Finding peace after surviving narcissistic abuse can seem overwhelming, but healing is possible with God’s guidance. While the journey requires work and dedicated time with the Lord, there are four essential elements He wants to address in us to prevent becoming targets for toxic relationships in the future.
Here Are The 4 Key Steps To Healing And Surviving Narcissistic Abuse After Toxic Relationships: A Biblical Perspective
Key Step #1: Distinguish Between Forgiveness and Trust
One of the most common misconceptions in Christian circles is confusing forgiveness with trust. Remember this crucial distinction: forgiveness can be given freely, but trust must be earned. Many believers fall into the trap of thinking that true forgiveness requires immediate, complete relationship restoration with no questions asked.
This mindset isn’t just unbiblical—it’s foolish.
While we’re called to love others, we must be careful not to adopt a “Christian codependency” where we believe our faithfulness alone will change someone else. Doing the right thing should come from a place of obedience to God, not as a manipulation tactic to achieve desired outcomes.
Key Step #2: Renew Your Mind
After toxic relationships, it’s essential to examine your thought patterns and beliefs. Toxic people often employ gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and other manipulation tactics that can create destructive thought patterns. These patterns become like well-worn paths in our minds, automatically directing our thoughts down familiar but unhealthy routes.
However, there’s an important distinction between renewing your mind – which is something I cover extensively in my Renew Your Mind Course – and gaslighting yourself:
- Gaslighting yourself means taking responsibility for things that weren’t your fault
- Renewing your mind means examining triggers, aligning feelings with biblical truth, and choosing to believe God’s word over destructive thoughts
The goal isn’t to ignore reality but to allow God’s truth to transform how we process and respond to it. My course is designed to help you with exactly this, my friend. Also, exploring therapy for narcissistic abuse is something you may want to consider. Just be sure to find a therapist who will guide you towards the word of God.
Key Step #3: Find Your Identity in Christ
A crucial part of healing from a toxic relationship involves rediscovering who you are in Christ. Toxic relationships often strip away our sense of self, leaving us uncertain of our identity outside of the relationship. As God’s children, we need to understand:
- Our unique temperament and how God created us
- Our strengths, weaknesses, and communication style
- How to move from people-pleasing to God-pleasing
- That our worth isn’t based on performance but on our position as God’s children
Key Step #4: Seek and Act on Wisdom
The final step in God’s healing plan involves growing in wisdom. While Scripture encourages us to seek wise counsel, it also promises that God will provide wisdom to those who ask. However, there’s a crucial caveat: we must act on the wisdom we receive. When we repeatedly override God’s wisdom, we diminish our ability to recognize and respond to it in the future.
Think of it this way: if we don’t use the wisdom God provides, we risk losing our sensitivity to His guidance. This is particularly dangerous in toxic relationships, where we might be tempted to ignore wisdom in favor of what we want to believe about the situation or person.
Moving Forward
Healing and surviving narcissistic abuse after toxic relationships requires more than just ending the relationship or removing toxic people from our lives. It demands active engagement with God’s healing process, examining our patterns, renewing our minds, and choosing to act on His wisdom. While the journey may be challenging, remember that “all things are possible with God,” including finding true peace after narcissistic damage.
The key is not just receiving these truths but actively applying them. Choose today to begin implementing these principles, knowing that God will always be faithfully here to guide you through the healing process of how to heal from a toxic relationship
Ever wondered why you can’t say NO, even when you want or need to? You might be a ‘people pleaser’, my friend! Take my FREE Am I A People Pleaser Quiz to discover your ‘‘people-pleasing type’ and begin your journey to saying NO to people and YES to God!
