Narcissists aren’t just difficult people, they’re doorways for something darker, and that’s why, in this blog, we’re pulling back the veil and exposing 20 alarming ways demonic influence drives their control.
This isn’t just psychological, it’s spiritual warfare, and it’s time you saw it for what it really is.
Part 1 – 7 Demonic Influence Narcissist Carry Into Every Relationship
Demonic Influence # 1
A demonic attitude is not your run-of-the-mill bad mood.
We all have off days where frustration, impatience, or even arrogance can creep in, but these are fleeting passing moments, not defining characteristics of who we actually are. However, when someone is more influenced by darkness than by truth, their attitudes don’t just become problematic, they become downright demonic.
I want you to think of it like this – Imagine walking into a house where the foundation is rotting from the inside out, and at first glance, everything looks normal, maybe even inviting, especially if it’s decorated nicely, but step too hard on the wrong spot and the floor caves beneath you – that’s what it’s like dealing with someone whose mindset is ruled by demonic influence.
They look stable, maybe even pretty, but beneath the surface, everything is built on deception, manipulation, and destruction. And the first demonic attitude on the list is the very thing that makes everything about them feel off, yet so convincing at the same time – deception and manipulation.
The most dangerous thing about narcissists is their ability to twist reality, gaslight you, and make you question your own judgment. You could have proof right in your hands, but somehow they’ll convince you that you’re the one who’s in the wrong.
It’s not just lying, my friend, it’s warping the truth to keep control, and the enemy has been using this tactic since the beginning.
Genesis 3:1, “Did God really say that?” – and just like that, deception took root in humanity.
And when a narcissist operates under this demonic influence, they don’t just deceive – you start to doubt yourself. They twist the truth, distort facts, and reframe reality, not just to win but to weaken you.
Jesus himself exposed this type of deception when He said in John 8:44, “You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar, and the father of lies.”
When deception is at work, it’s not just a bad habit, it’s evidence of who they’re truly influenced by.
Demonic Influence #2
Have you ever felt like you’re losing yourself in a relationship? Like every decision, every thought, every action, is no longer yours? You see it starts small, so small that you don’t even notice it, but before long, you find yourself second-guessing everything because someone else has taken the wheel. This isn’t love, this is control, and that is what #2 is – control and domination – and it is one of the most insidious tactics that narcissists use to dominate their victims.
Once they hook you, narcissists use a dangerous mix of emotional blackmail, guilt, fear, and gaslighting to wear you down. At first, they present themselves as your protector, your guide, or even your savior, but in reality, they’re laying the groundwork to make sure that you submit to their authority.
Perhaps they have something you want, or perhaps something you need, but what happens when you do something they don’t like? That mask slips. Suddenly, that caring partner, friend, or family member turns rather cold, punishing, and ruthless. They treat your independence like a betrayal because they don’t want a relationship. They want control.
And here’s the kicker, their control doesn’t always look like rage or aggression. Sometimes it’s a sweet, soft-spoken manipulation disguised as concern. “I just want what’s best for you.” “You’re making a big mistake, but I’ll support you anyway.” This is deception at its highest level, and Scripture warns about it.
2 Corinthians 11:14-15 – And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise that his servants also disguise themselves as servants of righteousness.”
They don’t want a healthy equal relationship. They want to own you. No, they’ll never admit it, but the moment you step out of line, the punishment will begin.
Demonic Influence #3
The third demonic trait can best be described as a rigged courtroom where the verdict is always against you. No matter what happens, no matter how much evidence you have, the narcissist always walks away innocent, and you’re left carrying the guilt, the shame, and the blame for their actions.
Yes, narcissists are masters at blame-shifting and accusations. They are infamous for rewriting reality, not just to protect themselves, but to place the burden of responsibility onto you. And their goal isn’t just to avoid accountability, it’s to make you believe you’re the problem, like somehow everything they do wrong is your fault. They lash out – you must have provoked them. They betray you – you weren’t meeting their needs. They manipulate and deceive – you’re paranoid and overreacting.
This is more than just manipulation, this is a demonic attack on your identity, and the enemy has been using this tactic since the beginning. Satan is called the accuser for a reason. He works day and night, falsely condemning you to keep you trapped in guilt and to distort the truth.
Revelation 12:10 reveals his very strategy, and it says, “For the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God.”
And just like Satan, the narcissist thrives on false accusations, twisting truth, and keeping you in a constant state of self doubt. And the more you internalize their blame, the more power they hold over you.
The blame is not yours to carry, but the boundary is yours to set.
Demonic Influence #4
The fourth demonic trait can best be described as a perfectly polished mask covering a heart of darkness.
On the outside, they present themselves as kind, compassionate, even godly, but behind closed doors, their behavior tells a completely different story. That’s the damaging effect of the demonic attitude of hypocrisy.
