What if the chaos you’re seeing right now isn’t the narcissist gaining control but losing it?
What if the tension, the distance, or even the escalation you’re experiencing is actually the moment their hold on you is starting to break?
In today’s episode, I’m bringing together 3 powerful teachings that show you exactly how God deals with the narcissist when He’s had enough, and the clear signs God is trying to remove someone from your life and set you free from that toxic person.
Part 1: When A Narcissist Tries to Destroy You, Here’s What God Does
There are 3 phases that you can count on every time when dealing with a narcissist. They follow a pattern, and once you see it, you’ll never unsee it.
These phases aren’t just predictable, they’re inevitable, but just as sure as the narcissist’s destruction comes, so does God’s intervention and ultimately, His justice.
Narcissists are agents of chaos who thrive on sowing confusion and destruction, so it’s no surprise that their main targets are often Christians — because they are loving, compassionate, and forgiving.
But narcissists are actually being used by Satan to distract, derail, and discourage you from stepping into the fullness of what God has for your life. Do not be afraid, because your weapons are far greater than theirs if you know how to use them.
I want you to understand that the narcissist’s plan always follows this pattern:
Phase One: They Zero In on Their Target
Whether their goal is your destruction or their personal gain, the strategy is identical.
They present themselves as everything you’ve ever wanted — the ideal parent, the perfect partner, the answer to your prayers.
This is all designed to weaken your defenses, and it works.
You let your guard down, you let them in, and sure you see some red flags, but you convince yourself that it’s just a mistake or something you can work through together.
But soon enough that mask begins to slip, they can’t keep up the facade, and the inconsistencies start to show.
When you start questioning their behaviors and their motives, that is when things start to shift.
They hit you with love bombing or play the victim and gaslight you. Both tactics are meant to cloud your vision — to distract you from the real issues.
Everything is a carefully crafted illusion, beautiful at first, but dark and destructive beneath the surface. And by the time you see the truth, you’re already entangled in the web of confusion, manipulation, gaslighting, and invalidation. You begin to question your sanity, doubt your self-worth, and feel guilty for how you reacted to their emotional abuse.
It’s like a tornado. At first, it seems calm, but the closer you get the more you realize you’re standing in the middle of a raging storm. But the destruction they cause isn’t just external; it’s internal. They twist your mind, your emotions, and your sense of self-worth.
But here’s the truth — they can’t maintain that illusion forever.
The love bombing fades, the manipulation grows stronger, and the gaslighting becomes unbearable.
And you’re left questioning everything.
They don’t want to just break your heart, they want to break your spirit.
Phase Two: God’s Intervention
Imagine you’re in a burning building, frantically trying to put out the flames with a water spritzer. You’re doing everything you can, but the fire only seems to grow stronger. And just when it seems like all hope is lost, the fire brigade barges in with their powerful hoses.
But here’s the thing — you have to step back and let them do their job.
If you keep trying to handle the situation on your own, you’ll be standing in the way of your own rescue. And that is exactly how it is when God steps in.
He is ready to extinguish that chaos.
Sometimes the disruption, exposure, and distance you experience are actually signs God is trying to remove someone from your life for your protection and spiritual growth.
In the story of Joseph and his brothers (Genesis 30-50), Joseph’s brothers were jealous of him, they sold him into slavery, and faked his death. As a result, Joseph endured false accusations, imprisonment, and hardships, yet, God was with Joseph every step of the way. God gave Joseph favor at Potiphar’s house, in prison, and eventually as the second in command in Egypt. And through Joseph, God saved many lives.
As Genesis 50:20 says,
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”
God will step in.
The narcissist may think they have the upper hand, but this is where God’s intervention begins.
Exodus 14:14 tells us,
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
While the narcissist wages war against your mind and your spirit, God is already at work behind the scenes protecting you.
Your job is to put on the full armor of God and get out of His way.
This isn’t the time for retaliation, passive aggressive digs, or forming hatred in your heart to protect yourself from the hurt.
Your tactics can, and will, delay God’s intervention, because he’ll have to undo what you’ve done, or worse, deal with you because now you’ve gone down a wrong road.
Take the battle to the spirit realm; this is where your victory will be won.
Arm yourself with the heavy artillery found in Ephesians 6. The narcissist wants you to feel powerless, but God wants you back off, suit up, and stand still.
He will fight this battle.
Phase Three: God’s Justice
When God steps in to intervene, are you prepared for what happens when that fire gets put out?
Think of it like a wildfire that has been raging out of control. The flames consume everything in their path, and when God steps in to douse the flames, the fire doesn’t just stop, it reveals everything left behind.
And this is where God’s justice comes in.
Once that fire is out, everything that was hidden in that chaos is now exposed —- the lies, the manipulation, and the damage —- all of it comes to light.
Sometimes exposure itself becomes one of the undeniable signs God is trying to remove someone from your life and reveal the truth you were unable to see before.
Phase three is where God’s justice ignites.
But just like any fire, we can delay it or get burned trying to control the blaze ourselves.
