Have you ever watched a narcissist go from completely normal to someone you barely recognize?
One minute you are having a conversation. The next, there is a rage in their eyes, a cruelty in their words, or a level of manipulation that leaves you thinking, What just happened?
And if you are a Christian, you may have wondered something even more unsettling:
Is there something spiritual going on here?
Could demonic influence be playing a role in the narcissistic behavior you are witnessing?
Because if there is, and Jesus has given believers authority over demonic forces, then why can’t you just take authority, cast the demon out, and finally put an end to this?
And more importantly, should you?
What if what you are dealing with is not what you think it is?
What if you are trying to cast out something that cannot be cast out?
And what if stepping into a spiritual battle you do not fully understand could actually make matters worse?
To answer those questions, we need to understand what may actually be operating behind some narcissistic behavior, the authority believers have in Jesus Christ, and one critical distinction you need to understand before trying to exercise that authority.
Is Narcissistic Behavior Demonic?
There is no question that many of the characteristics we associate with narcissism line up disturbingly well with things Scripture warns us about.
Pride. Arrogance. Selfish ambition. Envy. Manipulation. Strife. Rebellion. Deception.
James 3:14-16 says that where there is bitter envy and selfish ambition, there will also be disorder and “every evil practice.” James describes that kind of wisdom as earthly, unspiritual, and demonic.
So when someone continually embraces these behaviors, not struggling against them or repenting of them, but defending and practicing them, we are certainly not looking at a life surrendered to the lordship of Jesus Christ.
And that raises an interesting question.
Jesus gave His followers authority over demonic forces.
In Luke 10:19, Jesus told His disciples,
“I have given you authority…to overcome all the power of the enemy.”
Throughout the Gospels, we also see Jesus’ disciples casting out demons in His name.
So, it would seem reasonable to ask:
If this narcissistic person is under demonic influence, and you, as a blood-bought follower of Jesus Christ, have authority over demons, can’t you just cast it out?
Not so fast.
You need to understand something important before deciding on a solution.
Not Every Bad Behavior Is a Demon
There is a large deliverance movement in some Christian circles today that can make it sound as though every bad behavior has a demon attached to it.
A demon of pride.
A demon of anger.
A demon of lust.
A demon of idolatry.
At some point, we are going to have a demon of cookies.
You name the behavior, and somebody somewhere is probably trying to cast a demon out of it.
But Scripture gives us a more complicated picture.
Not everything is a demon.
Sometimes it is the flesh.
Galatians 5:19-21 gives us an entire list of what Paul calls “the works of the flesh,” including hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, and envy.
Then there is genuine demonic activity.
So, we need discernment.
For the sake of this discussion, I am going to distinguish between three ways Christians commonly describe demonic activity: possession, oppression, and influence.
These are not three formal categories that Scripture lays out for us in a chart. They are simply useful descriptions for understanding different degrees or expressions of demonic involvement.
Demonic Possession
What we commonly call demonic possession is the clearest and most severe form.
We see an example in the Gerasene man in Mark 5:1-20. His behavior, speech, physical actions, and even his interaction with Jesus were profoundly affected by the demons operating within him.
There are varying biblical examples of demonic possession, but when you are dealing with that level of demonic control, you are dealing with something far beyond ordinary bad behavior.
Demonic Oppression
Then there is what Christians commonly refer to as demonic oppression.
This can be much more subtle and more difficult to distinguish.
I have seen situations where a person can appear completely normal until you challenge them.
Until you expose something.
Until you confront a weakness.
Until you require something of them.
Then suddenly, you find yourself thinking:
What on earth just happened to this person?
It can feel like you are watching them become someone else right in front of you.
But please do not confuse that with someone simply becoming defensive or having anger issues.
People can behave horribly without having a demon.
All of us have flesh that needs to be crucified and minds that need to be renewed.
Ephesians 4:22-24 reminds believers to put off the old self, be renewed in the spirit of our minds, and put on the new self.
So, I am not talking about every temper tantrum, selfish decision, or ugly reaction.
I am talking about situations where there appears to be something spiritually darker operating beneath the behavior, potentially involving demonic influence.
And that requires discernment, not assumption.
How Does the Enemy Gain Ground?
If there is something darker operating beneath the behavior, the next question is: How did it get there?
How does the enemy gain enough ground in someone’s life to begin influencing the way they think, react, and behave?
How can demonic influence become part of a person’s patterns of thinking and behavior?
Scripture repeatedly warns us not to give Satan an opportunity.
Ephesians 4:26-27 says,
“Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
That word foothold matters.
Persistent, unrepentant sin can allow the enemy to work.
That does not mean every sin invites a demon.
It certainly does not mean every dysfunctional behavior is evidence of demonic oppression.
But Scripture repeatedly warns us about agreeing with darkness.