It is one of the most infuriating and confusing tactics that narcissists use, especially in Christian circles. They weaponize faith, morality, and righteousness to control and manipulate others while living in direct contradiction to the very values they claim to uphold, only to turn around and use the sin you struggle with against you as a justification for their deliberate iniquity.
They demand respect, but show none. They preach about forgiveness, but hold on to bitterness. They judge others harshly while excusing their own sins. They claim to be victims when confronted, but mercilessly tear others down. And the worst part – if you ever call them out on their hypocrisy, they’ll rage with self-righteous indignation or cower in the corner and play the victim.
Narcissists love the appearance of goodness because it keeps everyone deceived. They want admiration, not transformation. And Jesus exposed this exact behavior when he rebuked the Pharisees, the religious narcissists of his day, and here’s what he said;
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.” – Matthew 23:27-28
They act like good people. They say all the right things, but behind the scenes, they manipulate, lie, and deceive without a shred of conviction. It’s nothing more than a cover for their corruption. And if you’ve ever been made to feel ‘less than’ by a self-righteous narcissist, remember this – God sees behind the mask.
Demonic Influence #5
Have you ever noticed how some people walk into a room and just act like they own it, even when they have no right to? It’s not confidence, it’s not leadership, it’s actually something much darker.
You see, demonic attitude #5 is a lot like a dictator ruling over a stolen kingdom. They act as if they hold ultimate authority, demanding submission from everyone around them, yet they have no real right to the power they claim. Every decision, every interaction, is about reinforcing their dominance, making sure that you recognize them as superior, even if they have to manipulate, intimidate, or bulldoze their way over you.
And that is the damaging effect of entitlement.
Narcissists truly believe that they deserve special treatment, that rules don’t apply to them, and that others exist to serve their needs, and they’ll demand it all without earning it.
You see, the overt narcissist will make this entitled attitude known, but beware of the vulnerable narcissist who knows well enough not to say it, but you better believe that they think it and they act on it in a very manipulative way.
And this is more than arrogance, it is the same attitude that led Satan to rebel against God. They trample over your boundaries, make manipulative comments, disregard your needs, and react with rage or tears when you don’t cater to their needs.
In their minds, they can’t fathom why they’re not getting what they want, and this is exactly what we see in Isaiah 14:13-14, where Satan declares;
“I will ascend to the heavens; I will raise my throne above the stars of God… I will make myself like the Most High.”
Just like Satan, narcissists believe that they are above others, deserving absolute power, when in reality, their authority is nothing more than an illusion, and they know it, and that’s why they’re so demanding and manipulative. They’re counting on your fear as their fuel.
Demonic Influence #6
The sixth demonic attitude can best be described by a fire that refuses to burn out, smoldering beneath the surface, waiting for the right moment to ignite again.
You see, to a narcissist, a perceived offense is never just a moment of hurt, it’s a lifelong grudge. They don’t just hold on to resentment, they nurture it, feed it, take it to lunch, and wait for the opportunity to strike back. And their version of justice isn’t about fairness, it’s about destruction, and that is the attitude of vindictiveness and unforgiveness.
Narcissists never forgive and never forget, even when you’ve moved on, even when you apologize for something maybe you didn’t even do, they still keep score. They don’t just want to be right. They want leverage.
And here’s where you’ll see the smear campaigns, the slander, the passive-aggressive comments, and the relentless attacks kick into high gear, because they can’t just hate you, they have to make sure that others hate you, too.
It’s not enough for them to walk away. They need to take everything and everyone with them, your reputation, your support system, the more they can take, the more powerful they feel. And this level of unforgiveness is more than bitterness. It is demonic vengeance.
But I have good news, you see Romans 12:19, warns us;
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine. I will repay, says the Lord.”
It may be 10 days or 10 years, but the narcissists refuse to let go. Their words may say they’ve moved on, but that vindictive fire burns within.
Demonic Influence #7
Number seven can best be described as a wolf draped in sheep’s wool – soft and innocent on the outside, but underneath, nothing but fangs and a hunger for control.
Narcissists don’t just play the victim, they weaponize it. They will abuse, manipulate, and destroy without remorse, and then turn around and convince everyone that they’re the ones who have been wronged.
Yes, narcissists love playing the victim while being the oppressor. They lie, they cheat, they manipulate, they betray, but the moment you hold them accountable, suddenly you’re the bad guy and they are the wounded, helpless victim.
This is why narcissists are so dangerous in Christian circles. They will twist scripture, cry false persecution, and pretend to be humble, while secretly tearing others down. And their ability to play both the victim and the oppressor keeps their true nature well hidden from those who just don’t know any better. And believe me, there are plenty of people out there who fall for their facade.
And if you fight back, that just proves their point, and they push you to the brink. Then, when you finally snap, they act horrified and claim that they always knew that you were unstable, abusive, or ungodly.