So what does it look like when God brings justice after the storm? And how can we ensure we aren’t the ones holding it back?
Galatians 6:7 reminds us,
“Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that he will also reap.”
The narcissist may have unleashed destruction, but they cannot escape God’s justice.
It may seem slow in coming, but their lies, manipulation, and spiritual sabotage will come back to bite them.
They may think they have won, but God is a God of justice and Romans 12:19 reminds us that no injustice goes unpunished.
The narcissist will face the fallout of their behavior if they don’t repent.
So, what does this mean for you?
It means you’re victorious.
Believe that you have emerged from this spiritual battle stronger, wiser, and more rooted in Christ then when you went in.
To ensure that God’s justice is served in a timely manner, there are three critical steps you can take:
#1 – Give up the notion of what God’s timing should be
Isaiah 55:8-9 reminds us,
“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord, ‘as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.’”
Make sure that your prayers not only align with His will but also His timing.
We often think that we know what’s best, but God’s timing is perfect, even when it doesn’t align with ours.
Trusting in His higher plan will free you from that frustration.
#2 – Allow God to do His work within you
Narcissistic relationships leave deep wounds that require healing and Psalm 147:3 reminds us that,
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Before justice comes, let God restore your heart and mind. His healing will prepare you for the justice that He will bring in His time.
#3 – Trust Him and surrender
It’s not your job to force justice. God will fight for you.
Remember Exodus 14:14,
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Surrendering your will for control and trusting God fully is key.
He is more than capable of bringing justice and your peace comes from knowing that He is the one in control.
By releasing your timeline, allowing Him to heal you, and trusting in His plan, you create space for God’s justice to unfold in just the right way, at just the right time.
But here is where it can all go terribly wrong.
The enemy is going to tempt you to step in, cause you to question God’s sovereignty, and fill your heart with so much hurt and hate, that you feel justified holding on to that unforgiveness.
Your job is to resist his tactics and not become another casualty in this destruction.
Let God do what only God can do.
Part 2 – The #1 Sign God Is Preparing to Remove That Toxic Person
Imagine walking across a bridge, believing it will carry you to the other side. At first, it looks solid, maybe even strong, but the more you step forward, the more cracks you see. The wood begins to splinter, the ropes begin to fray, and before you know it the bridge is collapsing beneath you.
You keep trying to patch it up. Tying loose ropes, nailing broken planks —- but no matter what you do, it keeps falling apart.
That bridge was never meant to carry you forward, and some relationships are just like that. No matter how much you try to repair them, they keep breaking.
What if the very thing you’re fighting so hard to fix is something God is trying to remove?
Have you ever noticed how when things start falling apart in a toxic relationship, it’s like a mask is being ripped off?
What was once in the dark starts to come to light and you start seeing things you’ve never noticed before.
Their words don’t match their actions, their kindness feels more like manipulation, and no matter how hard you try to communicate it only makes things worse.
One of the clearest biblical signs that God is removing someone from your life is when their true nature starts to come to light.
Luke 8:17 says,
“For there is nothing hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light.”
When God is preparing to remove someone He starts by exposing who they really are.
Not the person they portray themselves to be, but the real them.
God needs you to see this, because He is going to do what you otherwise wouldn’t have done.
You would think that this would bring you clarity and peace, but instead, it often brings pain and even more confusion.
That’s because you realize that what you thought you had with this person has actually been built on lies. So instead of acting on the clarity, you start questioning their every motive and your every move.
So, let’s talk about what this looks like in real life so we can add even more clarity.
5 Signs That God Is Showing You Their True Character
#1 – You start seeing patterns of manipulation more clearly.
Things you used to justify now stand out as toxic, and you realize that their kindness was conditional and their love came with strings.
And the healthier you try to be, the more manipulated you feel.
That’s because they’re losing control.
#2 – They can’t hide it anymore.
You catch them in contradictions, lies, and excuses that no longer add up.
The things they once got away with come to the surface and people around you start noticing it, too.
#3 – Their mistreatment of you escalates.
At first it was subtle, but now it’s blatant and they no longer try to hide their disrespect.
They’ve gotten away with their abusive behavior for so long, they actually feel entitled to it, which is why they defend themselves so strongly when you call them out or try to stand up for yourself.
#4- They turn on you for little to no reason.
When you stop tolerating their toxicity, call out their nonsense, and stand your ground, their reaction goes to the next level.
They don’t just get distant, they attack.
They blame you, smear your name, or try to guilt trip you directly or through others.
It is the ultimate proof that this person was not for you. In fact, they’re proving that they’ve been against you.
#5 – God removes the rose-colored glasses.
There was likely a time that you cherished this person deeply, which is why you gave them chance after chance — grace after grace.
And I’m not saying that we don’t apply grace and second chances when someone repents — we’ve certainly received more grace than we deserve — but you can no longer ignore the red flags that God is showing you.
In 1 Samuel 18:10, we see how God exposed Saul’s true nature to David.
