When you’re in a narcissistic relationship it can feel like you’re caught in a never-ending, on again, off again storm. Constant drama badgers you like relentless winds and rain, and you don’t know where to run for cover….or if the sun will ever shine again. That’s why I want you to think of God’s guidance like an umbrella, protecting you from the storm. 

God’s protection will shelter you and He’s going to keep you safe and dry – if you let Him. 

These are the 5 Signs That God’s Guidance Is Protecting You From A Narcissistic Relationship

Sign #1: Unexpected Support 

Sometimes the most difficult part about being in a toxic relationship is that you don’t even realize it because of the isolation. That’s how toxic people operate. You might not even recognize that the relationship that you’re in is toxic and dysfunctional – maybe you’ve never known anything but a toxic mother or you think a dismissive spouse is just normal. My friend, God will often send people your way to educate and support you in this journey. Well, you’re here right now, my friend. He will not leave his children ignorant. He will always send support and sometimes does it in very unexpected ways. God’s support can sometimes show up in unexpected ways. I want you to keep your eyes and your mind open, because He has not forgotten you. 

Isaiah 41:10 says do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. You need to know that the first sign that God is protecting you from a narcissistic relationship is when he sends unexpected support your way. Stay open to his divine protection.

Sign #2: Closed Doors 

We often look for confirmation – the clear closing of a door – to confidently say goodbye to a toxic relationship, but what I find interesting is even when God gives us the closed door, instead of hanging on to God’s divine plan we often pine after and obsess over why someone is no longer in our life. I get it. There’s likely going to be a grieving process over the loss of someone. Even just over the loss of what you hoped it would. But when God closes that door I want you to consider it a sure sign that you’re done. You don’t need to try harder. You don’t need to overthink it. You just need to accept God’s divine guidance and wait for new beginnings. 

Remember Revelation 37 – what he opens no one can shut and what he shuts no one can open. 

So, let’s talk a little more about closed doors. If you struggle with codependency on any level, or people pleasing, attachment disorders, approval issues – the unhealed parts of you might still be searching and pining after that relationship. You might be romanticizing what was actually months and years of narcissistic abuse. 

I need you to hear me right now – when God closes that door and you’re still pining and still struggling, please recognize that there’s something going on within your heart that desperately needs healing. 

Sign #3: Persistent Red Flags 

God is going to send signals. He will never leave you completely clueless. You’ve seen the red flags and you’ve likely ignored them. Narcissists are masters at changing masks. They’ll love-bomb you in the beginning and do anything for you and then, as time goes on, you’ll start to see their mask slip until eventually they’re wearing something completely different. I’ve done it myself! We see the red flags and the yellow flags, but we ignore and justify it all. Why? Because, there’s a need within us that’s getting met. There’s something that this person has that we desperately want. But I want you to stop blowing through these stop signs. Those persistent red flags? You’re going to see them over and over and over again. I’m not talking about you somebody having a bad day or one isolated incident. I’m talking about consistently bad behavior. 

Proverbs 27:12 reminds us that the prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty. Don’t be simple, my friends.

Sign #4: Positive Changes

After distancing yourself from a toxic relationship you may begin to experience some positive changes in your life. Improved mental health. Increased opportunities. A sense of peace. A sense of freedom. Things you’ve never experienced before. Even a deep breath – maybe the first you’ve taken in a very long time. 

These are the signs that you are on the right track.

I love how Isaiah 43:18 says “Forget not the former things. Do not dwell on the past.”

Oftentimes we know how toxic a relationship is when we’re still in it. We see the signs. We’ve seen the behaviors and we now have a name for it. We’re educated and we’re getting it, but sometimes we don’t realize just how toxic it was until we’re out of it. But, keep going, my friends. You will be out of the woods soon.

Sign #5: Exposure of Facades 

When God allows that mask to slip and you start to see the real person behind that sweet or charming facade, I want you to take this as a sign that God is showing you who this person really is. A lot of times we have a tendency to make excuses for these people. We we blame it on a bad day and we believe their gaslighting. A lot of times we take their bad behavior to heart and we do too much of a self-examination. We take on too much of the responsibility. 

But, here’s some encouragement – Luke 122 says there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed and nothing hidden that will not be made known. God will bring that which is hidden into the light. He will expose deception and evil-natured motives. 

What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight and what you have whispered in the ears of inner rooms will be proclaimed from the rooftops.

Toxic people don’t grow out of their dysfunctions, they actually grow into them. The more time you spend in dysfunction the more likely you are to fall for gaslighting tactics. Confusion and codependency are some of the tell tale signs that you may be struggling with codependency and you’re not alone. It is such a pervasive problem in the body of Christ and that’s why I want to invite you to check out our course, Conquering Codependency Biblically.  This course will take you through the steps needed to begin healing from this abuse.

Please know that you are divinely protected, and with God’s guidance you will make it through this.