Behind the Mask: What 24 Narcissists Had to Say About You

Narcissists have a superficial and alluring charm that draws you into to their web. They say everything you want to hear, classic Christian narcissism, but over time the cracks in their mask start to show.

Maybe after years of inconsistent behavior that didn’t match their words, you’re left wondering if it’s ALL been a facade.

Well, you don’t have to wonder any longer. I set out to get to the bottom of what they really think, and what I found surprised me. They all said the same thing. I mean they all used the same exact words. That’s right. All 24 narcissists that I spoke to said the same exact thing about their victims. And today I want to share that with you in hopes of bringing you a little clarity to your confusion.

(I spoke to both male and female narcissists, so I am going to use he/she interchangeably. The statements are reflective of both genders.)

So buckle up. Here’s what the narcissist had to say about you.

What the F— is wrong with her?

Forgive my use of foul language here, but I wanted to bring you the exact picture of what they say. They don’t mince words, nor do they see their part in the problem. Even the ones that did still honestly believe that their bad behavior is justified, but yours is inexcusable.

He/she doesn’t get me

This is usually after you’ve discovered their bologna and don’t worship them anymore.

He/she wasn’t supportive.

Again, when you’re not supporting them in whatever cockamamie endeavor they dream up, you’re the bad guy. They truly believe that you should support (aka agree with) them in every way.

She’s just a b——. He’s just a jerk/a—.

Again, my apologies for the language but narcissists are children that resort to name-calling when things don’t go their way.

He/she clearly doesn’t care to understand what I’m dealing with.

Narcissists always have excuses for why they aren’t succeeding, why they didn’t get something finished, or why they didn’t keep their word. And if they actually have a legitimate issue–like a health issue–that issue will be used every single time you try to challenge their lies and behavior.

Whatever! he/she isn’t/wasn’t worth my time.

Since the narcissist has no desire to work on a relationship, they will write you off faster than you can swat a mosquito in the summer. They love to talk trash about people who don’t play along with their inflated ego and will often use put-downs to garnish pity from others. They like to position themselves as the saint who put up with your abusive behavior. They can’t just walk away—they have to go down with a blaze of glorious victimhood.

What can I do to get him/her back?

After all of the name-slinging and trash-talking, every single narcissist asked how they could get their partner back, especially if they were rejected and discarded. They often pretend that they don’t care, but the rejection is killing them and their one purpose is to get you back to regain control in the relationship—that’s it.

They don’t care to change. They don’t feel bad about how they behaved. They only care that it had a negative outcome on them. That’s why they want you back—to regain control of the narrative. YOU don’t get the final say. Not in their world.

Why do I always pick the crazy ones?

This statement is meant to position themselves as the one who is always wronged.

After all I did for him/her, this is how he/she treats me?

Narcissists truly believe that you owe them. In their mind, they are self-sacrificing and you’re the beneficiary who owes them.

He/she has trust issues. They’re just too sensitive.

Narcissists can’t validate your feelings because it would force them to face their contribution to the problem. Instead it’s all directed on you. This is a way of gaslighting you, wearing you down, making you dependent on them, and causing you to feel like they are the only ones who could tolerate such abusive behavior from you.

What kind of person gives up on someone so easily?

Narcissists believe that they deserve unending chances, even with no evidence of change. They confuse forgiveness with trust and feel that you should have continued grace for their “mistakes,” despite the fact that they have none for yours.

How to deal with Christian narcissism

It can be very confusing when dealing with someone you thought cared about you. It can send your mind into a tizzy, wondering why all of your healthy, caring attempts come raging back at you with dysfunction.

My purpose in sharing these insider secrets is so that you know what you’re dealing with when it comes to Christian narcissism. Many of you are getting slaughtered because you believe it’s Christ-like to treat wolves as sheep.

Want to learn how to set boundaries like a boss? Check out my online course Boundaries with Toxic Family.

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