“The next day a harmful spirit from God rushed upon Saul, and he raved within his house… And Saul hurled the spear, for he thought, ‘I will pin David to the wall.’ But David evaded him twice.” (1 Samuel 18:10)
David once served Saul with loyalty, but as God’s favor lifted, Saul’s true character began to show. The jealousy, manipulation, and hatred became impossible to ignore and eventually, God removed David from Saul’s presence entirely.
When God is exposing someone, it’s not to punish them, it’s to protect you.
If their true character is being exposed, don’t ignore it.
So, What Do You Do Next?
#1 – Stop explaining away their behavior.
If you see toxic patterns, you don’t need more proof; you need to yield to what God is showing you.
This doesn’t mean that you exchange toxic for toxic or justify more dysfunctional behaviour.
It means, you pray.
#2 – Pray for them and for confirmation.
Ask God to make it even more clear if this person is meant to be in your life or if He’s the one exposing them for a reason.
#3 – Prepare for separation.
When God exposes someone, it’s often the final step before He removes them from your life.
Don’t fight to hold on to what He is trying to take away.
Whether it is for a season or permanent, keep your heart free from bitterness and open to God’s restoration.
Romans 12:19 says,
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
Trust that no demon or narcissist can surpass the power of our living God.
Part 3 – God’s Justice: What He Will Do to the Narcissist When He’s Had Enough
There’s a character in the Bible that always reminds me of God’s justice, and she can be found in the books of 1st and 2nd Kings. Her name — Jezebel.
Jezebel was a spiteful, manipulative, wicked woman who presented as charming, attractive, and at times, a victim. But she was actually self-centered and entitled.
Narcissists operate similarly, exalting themselves and creating false images.
Jezebel was infamously known for promoting the worship of Baal, a Canaanite deity, in Israel. This was in direct opposition to the worship of God. She was also famous for her role in the persecution of the prophets of God and the murder of Naboth.
In our lives, Jezebel is the mother who seems always to get her way with her constant abuse.
She’s the woman at the office who has the boss fooled — or at the very least, they’re afraid of her coming unhinged.
But ‘she’ doesn’t have to be a ‘she.’ Jezebel behavior is no respecter of genders.
But God will handle them the same way.
There are some predictable patterns that I want you to start looking out for.
Phase 1 – God Will Not Tolerate Idolatry and Falsehood
Jezebel’s promotion of Baal worship and attempts to suppress the worship of God represent the pinnacle of how the narcissist operates.
They’re idolizers and liars.
Like Jezebel, narcissists create false images and exalt themselves at the expense of others.
But remember this — God hates idol worship.
“You shall have no other gods before me.” Exodus 20
Now, you may be thinking, “It’s not like they have carved images they worship.”
No, but they do have mirrors, and narcissists essentially worship themselves in a mirror. They exalt themselves even above God.
And they aren’t content with just worshipping themselves, they need you to worship them, too.
But God will send warnings, just as He sent Elijah to Jezebel.
If we heed these warnings, it can lead to repentance and restoration, but if these warnings are ignored, destruction follows.
That’s exactly what he did for Jezebel. Elijah and the other prophets were sent to stand up to her, but instead of heeding their warnings, she set out to destroy Elijah.
Isn’t that just like a scorned narcissist?
Cross them and their hatred has no expiration. And crossing them doesn’t take much.
I have to think that Elijah wondered what God was going to do about Jezebel, but God is faithful. It is not His will that any should parish, but all come to salvation.
God will give ample opportunity for us to turn from wickedness and repent. And He often sends warnings through people.
This ‘warning phase’ can feel very long for those who are waiting for justice and change.
It’s even in this phase that many start to embrace destructive or retaliatory behavior, then wonder why things start to get worse.
Many people even give up on God in this phase, before ever getting the chance to see the next phase.
Phase 2 – God Will Bring Divine Justice
Jezebel’s fate is often cited as an example of God’s divine justice.
There is nothing that Elijah could have done to stop this woman. God had to intervene.
Jezebel’s story ends in a very gruesome manner as prophesied by Elijah (2 Kings 9). This brutal end was a direct consequence of her actions and is seen as divine retribution to this day.
God will not be mocked.
That narcissist in your life who uses manipulation like sport, lacks empathy, exploits people for their personal gain, and twists scripture to justify his or her means is headed for a fate similar to Jezebel.
It may not be as gruesome, but it will be just as just.
God’s justice will prevail.
God will reach a point where He hands the narcissist over to their own debased mind.
Their justice may come through a lack of supply, failure, and perpetual dissatisfaction.
While they may consider themselves victims, their ultimate fate is misery and isolation as they burn through the people they use.
When that time comes, it may look like there is no justice for you, but it is torment for them.
But your justice is not about seeing them suffer.
Your justice is grounded in the truth that God will restore the years, He will use what the enemy meant for evil, and He will turn your mourning into dancing.
You just need to be still.
One of the ways that a narcissist pulls you into their trap is through twisting scripture that leaves you wondering if you’re the one sinning against God. That’s why I want you to check out this episode next: 4 Scriptures Narcissists Can’t Resist Twisting to Use God Against You. And don’t forget to grab your free Narcissist Survival Guide.
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