They recruit flying monkeys, spin false narratives, and rewrite history to cast themselves as the innocent, traumatized party. And Jesus warned us about these types of people in Matthew 7:15, where he says;
“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.”
They may cry the loudest, act the most wounded, and make others feel sorry for them, but make no mistake, the true victim in the story is the one they’ve been tearing apart behind the scenes.
Part 2 – Demonic Mind Games Narcissists Use to Manipulate You
The devil is hard at work. 1 Peter 5:8 reminds us of his schemes. Here’s what it says;
“Be sober-minded. Be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour.”
And while we often think of spiritual attacks as direct assaults that the devil is bringing against us, one thing you have to remember is that the enemy loves to work through people, especially toxic people.
Knowing that he’s not going to be able to get to you directly, not because he’s not powerful enough, but he’s not omnipotent, he’s not omnipresent, he’s not like God – he has to be able to pick his battles. So, if he can get others to do his dirty work, that makes his job a lot easier.
A lot of times, the enemy will use the narcissist to do his bidding, and they are driven by pride and arrogance, and often do not realize that they are pawns in Satan’s plan. But don’t be fooled, because they are willing participants in devising their wicked ways. Narcissists use specific, calculated games to control you, and you might be caught in their trap without even knowing it.
All narcissists control, but the overt narcissist is going to control in very obvious ways. They’re going to talk down to you, they’re going to belittle your opinions, they’re going to assert their superiority without shame, and they’re going to do this in front of people, and they will not care about the consequences. In fact, they’ll just justify their behaviors.
The covert narcissist, however, is far more cunning. What they do is carefully craft this public image that is the complete opposite of who they are behind closed doors. In public, they present themselves as kind and caring, and even vulnerable, while at home, they’re manipulating, undermining, dismissing, and subtly tearing you down. And these tactics can be much more difficult to detect, but the damage is just as real.
So, what are these insidious control tactics, and how can you protect yourself?
Mind Game #1 – Invalidation
Narcissists dismiss and undermine your thoughts, your feelings, and your experiences, making you feel unimportant or, actually, even ridiculous for expressing them. And while on the surface, this tactic may seem just simply inconsiderate or possibly a little bit selfish, it actually has a control element to it.
You see, this tactic can actually lead to your self-doubt and a diminished self-worth. They’re doing this purposely, so you begin to question whether or not your feelings and opinions are valid. And once invalidation is accomplished, they now have you under their mind control, because you’re going to start going back to them for validation.
I know, crazy, right? They’re invalidating you, but there’s something within you that now says, “I need this validation, so this must be the person that I need to go to to get it.”
They completely undermine and dismiss your thoughts and your experiences, but they’ll say things like, “Okay, I’m validating you.” Meanwhile, you’re thinking, “Okay, wait a minute, I’m hearing the right words, you’re validating me, but I don’t feel very validated.” This is one of the things that they love to do to get you under their control.
Mind Game #2 – Emotional Blackmail
Otherwise known as FOG – fear, obligation, and guilt – narcissists use emotional blackmail to coerce you into doing what they want. They’re going to threaten you, and they’re going to withdraw love, affection, and a lot of things if you don’t comply.
So they’re going to put fear into you. They’re going to make you feel obligated. And they’re going to use guilt. You’re not giving them what they want, so now you’re going to have to pay for that.
Emotional blackmail actually keeps you trapped in a relationship, afraid to make choices that could actually provoke their anger or disappointment. It has a very controlling component.
Mind Game #3 – Stonewalling
Instead of exploding in anger, like most overt narcissists do, the covert narcissist actually may use a very cold, silent rage to punish you. And here’s the insidious part – initially, you can actually see the cold, silent rage, and they’re going to punish you in that way.
The purpose is to leave you guessing what you did wrong and how to fix it. And this can create an environment of tension and especially fear. And if you struggle with any form of trauma bond or codependency, it’s going to start to make you very anxious and eager to appease them, because you just want to restore the peace.
But I have to remind you, this is a control tactic. They will allow themselves to get triggered. They will allow themselves to get pushed to that edge, thinking they have control, and when all else fails, they can just blame you.
You said it wrong. You brought it to my attention incorrectly. The Stars weren’t lined up the right way on a Tuesday afternoon. There’s something wrong with what YOU did, which prompted them to have to rage out on you. It is a complete control tactic.
Author and renowned marriage counseling expert, John Gottman, labels stonewalling as one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, almost guaranteed to destroy a marriage or any relationship. Because what stonewalling says is, “I’m not dealing with you. You don’t even exist. You don’t mean enough to me to have enough courtesy to give you the time of day.”
Now, depending on the covert narcissist, stonewalling can last anywhere from eight hours to eight days, and in some cases, eight months. And what they’re looking to do is to get you to chase them – and you likely do, because you’re a peacemaker.
