Are you tired of falling victim to the emotional and psychological manipulation tactics of a narcissist?

Do you worry that long-term exposure to this devil-sent individual will negatively impact your faith?

Narcissists are self-centered, egotistical, fragile individuals who only care about meeting their own needs—often at your expense.

They are excellent at playing mind games to gain the upper hand and get what they want in relationships.

They don’t see you as an individual with feelings. They see you as a pawn for their purpose and they don’t care how their behavior impacts you. 

They are demonically inspired and often dangerous.   

1 Peter 5:8 reminds us that the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. 

I would argue that if we need to be alert to the devil, we also need to be alert to the people he’s using. 

Let’s take a look at the demonic manipulation tactics of a narcissist and the mind games they’ll use to manipulate you.

Demonic mind game #1: The blame game

It’s easy to forget, but narcissists are very fragile individuals. 

You may have fallen for their false facade but behind that phony exterior is an empty shallow parasite who needs to feed off of you for validation. When that validation dries up and you try to have a healthy relationship with a healthy confrontation, you will see a wounded soul. And this is where it goes from broken to bad.

Narcissists can skillfully play the victim to garner sympathy and shift blame. They may exaggerate or entirely fabricate situations where they appear to be the innocent party, diverting attention from their own harmful actions.

Whether referring to past “failures” or current problems, narcissists will rarely accept responsibility for their actions. They’ll blame all the relationship issues on you. They never feel like anything is their fault. They’ll even make things up, so that you’ll be the one to fix their mess, all while they play the victim.

This behavior dates back to the beginning of time when God called out Adam for eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. What did he say? “The woman YOU gave made me do it.”

Now, I’m not saying that Adam was a narcissist, but you see how cunning the devil was right from the start.

Demonic mind game #2: The trigger game

Do you ever wonder how the narcissist seems to know ALL of your pain points?  That’s because they studied you like a book.  

Not with the intent to truly get to know you, but for the sheer purpose of gathering information for the future. That’s why they work so hard with love bombing to win you over, break down your guard, and get you vulnerable.  

This can really throw you for a loop, especially if you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist who doesn’t seem to care or listen, but suddenly when you’re arguing or they’re trying to get their way, they seem to have amazing recall. Every mistake you’ve made, every little thing you’ve said can and will be used against you.  

Demonic mind game #3: The coercion game

If narcissists don’t get what they want from you, they will use various forms of manipulation, guilt, shame, and triangulation all to get you to feel bad about yourself, second guess your boundaries, and ultimately give them what they want.

If you think the narcissist only uses coercion with big-ticket items, think again. This tactic is their go-to with EVERYTHING, which is why narcissists can be so exhausting to be in a relationship with.

They are classic manipulators who use coercion to control you.

But did you know that manipulation is a form of witchcraft? Whether it’s gaslighting or downright trickery, their game always involves deception. In essence, it’s lying.  And we don’t need to look any further than John 8:44 to be reminded that Satan is the father of lies. So any lies coming out of someone will be demonically inspired.

Demonic mind game #4: The confusion game

Have you ever had a conversation with a narcissist only to feel like you just talked in circles?

Nothing solid ever comes out of a conversation with a narcissist. With their word salads and constant contradictions, their aim is to cause confusion because there is no truth in them. 

Ask for clarification and you’ll get accused of cutting them off and questioning their good motives. Or better yet, you’ll be gaslit for being too demanding and trying to ruin the evening.

You may ask a simple question that should have a simple answer but the narcissist can skillfully take something black or white and turn it 62 shades of gray.

Genesis 3:1-5 almost reads like a narcissistic narrative: 

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made.

He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You[a] shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” 2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, 3 but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” 4 But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

Demonic mind game #5: The word game

Narcissists are notorious double talkers. They say one thing and do another. This flies in the face of the command found in Matthew 5:37: “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil”

So, if you’re the type to buy into someone’s words instead of evaluating their actions, you can find yourself in a trap. 

This is a common demonic game played by the narcissist. Maybe you’ve been starved for attention or craving validation, their aim is to get you emotionally hooked. But remember this: feelings get you to buy into their bologna before their actions show otherwise. It’s the ultimate in trickery. Then, when the action doesn’t line up with their words, you’re left dazed and confused but emotionally invested.

Demonic mind game #6: The giving game

Narcissists are givers? Yes, they are. But not in the biblical sense found in Corinthians 9:7, Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

Instead, the giving of a narcissist is like that of a puppeteer pulling strings; every gesture is carefully orchestrated for their self-serving performance. Narcissists are notorious for overpromising and under-delivering, but one of the biggest things that can trip you up is when the narcissist is actually giving. That’s why, if you’re not careful, you’ll fall for their ‘self-sacrificing’ acts.

They work very hard to give the impression that they are giving people, but it’s inconsistent.  

