Tired of feeling like people just take advantage of your good nature? Do you often ask yourself, “’Why do I let people walk all over me?”

Perhaps you loan money that never gets repaid, you get stuck baking for another fundraiser, or you drive out of your way to help a sister who never returns the favor. You basically put your life on hold for others, and it’s getting old.

That’s why, today I want to warn you about the five signs that scream “Walk all over me.”

Sign #1: You say yes out of guilt

Do you find yourself saying yes when you’d prefer to say no? Perhaps you even kick it up a notch and disguise your guilt behind acting like a cheerful giver.

Don’t be fooled, my friend. True cheerfulness doesn’t come from an exterior smile, but rather from an interior attitude. 

If you’re constantly saying yes and later regretting it, then it’s likely you’ve set yourself to be taken advantage of by others.

Oh, I’m not saying they’re not to blame for overstepping, but if someone is taking advantage of your good nature and you don’t stop it, there likely won’t be an end in sight.

You might do well to get some help over why you struggle with guilt, why you fall for their outlandish stories of desperation, and why their approval is more important than your peace. 

If you need help unpacking the pains of your past, we’ve connected with Faithful Counseling. They can help you find a counselor that is right for you. Click here for all the details.

Sign #2: You avoid confrontation

Do you consider yourself a peacekeeper? Perhaps your motto is ‘peace at all cost.’ 

What if I told you that there’s a difference between being a peacekeeper and a peacemaker?

The difference is, one is biblical, the other is not.

Peacemakers have peace ruling within their hearts. 

Peacekeepers usually have fear, anxiety, and resentment ruling within them.

Peacemakers are active. 

Peacekeepers, on the other hand, are passive—and sometimes passive-aggressive. They often go along to get along. They stay quiet so as not to disturb the peace even when a disturbance may be needed. 

Peacemakers are honest about their feelings and circumstances and will even expose lies so that the wounds can begin to heal. 

Peacekeepers on the other hand are often in denial about feelings and circumstances. 

Peacemakers look for harmony through reconciliation.

Peacekeepers look for harmony through avoidance.

Sign #3: You apologize—all the time

Is ‘I’m sorry’ your go-to response?

While we’re called to repent of our wrongdoing, saying ‘I’m sorry’ just to keep others from experiencing bad feelings isn’t repentance, it’s enablement. AND it can make you a target for toxic people.

Keep your apologies for when you’ve truly done something wrong. Don’t apologize to manage someone’s emotions and make them feel better. 

If you struggle with feeling resentful after you apologize, it’s likely you’re struggling with codependency. To learn how to stop people-pleasing and start God-pleasing, check out my online course Conquering Codependency Biblically. All the details are here for you. 

Sign #4: You go with the flow

Perhaps you see yourself as flexible and accommodating. Maybe even easygoing. 

While this can be a wonderful quality, it can be detrimental when your go-with-the-flow demeanor is founded in fear. 

If you are the type that always needs to be seen as the ‘nice guy’ or ‘nice girl’ who never rocks the boat, it’s highly likely that you are living a sub-par life.

I realize that’s a bold statement, but I’ve seen it countless times. People who think they’re pleasing others by never expressing their true desires and never challenging others to level up are very rarely living the life that God had intended—all in order to be seen as flexible and easygoing.

This attitude is not nearly as self-sacrificial as you may think. 

The truth is, God gave you unique desires, goals, needs, and purpose for HIS use—not their ABUSE.

How effective can you be for the kingdom of God when you’re exhausted from overserving others?

Sign #5: You tolerate toxic behavior

Are you always making excuses for someone’s bad behavior? Perhaps you chalk it up to a bad day or a rough childhood. Or maybe you believe that it’s your Christian duty to tolerate toxic abuse. 

While it’s true, that we always want to extend the same grace that our Lord Jesus shows us, there is a difference between having grace for mistakes and wearing a mask.

What do I mean? We all make mistakes. But a healthy person will acknowledge their mistake and truly try hard not to do that again. 

Toxic people, on the other hand, wear masks to disguise who they really are. But since no one can maintain a mask for long, it slips. Once their toxicity is exposed, they blame, deflect, redirect, degrade, and lie about almost everything. Ever wondered, ‘Why do I let people walk all over me?’ Doormat individuals accept this treatment, clinging to the hope that someday these individuals will love and respect them. Break free from toxic patterns by understanding the signs of being taken advantage of and learning how to set empowering boundaries.

If you’ve ever wondered what type of people pleaser you are, be sure to take your FREE Quiz here. 

Want to learn how to set boundaries with these parasitic freeloaders? Be sure to check out this episode next.