You want to restore peace in the relationship. You want that compatibility. You likely didn’t do everything right – because which one of us ever does – maybe you had reactive abuse, maybe you yelled, or perhaps you cursed and called them a name, or just said something that you shouldn’t have said. You, as the emotionally healthy person, are now going to retreat a little bit and decide that you were wrong, and then you’re going to go back and you’re going to look to restore the relationship.
Now I’m not saying that you should not repent for your part, but I really need you to be careful, because this is how the enemy trains you to behave. You’re going to go back and you’re going to repent of your part, but now suddenly they’re going to assume that you’re repenting for the whole thing and that the control tactic worked.
Mind Game #4 – Love Bombing
I also like to refer to this control tactic as grooming. You see, the covert narcissist will carefully select and cultivate their victims, often choosing ones that are empathetic, kind and vulnerable. And then they groom you to become more dependent and submissive. But here’s the funny part, it’s that dependency and submissiveness later on that they actually despise.
Love bombing and grooming can make you more vulnerable to manipulation and control as you become increasingly reliant on the narcissist for emotional support, validation, attention, affection, and whatever they’re buying you or whatever they’re doing for you. See, narcissists, especially the covert ones, are masters at people watching. Have you ever noticed that they have the same interests as you, the same likes as you, the same goals in life as you? That’s not a coincidence, that’s love bombing.
That’s when they come in and they pretend you have so much in common and that you’re clearly meant to be together. And the next thing you know, they’re proposing to you in five days, and they’re trying to get you trapped. Why? Because grooming and love bombing are a lot of work.
They’re spending money they don’t want to spend. They’re giving attention and affection they don’t want to give. And all of this is a give-to-get component. They want to make sure that you are fully groomed to be able to meet their needs later. Narcissists are masters at the long game.
They know that this isn’t going to be a quick investment, but they do have to secure their investment quickly, which is why they come in so hard and so hot in the beginning, and if you have any vulnerability, it’s going to make you a target.
Maybe you’re starving for attention or affection, or maybe you can’t make your rent. Or perhaps they have this status that you’ve always craved, whatever it is, it will be used against you, and they’re going to play on that.
Covert narcissists are going to shower you with excessive attention and affection to reel you in only to later devalue you by stonewalling. They’re going to withdraw that affection. They’re going to start the criticism. They’re going to start creating that self-doubt, but because you’re so hooked, you stay in it. And you try to get back to that place where you were when they were ‘so wonderful.’
But it wasn’t real. So, if you are stuck in that cycle right now, I need you to be able to put that aside and go by what you’re seeing now. What are they demonstrating to you now? Because I can assure you, you are not getting back to how it was.
Remember, narcissists are demonically driven, so they’re going to be far more cunning. They know that they can’t continue to stonewall you, criticize you, and create self-doubt in you, so they’re going to start to drop some compliments here and there. They’re going to start to ‘future fake’ you – “oh yeah, we’re going to do this with our future,” and “oh, I can’t wait to get this done.” But all the while, it is just a control tactic, and it is designed to keep you off balance.
Mind Game #5 – Triangulation
The narcissist brings a third party into the relationship. Now this can actually be the real or imagined, but let’s work with the real for now. They look to create jealousy, insecurity, and competition, and this tactic is designed to keep you feeling inadequate, dependent, and constantly vying for the narcissist’s approval.
So what does this actually look like? Think of a triangle. You’ve got three points, and the only thing in common is the narcissist. They’re going to talk about this person to that one and that person to this one. They’re going to complain to this one about that one and that one to this one. But they’re very, very careful never to bring them together.
This triangulation is actually insidious because they love to be the hero and the victim. When it comes to a covert narcissist, they’re always the hero and always the victim, and they’re going to play this to both parties, which is why they can’t bring them together. Because if these two parties ever talk, they’re going to recognize something’s off.
The narcissist often creates division or competition so that each of those parties is going to hate the other one and not even realize it. This often happens when the narcissist moves on to their ‘new supply,’ and suddenly you become the crazy ex, or the one with borderline or bipolar, or perhaps the narcissist. But remember, they have to be the hero and the victim, so to that ‘new supply,’ they’re going to be the hero who tolerated you all those years, and then they’re going to be the victim who was now party to your abusive behavior.
So now what happens is the ‘new supply’ thinks, “Oh my goodness, you are just so wonderful. How could you have ever tolerated something like that? Poor you. I will be everything that this person was not.” And in the meantime, they can’t stand you.
You see what just happened? They just pitted you apart. When, in reality, if you actually had access to that ‘new supply,’ you’d say something like, “you may want to run for the hills.”
So they have to create that division, and then all the while, they’ll constantly compare them to you, further solidifying that hatred.