Maybe you’re getting complimented one minute but insulted the next. Or maybe you receive a wonderful gift only to have it thrown in your face later, with sayings like, “After all I’ve done for you,” and, “What about the time when I….”

Suddenly their giving doesn’t feel so good.

I was in a relationship with such a person and I realized that their giving was costing me too high of a price.

If the narcissist does something for you or your family, watch out–you’ll never hear the end of it.

Demonic mind game #7: The projection game

Think of how a projector works: it takes what’s inside and shines it outward. In a classroom, this makes a great tool, but in a relationship, it’s very destructive. 

Despite their outward appearance of confidence, you must remember that behind the narcissist’s false bravado is a fragile, wounded child filled with shame.

In many cases, there’s intense hatred but instead of looking inward, they take what they struggle with and project it onto you. They take what they dislike about themselves and point the finger outward.

In some cases, the projection game can be preemptive, like the spouse who accuses you of cheating but is the one betraying the marriage. Or the mother who accuses you of being nitpicky but it’s her who has a problem with everything you do. 

A narcissist often uses the projection game when you try to raise an issue or concern and suddenly they turn the tables and shine the light on you. It’s a more demonic form of defensiveness.  

That’s why it’s crucial to know yourself. Allow God to test your heart and grow you and yes, you can even use the accusations of the narcissist to do a self-check. But after you’ve taken this to the Lord, hang on to HIS truth, not the fabricated truth of the narcissist.  

Demonic mind game #8: The humiliation game

Narcissists, in their relentless pursuit of dominance and control, often employ insidious tactics to humiliate those around them. Their need for superiority drives a cunning manipulation of situations, where they exploit vulnerabilities and insecurities with surgical precision. 

They frequently use subtle belittlements, undermining comments, or if given the opportunity, public embarrassment to diminish the self-worth of others, all while maintaining a facade of innocence. 

The narcissist’s goal is not just to assert power but to revel in the emotional distress they inflict. They derive a demonic level of satisfaction from the perceived superiority gained through the humiliation of their targets. It’s a toxic game where empathy takes a backseat to their insatiable appetite for dominance.

Demonic mind game #9: The manipulation game

Narcissists are master manipulators, employing a range of subtle and not-so-subtle tactics to control and exploit others. 

They are incredibly charismatic and use flattery to initially draw people in. Or, in the case of the covert narcissist, they play the victim in need.

Once trust is established, they skillfully manipulate emotions, playing on insecurities and vulnerabilities. Gaslighting, a common technique, involves distorting reality to make you doubt your perceptions and sanity. 

Narcissists also use guilt, fear, and emotional withdrawal as weapons to bend others to their will.  If you’ve ever been stonewalled, you know exactly how it feels.  

The manipulation tactics of a narcissist are often masked by a veneer of kindness or concern, making it challenging for those ensnared to recognize the toxic dynamics at play. It’s diabolical and demonic how they use manipulative tactics to get you to back down.

Demonic mind game #10: The mirror game

It’s likely that at one time this person made you feel like no one has ever understood you as much as them. But it was all a game.

Mirroring is a tactic used to connect with others. When someone cares about you and knows you, it can be used as a reflection of who you are, much like a mirror. But narcissists are masters at distorting mirroring–kind of like a sick twisted fun house full of mirrors are comical at first, but over time, you can have a distorted and demented view of yourself. That’s the narcissist’s goal.

Their aim is less about getting to know you and more about gathering data. So in the early phases, they’ll make you believe that they like what you like. They’ll have the same values as you. They’ll even mimic your tone and mannerisms. All the while, you’re feeling like you’ve found someone who truly understands you.

If you’re not aware of what’s happening, you can falsely believe that it’s safe to let your guard down and be vulnerable. That’s the mirror game. They’re taking ALL the info and filing it away for future use.

Demonic mind game #11: The apology game

After you’ve had enough and can’t take it anymore–maybe your bags are packed or you’ve gone no contact—NOW they apologize.

Before you get excited and hopeful, know that it’s not genuine. It’s not the repentance that God requires for relationship restoration.  

What’s the difference? One is sorry for their actions and is willing to not only apologize but also completely turn from that behavior. The other is only sorry that you’re no longer tolerating their nonsense.  

Let’s remember that godly sorrow works repentance. (2 Corinthians 7:10)

Many will say that narcissists CAN’T apologize. That’s simply not true. They’re just unwilling to unless it suits them.

Be careful: when they do apologize, it can throw you for a loop cause the manipulation tactics of a narcissist are hard to read.

I get it, you optimistically hope that their apology is the turning point you’ve been praying for. But it’s more likely a superficial vague apology that ends up shifting blame onto external factors or even you.

So how do you know if a narcissist’s apology is genuine? Be sure to check out this episode on the three signs God says it’s OK to give them another chance.

Want to learn how to identify and deal with all the difficult people in your life?  Be sure to grab your FREE Toxic People Survival Guide.