While you’re actively learning how to protect yourself from a narcissist‘s manipulative schemes, the enemy is laser-focused on YOU. He’s using backdoor attempts to infiltrate YOUR life.

And while it’s tempting to blame the narcissist—after all, THEY are the Trojan horse—the truth is that 1 Peter 5:8 reminds us that we are to “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” 

In fact, there are seven different demonic doors that can be opened in your life as a result of a narcissistic.

Let’s take a look at each one, exploring how to protect yourself from a narcissist and learning how to slam them shut in the mighty name of Jesus.

Door #1: Confusion

The most common quality narcissists develop within their victims is confusion. 

Your desire to resolve conflict and grow in your relationship is met instead with an onslaught of underhanded accusations and backhanded belittlements. It’s enough to leave you bewildered, wondering how they’re just not understanding what you’re saying. 

Here’s the truth: they don’t understand because they don’t care. You’re confusing their fake, self-serving interactions with a genuine interest in the relationship.

My friend, God is not the author of confusion. Believe His promises and respond promptly to His commands and confusion will loosen its grip on you.

Door #2: Suspicion

When someone you should be able to trust betrays you, it hits to the core. It leads you to think If I can’t trust my parent or partner, who can I trust? You begin to view others through the lens of suspicion. 

I get it. You’ve been hurt. But I want to encourage you to not allow the enemy to use a spirit of suspicion to destroy any future relationships.

That doesn’t mean you override your God-given discernment and trust everyone—that would be foolish. Rather, allow God to show you who you can and can’t trust by leaning on Him and waiting to see what fruit they produce.

Door # 3: Identity Crisis

Whether it’s listening to their damaging words or spending all of your focus on meeting their needs, being in a narcissistic relationship is an invitation to live below your potential.

Over the years I’ve encountered many narcissistic survivors who say, I don’t even know who I am. If you’re not grounded in Christ, being involved with a narcissist can wreak havoc on your self-esteem.

The solution: turn your focus to who God says you are—despite what the narcissist says. Immerse yourself in scriptures like Psalm 139:13-16 and Ephesians 2:10 until God’s word begins to drown out the narcissistic lies.

Don’t fool yourself though, this will be a battle, as the enemy will want to pull you back into that old toxic thinking. Keep fighting, my friend. 

Door #3 definitely opens the door to #4.

Door #4: Codependency 

Codependency is an unhealthy attachment to others, and a reliance on others to get your needs met. It’s like you can’t be OK unless they’re OK with you. 

In codependent relationships, you rely on each other instead of God. As romantic as it sounds in movies, it’s destructive in healthy relationships. 

Satan is a master at getting you to look to others for your needs and then calling it ‘love.’ Codependents are classic mood monitors. They pride themselves on ‘feeling’ others’ feelings. 

This is not a superpower, this is a demonic distortion of what healthy interdependent relationships should look like.   

If you are struggling with codependency, please know you’re not alone. It’s such a prevalent problem that I created a Conquering Codependency Biblically online course.

Door #5: Trauma bonding

Worse than codependency, trauma bonding is when you as the victim develop a deep sense of affection, empathy, and sympathy for your abuser.

This form of bonding isn’t positive. Like codependency, it’s the devil’s counterfeit for healthy interdependent relationships. 

A trauma-bonded person can actually see their abuser’s actions as ‘love.’ The enemy is hard at work in this dynamic as it plays on our intrinsic need for attachment and validation. 

There is hope. If you are in Christ, there is no devil in hell or narcissistic person on earth that is more powerful than our God. Allow God to break that bond by reforming your attachment to Him and Him alone. 

You also may benefit from professional help. We’ve connected with Faithful Counseling to help you find the right counselor for you. Use the link in the description below and they will pair you with a counselor who is right for you and your situation, and you will receive 10 percent off your first month’s counseling.

Door #6: Maladaptive behavior

If a narcissist has maladaptive behaviors, over time, you can learn to respond with equal, albeit different types, of poor relationship skills. 

If you’ve chosen to stay with a narcissist and aren’t completely submitted to the Lordship of Jesus Christ, you WILL develop unhealthy behaviors to cope. But coping and thriving are not the same. 

It’s not uncommon for partners or children of narcissistic abusers to develop survival behaviors ranging from substance abuse to victim-like thinking. You may even find yourself being manipulative, using guilt as a weapon, or adopting unhealthy forms of avoidance.

Granted, it’s impossible to have a healthy relationship when one of the two people are toxic, but be careful not to fall into the trap of exchanging evil for evil. 

Door #7: Narcissism

If you’re not careful, being in a narcissistic relationship for a considerable amount of time can make you susceptible to becoming narcissistic yourself. 

The devil is sly in this way, as he gets you to focus all of your attention on learning about narcissism and staying stuck in a self-pitying, victim mindset. Instead of focusing on growing in the Lord, your life now becomes all about you.

You’re either now a covert victim or an overt power taker:

Oh, look how they ruined my life. 

Or, I’m getting my power back.

Both of those mindsets leave God out of the equation. 

“I’ve only touched on a few so far. What other demonic doors do you see opened in narcissistic relationships, and how to protect yourself from a narcissist’s influence?

Want to learn the demonic spirits that operate behind narcissism? Check out this episode here.

Struggling with people pleasing?  Take your FREE Am I a People Pleaser Quiz to discover your type.