This also happens a lot of times in family dynamics, especially among siblings. I have yet to see a toxic family that did not have sibling division, because toxic parents create that division. They play one child against the other. One is on the pedestal, while the other is in the pit, and they always keep them separated. They will share dark secrets about each other, they’ll share dark secrets with each other, and then eventually something implodes, and then they switch to the other sibling.
I could just keep going on and on about triangulation, but it is one of those mind games that they will use because they have to play the hero and the victim.
Mind Game #6 – Pity Plays
Narcissists have to play the victim. They don’t know any other position. And when it comes to covert narcissists, you’re going to see two people at play – the bully and the victim.
They’re going to bully you as much as they can. They’re going to push and push and push, but remember, they’re cowards. Only cowards bully people. Only cowards come in when they know that you’re weak or you’re down or there’s a chink in your armor. Only a coward would do that. A truly noble and honorable person, even if they don’t like you, is not going to look to exploit you. So the narcissist is going to play that bully, and the more they were bullied in their childhood, the more they’re going to bully today.
Now, eventually, either the law catches up with them, some attorney smacks them down, or you just don’t give them what they’re looking for, so they quickly shift to the victim.
Do you see that extreme? The bully over here, saying, “I’m going to destroy you. I’m going to take you down, even if it’s just your reputation,” quickly switches and now says, “Oh no, I’m now the victim.”
There is no healthy component to how they are going to relate to you, and they’re going to exploit your compassion by portraying themselves as victims of circumstance.
A lot of times, these covert narcissists often exaggerate or even fabricate hardships to elicit sympathy and then manipulate you into taking care of them. They actually train you to do or not do whatever it is they want.
So it is a complete control tactic, and they know what they’re doing. They know how they present themselves, and they know how they come across. They tap into your empathy, which will make it difficult for you to set boundaries or say no, because you’re going to feel compelled to help them – after all, who turns down somebody that needs help, who is going to turn down a victim? You never would.
But the problem at play here is that they’re not truly victims. You got played.
Mind Game #7 – Blaming
Covert narcissists will refuse to take any responsibility for their actions. Instead, they’re going to blame you for everything that goes wrong, regardless of the facts. I want you to remember this, Satan is the accuser of the brethren – everything is going to get pushed back onto you.
Over time, this is going to start to erode your self-esteem because it makes you believe that you are always at fault. Why? Because you are a compassionate, empathetic, kind, sensitive person who’s willing to own their mistakes. So you’re going to step back and ask, “What part did I play in this?” and in order to re-establish that connection, you are going to assume responsibility more and more and more.
A lot of times, covert narcissists will blame you for everything, and because we all have areas within our relationships and within ourselves that we need to improve, we tend to take the responsibility. But the truth is, this is a diversion game. It’s just another way to get what they want from you and avoid accountability.
That is exactly what this demonic mind game is – the blame game is the avoidance of accountability.
Remember this, in their mind, if you assume responsibility for anything, you assume responsibility for everything. You get the narcissistic flip – when you present an issue to them, everything is now going to get flipped back on you. Everything that you bring up is now going to get thrown back in your face.
All of this is just a diversion and an avoidance of accountability – and it’s demonic.
Mind Game #8 – Projection
If you want to know what covert narcissists are thinking and what they’re doing, just close your mouth and listen to the words that they’re accusing you of, because they will accuse you of the very things they are guilty of.
Narcissists have intense shame. They know what they’re doing, and they have to offload the shame because they know it’s wrong. It’s like that preacher or that pastor on the pulpit who’s preaching about purity and chastity, meanwhile, they’re having six adulterous affairs. That projection has to go outward.
They can’t deal with this inwardly, so they project it outwardly, and now they can deal with it in you. And this can drive you crazy, because you don’t lie, you don’t cheat, you’re not manipulative. That’s just not you. And you find yourself in a position where you are now defending yourself. You’re now left confused, and you may even start to question your own integrity.
Instead of recognizing this for the demonic tactic that it is, we often double down to make sure that they know that that’s not us. “I’ll give you proof.” “I’ll show you I’m not lying.” “I’ll show you that I’m not cheating.”
It’s a control tactic, and believe me when I tell you that whatever they’re accusing you of is likely what they’re doing themselves.
Mind Game #9 – Gaslighting
This is the ultimate in the demonic mind games. Gaslighting involves the deliberate and systematic undermining of your perception of reality. It makes you question your own memories, your thoughts, and even your own sanity.
Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic used by narcissists to make you doubt yourself. It involves them denying, twisting, or distorting the facts or just flat out telling you they’re not true, which makes you question your memory, your perceptions, and your sanity.
You are not crazy! They will deny facts, and they will tell you that what you heard or what you saw, just was simply not true. Even when you can clearly remember it, they’re going to twist your reality. They’re going to manipulate past events, making you feel like you’re overreacting or being overly sensitive. They’re going to minimize your feelings and dismiss your emotions as irrational, saying you’re just being dramatic. They’re going to create confusion, and they’re going to mix praise with criticism, keeping you off balance, so you doubt your own judgment.