That is why we are told to guard our hearts in Proverbs 4:23, renew our minds in Romans 12:2, take our thoughts captive in 2 Corinthians 10:5, resist the devil in James 4:7, and remain sober and vigilant in 1 Peter 5:8-9.
The enemy looks for opportunities.
Unfortunately, people who grow up in dysfunctional environments can develop deeply dysfunctional patterns involving anger, control, manipulation, fear, shame, or deception that the enemy can exploit.
That does not mean childhood dysfunction itself put a demon in someone.
It means wounds, lies, and unrepentant patterns can become territory the enemy uses to deepen deception and establish demonic influence.
So yes, someone can appear completely normal in one area of life while demonstrating profound spiritual darkness in another.
Even someone who claims to be a Christian.
And the keyword there may be claims.
Jesus Himself said in Matthew 7:21,
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven.”
The Enemy Wants Maximum Impact
But this gets bigger than what may be happening inside the narcissistic person.
The enemy’s goal is not simply to gain influence over one person.
The real question is: What can he accomplish through that person?
Think about some of the forces Scripture associates with evil:
Pride.
Envy.
Control.
Strife.
Division.
Deception.
Accusation.
The enemy is not interested only in destroying the narcissistic person.
He wants maximum impact.
Jesus said in John 10:10 that the thief comes to “steal, kill and destroy.”
So if he can exploit one person’s pride, manipulation, rage, or deception to destabilize an entire family, destroy a marriage, divide siblings, confuse children, wreck someone’s confidence, or pull another believer’s attention away from God, he will exploit it.
The damage does not necessarily stop with the person engaging in the behavior.
And that is where you need to be careful.
Their Dysfunction Can Begin Producing Dysfunction in You
You may not have a demon.
Please hear me.
I am not saying that being around a narcissistic person means you have a demon.
But their behavior can begin shaping your behavior.
Their chaos can make you reactive.
Their manipulation can make you obsessive.
Their accusations can consume your thoughts.
Their anger can make you fearful.
Their instability can make you controlling.
Suddenly, their dysfunction is producing dysfunction in you.
That is why my heart is always to bring you back to Jesus Christ instead of keeping you perpetually focused on what these people are saying and doing.
And I know how incredibly difficult that can be.
They are in your face.
Criticizing.
Belittling.
Manipulating.
Demanding.
Acting entitled.
It is exhausting.
And what happens when you become exhausted?
Your guard comes down.
It is like a child screaming and screaming for a candy bar until eventually you say:
“Fine. Take the candy bar.”
You know you are probably creating a bigger problem later.
But right now?
You just want five minutes of peace.
That is exactly how unhealthy patterns get reinforced.
And this is where we need to go one layer deeper.
Another Layer: Demonic Influence
Sometimes what you are dealing with is not possession.
It may not even be what many Christians would call oppression.
Sometimes you may be dealing with demonic influence.
First Peter 5:8 says,
“Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
Something important to remember is that Satan is not God’s equal and opposite adversary.
Not even close.
God is omnipotent.
God is omniscient.
God is omnipresent.
Satan is none of those things.
He cannot be everywhere wreaking havoc with everyone.
Scripture does, however, describe an organized kingdom of spiritual evil.
Ephesians 6:12 speaks of rulers, authorities, powers of this dark world, and spiritual forces of evil.
Those forces can work through influence.
They tempt.
Deceive.
Accuse.
Entice.
Torment.
Jesus called Satan the “father of lies” in John 8:44.
First Thessalonians 3:5 calls him “the tempter.”
Revelation 12:10 calls Satan “the accuser.”
So, imagine a narcissistic person who already has a strong bent toward selfishness.
The enemy does not necessarily need to possess that person to tempt them with thoughts such as:
Think about yourself.
You deserve better.
They’re disrespecting you.
You’re the victim here.
Get even.
Punish them.
Don’t apologize.
You did nothing wrong.
Every time that person agrees with the temptation instead of resisting it, the pattern can become stronger.
James describes the process in James 1:14-15,
“Each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin.”
Notice something extremely important here.
The person still has responsibility.
You cannot blame everything on the devil.
There is human desire.
There is temptation.
Then there is a choice.
Struggle Is Different From Surrender
There is a difference between someone who struggles with sin and someone who has surrendered to it.
Struggle says,
“I know this is wrong. I hate that I keep doing this. God, help me change.”
Surrender says,
“I’m doing it, I’m defending it, and I’m blaming you for making me do it.”
Those are very different postures.
All the while, God can still be calling that person to repentance.
Second Peter 3:9 tells us that God is patient, “not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”
But Scripture also gives us sobering warnings about continually rejecting God.
Romans 1 repeatedly uses the phrase,
“God gave them over…”
Romans 1:28 specifically says that because they did not see fit to acknowledge God, “God gave them over to a depraved mind.”
