But as I’ll share with you today, the reality of interacting with people online can be far from wonderful. While I do receive many encouraging messages, there’s a dark side to being in the public eye that can be difficult to navigate.
In this blog post, I’ll share some of my experiences with toxic interactions from “Christians” who seem to have missed the message of love and grace that Jesus taught us.
5 Toxic Interactions with Christians
1. The Bombarder
As a counselor, I often receive messages from individuals seeking help or guidance. One message I received was from a woman who was having trouble accessing her course. Shortly after receiving the message, an alert came in from PayPal stating that a complaint was filed.
The initial knee-jerk reaction is intrusive, with no thought of the person on the other end. It’s clear that in this person’s life, they expect everyone to jump to it when they have a problem. There’s no patience, no self-control. We call this type of person the bombarder. They can’t control their anxious emotions, so they knee-jerk. And if you don’t react when expected, now there’s a problem.
Dealing with highly reactive and entitled individuals can be challenging, and unfortunately, they are one of the reasons I don’t always believe all negative reviews on products and services. As if the complaint and the follow-up email weren’t bad enough, they all happened within a 40-minute period at 10:30 on a Saturday night.
This is someone that, at best, doesn’t think before acting, and at worst, is highly reactive and severely entitled. If you find yourself dealing with a bombarder, it’s essential to take a step back and breathe. It’s not easy, but it’s crucial to remain calm and collected. Remember that you can’t control their reactions, but you can control how you respond.
2. The Entitled Christian
It is disheartening to receive messages from entitled individuals who believe that God’s word should always be free. One woman criticized me for charging for my courses and twisted scriptures to support her argument. This type of entitled behavior not only disregards the hard work and education of Christian’s (or anyone for that matter) but also undermines the biblical concept of paying laborers their wages.
It is important to acknowledge that some pastors and teachers are guilty of money-grubbing and swindling, but this does not justify criticizing every Christian creator who charges for their services. It is disrespectful and self-centered to demand that others provide their gifts and services for free. Christian creators invest thousands of hours and dollars in their education, equipment, and staffing, and it is inappropriate to ask them to work for free.
Entitlement in the Christian community is toxic and disrespectful to the hard work and education of Christian counselors. We should recognize the value of their gifts and services and support them in their efforts to spread God’s word.
3. The Keyboard Warrior
As a woman who runs a YouTube channel focused on sharing spiritual insights and guidance primarily to women, I often receive comments from viewers who disagree with my teachings. But recently, I received a comment that caught my attention and prompted me to reflect on the misconceptions and prejudices that still exist in some corners of the Christian community.
The comment read: “You’re going to hell. Have you not read 1 Corinthians 14:34-35? The women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church. Do you even read your Bible? If you did, you’d know that you were in disobedience and going to hell.”
I reject the notion that women are not authorized to speak or teach about the Word of God. On the contrary, I believe that women (and all people) have a God-given right and responsibility to share their spiritual insights and experiences with others, and to help guide others on their own journeys of faith.
In responding to this particular comment, I chose to focus not just on the content of the criticism, but also on the tone and manner in which it was delivered. While it’s natural to disagree with others’ perspectives or teachings, it’s never appropriate to resort to insults or attacks in order to make one’s point. As Christians, we are called to show love and respect to all people, even those with whom we may disagree.
4. The Toxic Mother
Have you ever had a conversation that left you completely stunned? One where you’re not quite sure how to respond or even process what just happened? Well, I had one of those recently, and it left me feeling a mix of emotions ranging from shock to sadness.
It was a phone call, and the moment I heard the tone in the woman’s voice, I knew it wasn’t going to be a pleasant conversation. She started off by saying, “Shame on you,” and I immediately knew I was in for it. According to her, her daughter had sent her a video I had made about dealing with a toxic mother, and she was outraged.
I was left feeling a mix of emotions, but the one that stood out the most was sadness. I felt sad for this woman who was clearly struggling with her mental health and unable to see that her behavior was only pushing her daughter away. I felt sad for the daughter who was trying to bridge the gap between them but met with constant resistance.
But most of all, I felt sad for the state of our society, where people are so quick to attack and judge without taking the time to understand. This woman didn’t know me or my intentions, but she was quick to condemn me based on a video her daughter had sent her.
As I reflected on the conversation, I realized that it was a reminder of why I do what I do. I create content to help people who are struggling with difficult relationships, and while I know that I can’t help everyone, I also know that I can make a difference in someone’s life.
5. The Radio Active
I recently had an experience that I like to call “Radio Active” that perfectly illustrates just how toxic some people can be.
It all started when I offered some free resources for download on my website. One person who signed up for the “Toxic People Survival Guide” reached out to me angrily, accusing me of running a scam because he didn’t receive the guide after signing up for it. I was confused because I had no intention of scamming anyone – it was a free download after all.
The truth is, toxic people like this often make everything about themselves and refuse to take responsibility for their own actions. They are quick to blame others and rarely take the time to self-reflect or problem-solve. As frustrating as it can be to deal with such people, it’s important to remember that their behavior is a reflection of themselves, not you.
In the end, this incident taught me a valuable lesson: to always approach difficult situations with empathy and understanding, even when dealing with toxic people. It’s not always easy, but it’s a necessary step towards personal growth and creating a healthier environment for ourselves and those around us.
How to deal with toxic people?
Toxic people are a reality in our lives and they can drain our energy and affect our interactions with others. It’s important to recognize toxic behavior and set healthy boundaries to protect ourselves from being pulled into the negativity.
While some may argue that we should respond with love and try to show Christ’s love, we should also be mindful of our own well-being and not allow ourselves to be dragged into arguments and toxicity.
It’s important to recognize when we are in a toxic interaction with Christians and walk away from those situations. It’s okay to focus on our own purpose and content, and trust that God will give us the grace to deal with difficult situations when necessary. Let’s not cast our pearls to pigs, but instead, protect our energy and focus on living a purposeful life.