And then, a lot of times, they’ll isolate you. They want to cut you off from family and friends and go back to triangulation – increasing your reliance on them for what’s real.
Isn’t that crazy? They’re the ones getting you to doubt your own reality, but you keep going back to them for a reality check.
Gaslighting is going to leave you feeling confused and insecure, and actually dependent on the narcissist for validation. It’s a total mind game, and they get it from their father of lies.
The covert narcissist will use every one of these destructive and manipulative tactics to keep their unsuspecting victims under their control, and their methods are incredibly shrewd. They always have an escape plan to avoid accountability. Confront them and they’ll shift the blame back onto you. It is part of their strategy to twist your reality and keep you doubting yourself.
And if that doesn’t work, they’ll turn into an intensified version of any of the mind games we just discussed – whether it’s gaslighting, guilt tripping, playing the victim – they will have a way of making you question your own perceptions while maintaining their facade of innocence, and this constant shifting of the narrative is going to keep you off balance.
They want you to second-guess yourself. They want you to feel trapped in their web of control. And they’re cunning lies will always provide them a back door, out of responsibility, leaving you feeling like you’re the one at fault.
You will never get a narcissist to admit where they’ve gone wrong. They may say they’re sorry, they may say they did something wrong, but their repentance will be very general, while your sins are going to be spelled out in detail.
Here’s a dead giveaway – covert narcissists will elevate themselves at the expense of others.
Isaiah 14:13 says, “You said in your heart, I will ascend to heaven above the stars of God. I will set my throne on high. I will sit on the mount of the assembly in the far reaches of the North. I will ascend above the heights of the clouds. I will make myself like the most high.”
Who said that? The biggest narcissist of all, Satan.
What You Should Do
I want you to start trusting your discernment. If you get drawn in by a narcissist, where you’re captivated by their charm, they’re meeting a need, or you’re just a loyal person and you want to stay devoted to this relationship, start trusting your judgment.
If something feels wrong, it probably is. And if you’re sensing something is off, definitely take it to the Lord in prayer.
I also want you to start journaling this relationship, because narcissists will create a mental mess. Start keeping a record of conversations and events, not so you can use it against them, but for your own clarity. You’ll start to notice patterns, and then you’ll clearly see that you’re not crazy.
The next thing I want you to do is to seek support. Talk to your friends, your family, a counselor, your pastor, anybody. Not to gossip or share personal information, but for support. Talk to somebody who is going to be able to speak truth – the truth of the situation and the truth of God’s Word. Narcissists confide in other people, but they don’t confide in godly people because they know that they’re going to be held accountable. I want you to confide in godly people because you need an objective perspective.
The last thing that I want you to do is set boundaries. Whether you need to limit your interactions when gaslighting events start to occur, or just start to guard your heart, you have to start setting boundaries. When this person is blame shifting on you, stop the conversation. But please don’t exchange toxic for toxic – they will turn that on you as well. At the very least, don’t allow these lies and control tactics to begin to penetrate you.
Part 3 – 8 Demonic Ways Narcissists Mess With Your Mind
Narcissists will use a variety of tactics to control, confuse, and dominate you on every level – emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. And these methods are specifically designed to sever your connection to the truth, therefore leaving you more susceptible to their manipulation.
It’s kind of like being caught in a spider web. At first, the strands seem delicate, almost harmless, but the more you try to navigate the situation, the tighter the web becomes, pulling you deeper and deeper into the trap.
Maybe you mistake their manipulation for love, or you find yourself over-explaining in an attempt to help them understand, or perhaps you just simply go along to get along, and before you realize it, you are completely entangled in their web of control.
Sign #1 – Gaslighting
Sign #1 can best be described as walking through a thick fog. At first, you think you know where you’re going and you’re confident in your steps, but with each moment, the fog grows denser, blurring your surroundings, making you question if you’re still on the right path. And the more you try to find your way, the more disoriented you become, until you’re totally unsure of what’s real and what isn’t.
This is the effect of gaslighting. It’s subtle at first, but before long, you’re completely lost, doubting your own reality, all of your perceptions, and even your memories. And the clearer you try to see, the more confusing everything becomes.
Narcissists frequently use gaslighting to make you doubt your own reality. They twist facts, deny things they said or did, or manipulate situations to make you question your own perceptions. Spiritually, this can be seen as a form of demonic deception intended to sow confusion and weaken your confidence in yourself and even in God. They know the truth, they don’t want you to know the truth, so they twist the truth.
John 8:44 reminds us where this type of behavior comes from when it says, “You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”
This tactic isn’t something recently coined by psychology. This deception has been around since the fall of Satan. And Satan’s purpose, and the narcissist’s, is to destabilize you, mentally and spiritually, by making you doubt what is true.