First Timothy 4:2 also describes consciences becoming “seared as with a hot iron.”
That is why persistent, unrepentant sin is so serious.
A person can become increasingly hardened.
Increasingly deceived.
Increasingly resistant to truth.
And that can become incredibly discouraging when you are trying to maintain a relationship with someone like this.
Because eventually you realize:
There is nothing you are going to say that will make them surrender.
You cannot argue someone into repentance.
You cannot love someone into repentance.
You cannot boundary someone into repentance.
You cannot explain yourself perfectly enough to produce repentance.
That requires the work of the Holy Spirit and their willingness to respond to Him.
And if they are unwilling to submit to God, what makes you think they will eventually submit to you?
So, Can You Cast the Demon Out of a Narcissist?
Now we have come full circle to the all-important question.
If demons are operating around this person, can’t you simply cast them out and finally set this person free?
Then they will be free to love you properly.
They will be free to love God properly.
They will finally become the person you know they could be.
Believe me when I tell you this, my friend:
God wants their freedom even more than you do.
But it is not that simple.
If you are truly dealing with demonic possession or severe demonic oppression, Scripture absolutely gives us examples of demonic spirits being commanded to leave in the authority of Jesus Christ.
But this is where we need tremendous caution.
You cannot cast out someone’s selfishness.
You cannot cast out someone’s lack of character.
You cannot cast out someone’s victim mentality.
In other words, you cannot cast out the flesh.
What If There Really Is a Demon?
But what if there really is a demon and it is successfully cast out?
Is the problem solved?
Not necessarily.
In fact, Jesus gives us a sobering warning.
Matthew 12:43-45 says that when an unclean spirit leaves a person, it travels through arid places seeking rest. Then it says,
“I will return to the house I left.”
When it returns, it finds the house,
“unoccupied, swept clean, and put in order.”
Do not miss that word:
Unoccupied.
The spirit then returns with seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and Jesus says,
“The final condition of that person is worse than the first.”
In other words, deliverance without transformation is not the goal.
You do not simply want something evil removed.
You want that person’s life surrendered to Jesus Christ.
You want repentance.
Salvation.
Renewal.
Sanctification.
The filling and leadership of the Holy Spirit.
Because Jesus is not interested merely in cleaning someone’s house.
He wants to dwell in the house.
That is why you need to be very careful about arrogantly stepping into someone’s life thinking:
I’ll cast this thing out and fix them.
You are not their Savior.
Jesus is.
You Can Cast Out a Demon, but You Cannot Cast Out Someone’s Choices
Where there is genuine demonic activity, there is authority in the name of Jesus Christ.
But that does not mean you should assume demonic activity simply because you do not like how someone treats you.
Not because you are tired of their behavior.
Not because you are frustrated watching them continually give in to their flesh.
You need the discernment of the Holy Spirit to recognize what you are actually dealing with.
Because here is the distinction that often gets missed:
You can cast out a demon.
You cannot cast out someone’s willingness to agree with one.
You cannot deal with demonic influence in the same way you would command a demonic spirit to leave.
You can pray against that influence.
You can pray that deception is exposed.
You can pray that their eyes are opened.
You can pray that they resist temptation.
You can pray that they come to repentance.
You can pray that they surrender themselves completely to Jesus Christ.
But if the enemy is tempting them and they continually choose to agree with that temptation, you cannot cast out what they keep choosing.
People have asked me,
“Have you ever cast a demon out of a narcissist?”
Over the course of my ministry, God has allowed me to witness and assist in several situations involving deliverance from demonic spirits.
But never once simply because somebody was a narcissist.
Because there is a tremendous amount of human choice involved in narcissistic behavior.
And that is what can make loving these people so frustrating and discouraging.
You occasionally see glimpses of the person they could be.
You see enough good to think:
There you are.
And you wonder what would happen if they would finally stop giving themselves over to their flesh, stop agreeing with deception, stop defending their sin, and genuinely surrender themselves to Jesus Christ.
But my friend,
That is the work of the Holy Spirit.
When you are dealing with your average narcissistic person, I would spend far less time trying to figure out which demon you need to cast out and far more time praying about the heart that refuses to repent.
Because ultimately, the greatest battle may not be getting a demon to leave.
It may be getting a person to surrender.
What Do You Do When You Cannot Take Any More?
Maybe you understand all of this, but you are still thinking,
“That’s great, but I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”
If that is where you are, check out this episode next to discover how God can break the narcissist’s hold on you:
👉 How to Break Free From a Narcissist: God’s Way to Find Freedom
And if you need practical, biblical guidance for navigating a narcissistic relationship without losing yourself in the process, grab your Narcissist Survival Guide here.
And before you go, make sure to check out this resource:
