasing disguised as humility. But let’s call it what it is — a fear of disapproval dressed up as a virtue; you are being hijacked by the need to be liked.
People pleasing is a counterfeit form of love that seeks peace at the expense of truth. It says yes to others even when God is saying no. Jesus never catered to people’s ego just to appear humble. He spoke the truth plainly, even when it cost him, because true humility submits to God not manipulation.
If people’s opinions can steer your choices, they are your master, not God. Galatians 1:10 says it clearly;
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
The core of this trap is confusing being liked with being Christ-like.
Remember — real humility is courageous. It doesn’t need to be seen as nice, it just needs to be faithful. The moment you stop trying to appease the crowd is the moment you start walking in true spiritual strength.
Trap #4: Trying to be Someone’s Savior
This often begins with noble intention: “Maybe God sent me to help them,” or “Maybe I’m the only one who won’t give up on them.” But that seemingly Christ-like quality is what’s going to lead you into the slippery trap of — trying to be someone’s savior. You cross the line from compassion into codependency when you try to save someone who refuses to repent or carry their own load.
You are not the Holy Spirit. When you try to be someone’s savior, you end up sabotaging yourself and enabling their sin. Even Jesus didn’t force repentance. He told the disciples;
“If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet” – Mark 6:11
You can love them, you can intercede for them, but you cannot carry the cross that they refuse to pick up.
Remember — you are called to witness to them, not be wounded by them. Only Jesus saves.
Trap #5: Letting Guilt Override Discernment
This trap is personal and painfully common. It starts with a feeling: “I’m going to feel bad if I say no,” or “What if they think I’m not Christ-like” or “Maybe I should just give them another chance.” You get stuck not because God told you to stay, but because guilt did.
Guilt is not the voice of God. When guilt overrides discernment, you silence the wisdom the Holy Spirit gave you. Your spirit says, ‘This isn’t right’, but guilt whispers, ‘They’re going to think I’m mean.’ This is not compassion, it’s confusion. It’s not obedience, it’s spiritual manipulation in disguise.
“Do not lose sight of wisdom and discretion.” – Proverbs 3:21
Remember — let the Spirit guide you, not guilt. You must trust what God has shown you, even when your emotions try to talk you out of it.
The core of this trap is allowing emotions to override Godly wisdom.
Avoiding these traps will keep you from getting stuck, but what happens when the manipulation doesn’t stop? To learn the one behavior that makes you impossible to manipulate, check out this episode next, and don’t forget to grab a copy of our free Narcissist Survival Guide.