Sign #2 – Manipulation Through Emotional Control
Here, you’re like a puppet on a string. At first, you believe you’re in control, making your own choices, but little by little, someone else is pulling the strings, guiding your every move. You start off confident, but with every tug, you’re steered in a different direction, until you can’t even tell where your desires end and theirs begin. This is the essence of manipulation through emotional control.
Narcissists know how to pull at your heart strings, using guilt and fear and insecurity to bend your actions to their will, all the while making you believe you’re still in charge. They are master manipulators who weaponize your emotions, turning your love, loyalty, and vulnerabilities into tools that they can use for control and ultimately use against you. Later, they operate like Satan, the ultimate deceiver, who presents himself as an angel of light, seeming righteous while leading you astray.
And we see this reflected in 2 Corinthians 11:14-15. “And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness.”
Their behavior isn’t just manipulative, it’s demonic, as it seeks to override your free will, drawing you further into their control.
Sign #3 – Isolation Through the Spirit of Division
Sign #3 is like being slowly walled off from the wall around you. At first, it’s so subtle that you don’t even notice it’s happening. Small remarks about your friends, innocent-seeming suggestions to spend more time alone, or subtle criticisms of the people in your life. At first, it seems like they’re just looking out for you, but over time, these comments become bricks, slowly building a wall between you and the people you once found so dear.
Eventually, you find yourself cut off from your friends, your family, and even your faith, and what started as subtle guidance has turned into a complete separation from the relationships that once gave you strength. Now you’re completely dependent upon the narcissist, and they’ve created a divide that makes them the only source of connection and influence in your life.
This is isolation through the spirit of division – a demonic tactic that seeks to separate you from the truth, from support systems, and from people who care about you. Narcissists thrive in division, leaving you more vulnerable and dependent on them.
James 3:16 says, “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”
Narcissists are driven by their own selfish ambition. They create disorder by sowing division in your life. And this isolation isn’t just physical, it’s emotional, and spiritual, and it is a strategy to pull you further away from those who would tell you the truth and deeper into their control.
Sign #4 – Mind Games
Sign #4 is like being trapped in a hall of mirrors – every time you think you’ve found clarity, the reflection changes, it distorts reality, and makes you question what’s true – and that’s because narcissists use Mind Games and mixed messages to keep you constantly off balance.
One day they’re warm and loving, and the next day they’re cold and distant, and you try to adjust. You work on yourself, and you try not to let it bother you so much, but no matter what you do, they’re always shifting. Making it impossible for you to feel secure in the relationship until you try to disengage, only to then be blamed for not loving them enough.
Their mind mess thrives on confusion, making you question your own thoughts, actions and even memories, and you start wondering, “Did I misinterpret that?” “Did I say something wrong?” But the truth is, they’re constantly moving the target, keeping you stuck in a mental fog, searching for the approval and stability that they never intended to give.
And while this is intentional in many ways, one thing to remember is that the target is always moving for them as well. One minute they’re feeling superior, the next, their self-esteem is in the trash. One minute, they’re confident in their decisions, the next, they’re blaming you for everything wrong in their lives. And this is the spirit of confusion, a tactic used to disorient and control.
Narcissists create chaos to keep you in a state of uncertainty, relying on them for direction and validation, and they thrive in this because they love chaos. So it’s not necessarily intentional. It actually comes naturally for them, and the more confused you are, the more power they have over your life.
But 1 Corinthians 14:33 tells us that “God is not the God of confusion but of peace.”
Where there is confusion, disorder, and constant mixed signals, it is clear that God’s peace is absent, and where God is absent, you know who is present and hard at work.
Sign #5 – False Accusations
Sign #5 feels like being constantly put on trial for crimes you didn’t commit. Narcissists can’t help but use false accusations and blame shifting to make you feel guilty for things that aren’t your fault. They turn the tables on you, accusing you of the behaviors and the mistakes that are often a reflection of what they’ve actually done wrong.
It is classic projection, and it is demonic.
No matter how hard you try to explain yourself, they twist your words and manipulate the situation to make you look like the problem. Their tactic is simple – by putting you on the defensive, accusing you of the very things that they are doing, they deflect attention away from their own actions, and you find yourself apologizing for things you didn’t do, constantly trying to prove that you are not the one at fault, and all the while, the attention is successfully diverted away from their evil behavior.
This keeps you trapped in a cycle of guilt and confusion while the narcissist avoids any responsibility for their own behavior. This tactic mirrors the work of Satan as the accuser, constantly attacking, blaming, and tearing others down to hide their own darkness.
In Revelation 12:10 we read, “For the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God.”
Just like Satan is the accuser of the brethren. Narcissists operate in the same way, falsely accusing and shifting blame to keep you disempowered and on the defensive.
Sign #6 – Love Bombing
Sign #6 is like being on an emotional roller coaster. One minute you’re lifted high, and the next you are plummeting down. Narcissists use love bombing and devaluation to keep you constantly guessing.
At first, they overwhelm you with affection and praise, and they put you on a pedestal, giving you all the attention, making you feel like you’re the most important person in the world. But just as quickly, that love and attention are yanked away, leaving you feeling confused and desperate.
This emotional high, followed by a sudden low, is a tactic of control. By flooding you with love and then devaluing you, narcissists keep you chasing after the validation that you once received, all the while making you question your own worth.
One moment, they treat you like you’re perfect, and the next, they make you feel like nothing you do is enough. This cycle is designed to keep you hooked, constantly trying to regain their affection.
Narcissists love to be chased. It’s all part of that spirit of control that narcissists use – the extreme emotional shifts to manipulate your feelings, keep you dependent upon their approval, and chase after them for the next high.
It is a toxic cycle that can leave you emotionally drained and constantly questioning your self-worth.
The Bible warns us about those who manipulate others for their own gain, and it’s found in 2 Peter 2:3 where it says, “And in their greed they will exploit you with false words.”
Watch out! Narcissists exploit your emotions, using false love to control you and then devalue you to keep you in line. This isn’t just a personality flaw. This is a spiritual attack designed to keep you trapped in a cycle of seeking validation from someone who never truly values you.
Sign #7 – No Responsibility
Have you ever tried to argue with a brick wall? Well, that’s what sign #7 can feel like. No matter how clear the issue is, no matter how compelling your case, no matter how much evidence you present, the narcissist just will not take responsibility.
In fact, the more you press, the more they avoid, and oftentimes in ways that completely shut down communication altogether. That’s because they cannot and do not, and will not take responsibility for their actions. When things go wrong, it’s always someone else’s fault. You could be talking about something obvious, something they clearly did, but instead of owning up to it, they turn the blame back on you or someone else.
It’s exhausting. It leaves you feeling frustrated, like you’re the only one trying to work through issues, because the truth is, you are. Their refusal to acknowledge their mistakes comes from a deep-rooted spirit of pride.
Narcissists view themselves above reproach, admitting fault would shatter that fragile self-image. So rather than deal with the truth, they deflect, twist, and manipulate the situation, leaving you carrying the emotional, mental, and physical weight of their mistakes.
This isn’t just immaturity or some simple case of stubbornness. It’s pride, and it’s a spiritual cancer that narcissists refuse to be held accountable. And isn’t that what Satan did when he said, “I will be like the Most High?”
But Proverbs 16:18 warns us that, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”
Narcissists are driven by pride. Their arrogant refusal to take responsibility not only harms their relationships but is also a sign of deeper spiritual issues. They will do anything to avoid accountability, making their pride not just frustrating, but demonically dangerous to anyone trying to connect with them.
Sign #8 – Intimidation and Fear
If you’ve ever felt like you are constantly walking on eggshells, never knowing when the next blow-up is going to come, you have experienced Sign #8 – the narcissist’s use of intimidation and fear.
This demonic tactic is designed to keep you in check. Sometimes it’s overt, like threats or angry outbursts, and at other times, it’s a bit more subtle, like that disapproving look or that all-famous silent treatment. Either way, the message is clear, ‘If you don’t fall in line, you’re going to pay,’ and isn’t this just how Satan operates? Punishment is served up like a trap waiting to snap shut the moment you step out of line.
So, who wouldn’t end up feeling anxious, always second-guessing themselves, afraid to upset them and say the wrong thing with a person like that, and this fear doesn’t just come from their anger? It’s about power.
Narcissists thrive on keeping you scared and unsure, making you more likely to bend to their will, and then that spirit of fear takes hold of you, making you feel powerless, as though the only option is to stay quiet and compliant. Slowly, you start to avoid conflict, thinking that if you just keep the peace, everything will be okay. But the reality is, they’ve created an environment where you’re always on edge, never truly safe.
And this isn’t just a relationship issue. This is a spiritual battle, and the Bible tells us that fear is not from God. Yes, we have a fear of God, but not of man.
2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us, “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
The fear and intimidation that narcissists use are tools of the enemy, and they are designed to break down your sense of safety and self-worth. Every single one of these tactics has the same goal. They are to mess with your mind. And because the enemy knows that everything begins in the mind, he can create confusion, self-doubt, emotional exhaustion, and spiritual disconnection, and he’s then got you right where he wants you. And where do you think the narcissist has learned his or her tricks?
If you don’t understand the demonic spirits behind narcissism, you too could be caught in their web of destruction. So to discover those undeniable signs that prove that narcissists actually are controlled by demons, I want you to be sure to check out this episode next. And for practical and spiritual tips to deal with the narcissists in your life, be sure to grab a copy of our free Narcissist Survival Guide.
